Last night was one of the most unique comedy nights I've ever had. Ever. Paul and I decided to walk to the club because it was nice out and only a short walk (half mile or less) to the club from the condo. As we walk up, Pat is just getting out of his SUV. We all walk in together and pass a bus for the Arkansas School for the Blind. I saw it, and briefly thought about my blind jokes and wondered if they'd be a problem, but in the past I've never offended anyone with my skiing and drinking jokes.
Fast forward about a half an hour. I'm sitting in the back and I see a blind guy being let to the bathroom, so I figure "There he is". Pause: I only saw 1 (one) blind guy right there. But there was a bus outside, indicating more than one person came in the bus. Un-Pause .
Now, skip to the next chapter; I'm on stage and doing alright. I opened with my Hooters joke, which is working (though I think I need to see a couple of the last lines with a VERY specific tone of voice (tone might be the wrong term, I might be talking about pitch, but since Brother Christian (one of my choir instructors from the seminary) isn't here, I can't ask. Anyway, I'm a little ways into my blind skier joke (I found a new setup, by the way: I like skiing, because I'm kind of good at it, and anyone can do it. I've seen people in wheelchairs ski; I've even seen blind people ski. It's crazy because.... So this guy in the front row says something. It's a light-hearted heckle, like he's trying to help me out. Anyway I respond neutrally (I don't insult him, but I also don't encourage anymore from him). He says something else, I say something else (still neutral) and then he tells me he's blind. And that threw me so hard, even HE saw it. He said something about how it caught me off guard. Then he said something about having a seeing eye dog with him. I thought he was talking about his date, and I said (laughingly) that it was rude to call his girl that, and the crowd died laughing. Then I looked at his feet and saw an actual Seeing Eye Dog (named Duke). So then I broke out a joke I haven't done in years about how I dated a girl who trained seeing eye dogs. Somehow I got the audience (and that guy) back and finished out my set. I don't know chronologically where it happened, but I did my Ferrari joke again and wrote a new line on stage to close out the bit. I'm pretty excited about it. Near the end of the show, I was playing Zombieville, USA and some audience members in the back started asking me about it. They had iPhones too and we started talking about them for a bit. After the show, they said they'd look me up online and be my Facebook fans.
The second show was good, but I had to kind of "work" to get through my set, which is fine. I stuck to my time second show (I went over a minute or two first show) and got to try my Ferrari joke again. This time I dropped a couple parts that I think aren't necessary or necessarily hilarious. I'll work on them tonight and until I figure them out. I'm very stoked right now because I might be coming back to St Louis with about 2 more minutes of material. I haven't been sleeping well at all this week, seriously I went to bed at 4 this morning and I was up by 11. I'm going to blame the bed in my emcee room and try to catch a nap this afternoon before the shows because as always, I'm driving home tonight so I can work tomorrow afternoon.

Paddy G in the house

Pat Godwin showed up right as Paul and I were heading over to the club tonight. He had a valid/personal reason for his absence last night, so I'll leave it at that. I was nervous about tonight's show because Paul and I re-worked my Ferrari joke today and we literally spent an hour on it. I opened tonight with my new Hooters joke and it did alright, though I think it's way funnier than the audience gave credit. My set went well; the audience was good but a little tight. After my set, Pat said that I did well, especially given the circumstances. Tomorrow we have 2 shows and 3 on Saturday. Now that I have a definite outline for my Ferrari joke, I'm planning on doing it every show. I'd love to come back to St Louis with a couple new polished / semi-polished bits.

100% unexpected

The show tonight at the Loony Bin in Little Rock was really good. It was open mic night and since Pat Godwin wasn't performing tonight they had 9 locals go up and then I did about 12 and Paul Strickland closed out the show with 25.
Some of the open micers did really well, and a couple did not. The audience hung in there, though. My set was really fun, I had a couple people heckle early on, but I shut them up by being quick (read I snapped at them) and a little vulgar. But not real vulgar. My math jokes got some serious laughs tonight, which shocked the heck out of me (cause it's Little Rock and they NEVER laugh at the math jokes). I had a couple of weird reactions from the crowd (they laughed at treasure map, but not booty), and they really laughed at the Abraham Lincoln punchline but not the hat/sneak/beard tags.
Paul Strickland is very funny; he has some lines that are just beautiful and he's got a really good stage persona. Offstage he's pretty easy to get along with and he's already helped me in the writing of some jokes.
I'm very excited about the rest of the week.

I grabbed a nap before the first show last night and I think it threw me off my game, but Beth had good things to say about the week, so I don't think it was too detrimental. My Hooters joke worked better second show than it did first show, and my Ferrari joke is still being troublesome, but I guess that means when it finally works it'll feel better.

Here's a good random treat: I had a terrible nightmare about eating it on stage.

The room looked like a "hall", and I was behind a podium for some reason. Anyway I started in on my stuff about how I don't drink and some lady heckled me and said that people who have drinking problems wouldn't appreciate me making light of their problems. I told the lady I have a drinking problem and continues but she had already convinced the audience she was right. So I struggled through my material and (here's the worst part) I could see the club owner (who doesn't exist in reality) light me and then approach the stage. Clearly I had lost the audience and he wasn't happy. I woke up while the headliner (Dan O'Sullivan, who does exist) was telling me he couldn't believe I ate it that bad two weeks in a row.

That was the worst part of the dream; apparently now I'm not allowed at TWO imaginary-clubs...

Thursday: I came up with a good line on stage to close out my Abraham Lincoln joke. My set felt a little disjointed and I didn't do my "new" Ferrari joke.

Friday: I wrote a Hooter's joke today because Dano and I went to Hooter's for lunch. I didn't word it completely right first show because it's new and I think the wording need to be very specific. The show was pretty good, although I didn't try that Ferrari joke.
I did try the Ferrari joke second show, and I may be loosing confidence in the premise. I specifically remember it working, but it seems so long ago it's hard to believe. For an extreme example, I'd liken it to seeing a miracle. You see the miracle and belief whole-heartedly in what your senses tell you happened. But years later, as the memories fade you start to second-guess yourself and the validity of the miracle. I did have a blast second show, though. I remember bring really loose and comfortable; I'm hoping tonight's shows go just as well.

Monday and Tuesday were pretty normal as open mic nights go, so I didn't feel like blogging about them. But tonight's show at the Loony Bin was so much fun. Wednesday is open mic night at the Loony Bins, and I love it.

In a Loony Bin open mic, the emcee doesn't warm up the crowd for the comics. He just throws the first to the wolves. I asked Beth about it today and she says it makes the comics learn faster. Either way, I had brought up seven open micers before I did my set (I tried to make a joke between each of them). My set was pretty good, I did my Nervous joke, my overboard joke and my Mia Wallace joke (my new line about killing the mood got a semi-applause-break). I had a weird segue into my Sam's club joke (I ended with the Scarface line). I didn't do my Ferrari joke, and I wanted to work on it all this and week; so I'm slightly bummed there. I did my shampoo, braille menus, gay bar chunk and got some good laughs. The feature act, Justin Leon from Kansas City (Lawrence) was really funny and Dano had a good set too. I'm really looking forward to the rest of the week, I really think we have a solid show this week.

Trip to Columbia

Last night I went to Columbia for their open mic at the Eastside Tavern. The Eastside Tavern used to be one of my favorite bars in Columbia (still is, technically). They had a pretty good turnout, but the show literally started 50 minutes late or so (which is cool, I didn't have anywhere to be). I wanted to perform in Columbia because I still have friends from college who live there and haven't seen me perform in years (if ever).
I got to go up first after the emcee, Dan Friesen, and I had a good set. People laughed and after I was off stage they told me I did well. After I was done, I watched the other comics until it was time for the "Make Sal laugh" competition.
Sal is the owner of the bar, he's a long haired pierced tattooed kind of guy and he's awesome. So each comic got 2 minutes to make Sal laugh using whatever comic devices that comic wanted. Each is timed so in case more than one makes Sal win, the quickest is selected as winner. It took me 21 seconds to get Sal to laugh (I did some roast-like jokes (so did some of the other comics)) but unfortunately someone else had already done it in 18 seconds. So I didn't win the 20 dollar bar tab, but I did have a great time. Then I drove home and slept.

I just walked in the door from my trip to Ashland, WI. I left yesterday around 8:00am because my GPS said I could do the trip in 10 hours and 15 minutes. I was hoping to get into town around 6, maybe 6:30, hit the hotel for a nap and go to the show at 8:00). Nothing even remotely similar to that happened. Instead I took a wrong turn after grabbing some coffee and added a 20 minute detour to my trip, so now I was scheduled to arrive closer to 6:45. Eventually I get a call from the guys at Charter (who booked me) and the bar had decided to do a second show. I say I'll do anything to help (I'm trying to impress) and tell them my ETA is 6:50 or so (I was getting into some two lane traffic and the speed limit was 55 for over a hundred miles. Seriously). Eventually everyone agrees I'll try to make it by 7:00 and we'll do two shows.
So I pick up the speed and start passing people (still a two lane road here, speed limit 55). Eventually I pass a truck and I have to floor-it to make it in time and not crash into the vehicle in the other lane up the road. Turns out that other vehicle was a statr trooper and he clocked me at 81 mph. He was nice, and my ticket is $236 and some change. So if I can make the second show, I'll almost be able to pay for my ticket (and nothing else) with tonight's pay.
I ended up making the show. Mark Poolos was headlining; it was cool to see him again. I did 24 minutes each show and Mark said he was impressed I didn't get angry because of my ticket. Both shows were fine, I'd say they were like a Sunday show at a club. Kind of chill, but they laughed. Anyway, Sarah, the manager of the club said she felt bad that the additional show caused me to get that ticket so she gave me a bonus (which I repeatedly tried to refuse, because I don't know what the etiquette is in that situation).
After the second shows, I talked with Mark and Tim (the bartender) and then headed Hotel Chequamegon, which was very nice. Then I woke up this morning and drove home.

The Get A Way Comedy Night

Tonight I went to New Frankfort, IL. More specifically I went to the Get A Way Bar to do comedy with Scott Long. Before the show, I met a local rookie comedian (I won't mention his name, just in case anything I write could be taken the wrong way. Don't get me wrong, the guy was nice, he just did somethings that new comics do. Call them mistakes or whatever, I'm just saying what happened). He was going to do some time before the show. He had done so last month at the bar and said he had performed one other time. When I asked how much time he was doing, he said thirty minutes. I let that comment go for a bit because he said he told stories on stage and so I wouldn't seem like a jerk, but eventually I brought it up and told him that 30 minutes was a pretty unreasonable expectation, both from himself and from the audience. I've been doing comedy for 5 years now, and I barely have 30 minutes.
Anyway, a half an hour before eight (the show is supposed to start at eight) this guy gets on stage. And he does alright, I mean the audience wasn't really prepared, but he stuck it out on stage for about 17 minutes and I never saw him get rattled or discouraged. So he's got that going for him. Anyway, they bring me up almost immediately, by reading my bio off of my website (that made me laugh), 13 minutes early. Luckily I was ready. I always am.
So I got on stage and started, the microphone kept cutting in and out and at one point I accused the sound guy of messing with me (that got a laugh). Eventually he just gave me a new mic (they were wireless, so it was a smooth transition). I had some talkative people: I told one lady mid-setup to just go ahead and talk. I continued my joke without taking a breath, and that kind of got a laugh. Later, some very drunk guy (around 8pm, keep in mind) starts talking and I point out that the people laugh when I talk and don't when he talks. Then I told him that everyone pretty much hated him and wanted him to shut up. The crowd definitely laughed at that. Anyway I checked my phone at 8:04 (which means I was on for 17 minutes) and was pretty sure I had enough material to get to 30 (That's a big fear of mine, coming up short on time). Anyway, I didn't check my phone again until I got off stage at 8:16.
I learned a bit about featuring tonight; some comics say that you don't really start learning comedy (or learn who they are, whatever) until you start featuring. I agree. Someone once told me that karate students don't start learning the good stuff until they're black belts, so I look at it like that.
Tonight I learned that it's not just about being funny, it's about pacing yourself and not getting tired on stage. I guess you can get physically tired if you move around or are really out of shape, but I'm talking about getting tired of being on stage. If the audience isn't the best, or they aren't laughing enough anymore, it might be because the delivery is off.
That's one thing I wanted to tell the rookie guy; it's like UFC fighting. You don't just get huge stamina for grappling and ground-work. You have to work your way up to that.
Anyway, while Scott was on stage, I talked shop with the other guy and tried to get his perspective on comedy. I gave him some advice (he asked and I warned him to take it with a grain of salt). I told him to get good, he'd have to do more comedy and really surround himself with it. It made me think of someone who was stuck on an island and made a bow out of a stick and a shoe-lace. It might do in a pinch, but it's not going to be as effective as a product from someone who's studied around other bowyers. That's what comics (especially new ones) need. Other comics. And clubs. And stagetime.

The Forum and Lloyd and Harry's

I didn't blog last week; probably because there wasn't much to blog about. It's getting like that again for me; mainly because the little things I'm trying on stage are interesting to me. Until I try to explain them to people. Then it just sounds weird. For example, tonight at Lloyd and Harry's, the crowd was extremely unruly. Dani Reel got up and had people join her to sing Clayton happy birthday. And I got to follow that. Not that I cared, I pretty much write off L&H shows as a loss before I go up. That way there are no expectations. So far, that strategy has paid off numerous times. Like tonight for example. I went on stage and decided to talk-under the audience. I don't remember when I learned about it (talking under an audience basically means I talked quietly so that the audience would police itself: those who wanted to hear would silence the louder audience members) but it worked tonight (nothing works 100% of the time, if it would have failed, I might have just eaten it on stage or tried something else). Dani's friends started yelling at people who were loud, and then asked me to. So I told the guys to shut up, which they kind of did (I was lucky they didn't start talking back to me more than they did).

Anyway, I had some new jokes tonight that I tried. They didn't work at the Forum. Johnny Kavanaugh emceed, and I was slated to go up first. I was going to ride Johnny's likability-wave and use it so I could said new jokes. The audience didn't seem very attentive while I was on stage, and I kind of resented them for it. I think they were upset because I asked them (repeatedly) to move closer to the stage (which few did). After a certain point, I do begin to hate audiences. And I kind of hated the one tonight. Especially because eventually they behaved for some of the other comics. I feel kind of jealous, you know? Why couldn't they have liked me? Why couldn't I have a good set. I hope that sounds sarcastic.