Tonight I kept time at the Funny Bone for 17 comics and a fairly decent audience. Before that, I did some writing in Starbucks alone and tried to check out a couple of girls without seeming too creepy. Chances are, I failed...
A security guard was talking with one of the baristas (coffee makers) about a college Psychology class, specifcally "Human Sexuality". I joined the conversation as I remember my Human Sexuality class at Columbia College. Psych Three Eighty Five. PSYC 385 in the catalog. The most memorable thing about Psych 385 was we took a field trip. To an adult novelty store. I heard about the field trip before I registered from others who had taken the class and honestly, that was the main reason I took the class. (Thank God I was over 18, because there was NO WAY my mom would sign THAT permission slip...) The security guard was like "what would you learn there?". Well, the most amazing thing I learned is that prosthetic arms are actually very useful, even with the hand is all balled up in a fist (complaints can be sent to complaints@marcusisfunny.com). While at Starbucks I also text messaged Skippy the Kidd and my buddy Leroy this: "Joke-i like to buy,use, and return stuff at Wal mart. You can do TVs, VCRs and some books. But they get picky with some stuff-like toothpaste and condoms."
Skippy replied "Ha ha! Thats awesome! Me like."
Leroy said "You should add cereal to that list"
Cereal is a good item to add; and would make an "even" rule of three there at the end, but I purposefully made that a set of two because I already established a pattern with "TVs, VCRs and some books" and the Rule Of Three's (R.O.T.'s) effectiveness comes from the establishment of a pattern (items 1 and 2) and then the expected "unexpected twist" (3). But who knows the joke may work well with "cereal". It's fun to say and most people like eating it...
Anyway, I should get to bed (I have to work as usual). People at work keep asking me to grow my hair out. My boss, Karen, just doesn't understand. One time she said "I bet you'd look really good with hair." Did she think that was a compliment? Jeesh, I couldn't walk up to a girl and say "I bet you'd be really pretty if you lost 20 or 30 pounds..."
Before I go to bed. Here's some dating advice: If you have to tell a girl to stop crying more than once on a first date, you might want to rethink having her meet your parents (suggestions for a replacement punch line can be emailled to notfunny@marcusisfunny.com)
One last thing, I'm working on my new Tetris joke, and it's getting easier, especially thanks to VideoGame Musical Treasures.
Seriously, that's all for the night. Laughs (on the Landing) tomorrow.
I know I won't be leaving here with you