Thursday, April 22, 2010
Samurai Code of Comedy: Believe in your own talent
It so happened that a group of warriors were traveling together. They were serving as guards for a wealthy merchant who needed a protective escort. As they travelled, they told of their skills and experiences to put the merchant at ease. One samurai told a story where he saved a child from a drunk man in a bar. Another told a story about how he fought two men without the benefit of a proper sword. When a third warrior told a story, it was obvious to everyone but the merchant that it was not his story. One samurai pulled him aside and asked “Why do you take credit for something that you have not done? Are you so unconfident in your own experiences that you must pass of the work of others as your own?” The man rebutted saying that the Merchant wouldn't know any better. “True,” said the samurai, “but your audience was more than the merchant, you told the story to your fellow warriors. We recognize that story is not yours. If you are not confident in yourself, how can we be confident in you? Because you did not tell a story of your own, we have no idea how effective you will be in battle. And if we do not find out on this journey, it is doubtful we will be willing to find out on another. Even if you would have told a moderately impressive story, at least it would have been your own and we would know what kind of warrior you are. Now we only know you as a liar”.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Samurai Code of Comedy: On Failure
Two men were preparing for battle, both were strong warriors, but one had never lost a fight. The other had been bested but never killed. Because of this he had many scars. When the time of battle came, both men were wounded. The pain was too much for the heretofore undefeated man and he was unable to fight. The scarred veteran was accustomed to the pain and was able to fight anyway. Because of his previous defeats, he was able to survive. A comedian should remember this story when bombing on stage. Having a rough set can focus the mind on what needs to be fixed. As long as a lesson is learned, no failure is dishonorable.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Samurai Code of Comedy: On Training with Another
A warrior cannot train completely by himself. If his sword has no one to strike at, it will loose spirit and not be ready in battle. Even if he trains with another below his skill level, his sword will become confident and be ready for battle. A comedian should consider writing with other comedians. Sharing ideas and looking for perspective and new angles can help even the most experienced comic find a new idea, phrase, tag or joke. One who does not accept the help of others will have a hard time growing and will be eclipsed by individuals who prepare for battle together.
Samurai Code of Comedy: You Can Never Master a Joke
A joke is never finished. Much like a warrior never masters a form or technique a comedian is never finished with a joke. One can always change the wording, add tags, move in different directions. As the joke grows and changes, so will the comedian. If a warrior becomes too confident in his skills but never expands, he will be defeated; the same outcome waits for the comedian who does not continually work on his act.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Why I would be an awesome Jedi
I am kind of tired right now, but I want to do some writing. Last night Nick Allen and I were having a talking and writing session. I wanted to talk about Star Wars a bit, because I don't understand why no one would fight dirty. I mean, I understand why a Jedi would follow a more honorable way of fighting, but the Sith are just idiots if they don't use the Force to their advantage. The main example of this is Force push. If you can pick up something with your mind, it stands to reason that you can crush the same thing. Or at least squeeze it. Darth Vader proved that with his Force choke when he strangled people who we was talking with on the telecom (read video phone). So why wouldn't you just sword fight someone and force crush their balls? Seriously, you want to swing a laser sword at me? I don't think so, that's dangerous. I'm just going to crush your balls. WITH MY MIND!
Ok if you want to give someone a fighting chance (pun intended) them I guess you could leave the jewels alone, but you could always just use your telekinesis to stop their sword in midair. I mean, how hard would that be to stop a person's arm when you just got done lifting an X-Wing (with your mind) while standing on one arm (with help from your mind).
I guess my argument loses a little bit of momentum because 1) we're talking about science fiction and 2) no one ever really details how Force manipulation works. I mean when you look at telekinesis, in my mind there are two schools of use: I look at it like motor skills. Say you're a Jedi and you can lift an X-Wing with your mind, can you clean your ears with a Q-Tip with your mind? I mean, are you just strong with the Force, or can you exercise a little bit of finesse? Because if you can paint some happy little trees across the room with a floating paint brush, that would be kind of cool. Granted, you'd probably want to be able to see your palate and your canvas, but still.
While we're talking about people not using their Force powers to their full potential; I want to mention flying. Flying would be the ultimate cooperation of Gross and Fine Force Skills. You would have to be able to lift your weight (technically more, if you factor in that acceleration away from the ground would actually make you weigh more than you do) and control yourself.
You're a Jedi. And you want to fly. Where do you start. I mean, do you imagine a giant hand just picking you up and carrying you around? Something has to be holding you up. Do you just make little bitty things under your feet that you stand on and they lift you in the air? Ok, then what about flying forward, do you get parallel to the ground like Superman would, or not?
In my mind this is would be the scariest phrase a Jedi could hear: Flying Lightsaber. Yeah, imagine that stuff. You're fighting a bunch of droids on a planet or space ship somewhere and there's a Sith Lord somewhere around. Then out of nowhere a red light saber comes flying at you and starts swinging. It's like someone is holding it, the way it moves and strikes, but since no one is holding it, it never has to Parry or defend. How are you going to get out of this one? Use the force to find the guy and crush his balls? No siree, Bob. First you're too busy defending this crazy GD sword that has a mind of it's own to detect the Sith Lord, and second, you can't Force Crush his balls because it's against the Jedi Code and aliens of his race DON'T EVEN HAVE BALLS. So what are you gonna do now?
You know what would be a dirty trick? Turning off someone's light saber mid battle. I mean, it has to have an on/off switch somehow. Maybe it's a physical switch you flip light a light switch in your condo. Or maybe it's something inside that you have to flick WITH YOUR MIND. Who knows. But I bet it would be hilarious to do that in the middle of a battle. Like, you let your opponent think they're gonna win, and right as they swing down to cut you in half, you turn off their sword so they just stumble and almost fall over. Then you both laugh for a second because it's funny and then you CRUSH THEIR BALLS before cutting them in half. Also, you cut of their ear for your necklace.
You know what I hate? Droids. Why do the droids in the Star Wars galaxy all have IQs that approximate a human being's? Seriously, you have space ships and lazer swords and you can travel the speed of light, why would you limit how smart your computers can get? It just seems to me, it would be a lot easier if R2D2 could use his crazy processor speed (you know it's super fast, like way-beyond pentium (do you remember those? It was a 586 mhz processor like a decade ago, whoopidy doo!). Anyway, if R2D2 could just, I don't know, pilot the ship and drop some photon torpedoes to blow up the Death Star, so many lives would have been saved. But no, they have to use humans and aliens and stuff. I just thought of something, there were like NO ALIENS that fought with the Rebels. It was ll humans (with the exception of that one fish-looking General, he was cool).
I mean, they used droids as guards and stuff in the prequels, so why couldn't they just make a droid fly the ship. Or, here's an idea, make the ship autonomous. That would be good too. And did you ever notice that wifi isn't even an option in the Star Wars galaxy. Seriously, no one thought to have the computers use radio frequencies and stuff to communicate, you have to plug into the wall every time you need to stop a garbage compactor. Well, it's a good thing we brought our adapter kit...
Ok if you want to give someone a fighting chance (pun intended) them I guess you could leave the jewels alone, but you could always just use your telekinesis to stop their sword in midair. I mean, how hard would that be to stop a person's arm when you just got done lifting an X-Wing (with your mind) while standing on one arm (with help from your mind).
I guess my argument loses a little bit of momentum because 1) we're talking about science fiction and 2) no one ever really details how Force manipulation works. I mean when you look at telekinesis, in my mind there are two schools of use: I look at it like motor skills. Say you're a Jedi and you can lift an X-Wing with your mind, can you clean your ears with a Q-Tip with your mind? I mean, are you just strong with the Force, or can you exercise a little bit of finesse? Because if you can paint some happy little trees across the room with a floating paint brush, that would be kind of cool. Granted, you'd probably want to be able to see your palate and your canvas, but still.
While we're talking about people not using their Force powers to their full potential; I want to mention flying. Flying would be the ultimate cooperation of Gross and Fine Force Skills. You would have to be able to lift your weight (technically more, if you factor in that acceleration away from the ground would actually make you weigh more than you do) and control yourself.
You're a Jedi. And you want to fly. Where do you start. I mean, do you imagine a giant hand just picking you up and carrying you around? Something has to be holding you up. Do you just make little bitty things under your feet that you stand on and they lift you in the air? Ok, then what about flying forward, do you get parallel to the ground like Superman would, or not?
In my mind this is would be the scariest phrase a Jedi could hear: Flying Lightsaber. Yeah, imagine that stuff. You're fighting a bunch of droids on a planet or space ship somewhere and there's a Sith Lord somewhere around. Then out of nowhere a red light saber comes flying at you and starts swinging. It's like someone is holding it, the way it moves and strikes, but since no one is holding it, it never has to Parry or defend. How are you going to get out of this one? Use the force to find the guy and crush his balls? No siree, Bob. First you're too busy defending this crazy GD sword that has a mind of it's own to detect the Sith Lord, and second, you can't Force Crush his balls because it's against the Jedi Code and aliens of his race DON'T EVEN HAVE BALLS. So what are you gonna do now?
You know what would be a dirty trick? Turning off someone's light saber mid battle. I mean, it has to have an on/off switch somehow. Maybe it's a physical switch you flip light a light switch in your condo. Or maybe it's something inside that you have to flick WITH YOUR MIND. Who knows. But I bet it would be hilarious to do that in the middle of a battle. Like, you let your opponent think they're gonna win, and right as they swing down to cut you in half, you turn off their sword so they just stumble and almost fall over. Then you both laugh for a second because it's funny and then you CRUSH THEIR BALLS before cutting them in half. Also, you cut of their ear for your necklace.
You know what I hate? Droids. Why do the droids in the Star Wars galaxy all have IQs that approximate a human being's? Seriously, you have space ships and lazer swords and you can travel the speed of light, why would you limit how smart your computers can get? It just seems to me, it would be a lot easier if R2D2 could use his crazy processor speed (you know it's super fast, like way-beyond pentium (do you remember those? It was a 586 mhz processor like a decade ago, whoopidy doo!). Anyway, if R2D2 could just, I don't know, pilot the ship and drop some photon torpedoes to blow up the Death Star, so many lives would have been saved. But no, they have to use humans and aliens and stuff. I just thought of something, there were like NO ALIENS that fought with the Rebels. It was ll humans (with the exception of that one fish-looking General, he was cool).
I mean, they used droids as guards and stuff in the prequels, so why couldn't they just make a droid fly the ship. Or, here's an idea, make the ship autonomous. That would be good too. And did you ever notice that wifi isn't even an option in the Star Wars galaxy. Seriously, no one thought to have the computers use radio frequencies and stuff to communicate, you have to plug into the wall every time you need to stop a garbage compactor. Well, it's a good thing we brought our adapter kit...
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Samurai Code of Comedy: Learn from your Masters
Every warrior needs a master or a teacher. It is always easier to learn from someone else's example, especially the fundamentals. Comedians may have a harder time finding a mentor, but one way to benefit from professional comedians is by attending professional shows. Once you have established yourself as a new comedian, one should consider going to the club to catch a show on the weekend. It is smart to find out the club's policy on attending shows in advance; some clubs encourage their open mic comics to attend professional shows and do not charge a cover to attend (again, it is advisable to find out their stance on this prior to showing up to avoid appearing presumptuous). Another benefit to attending professional shows is being seen at the club. If the staff, manager or booker see you at the club, this may help you seem more legitimate as a comedian. Many try to pass themselves off as comedians after getting on stage a minimal amount of times, putting forth effort will help you appear more serious about comedy.
While at a professional show, watch how the pros work. Pay attention to the laughter. When it is at its peak, the comedian becomes silent, when the laughter starts to subside, then the comedian begins his next bit. Timing is a an important element to comedy. Timing can make or break any joke.
While at a professional show, watch how the pros work. Pay attention to the laughter. When it is at its peak, the comedian becomes silent, when the laughter starts to subside, then the comedian begins his next bit. Timing is a an important element to comedy. Timing can make or break any joke.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Samurai Code of Comedy: On questions
One should avoid asking questions on stage if they are in a setup of a joke. “Do you guys like blank?” Asking an audience question gives them the option to answer verbally (which can take the attention away from you and disrupt the show) and it allows them to form an opinion on that subject and possibly get lost in their own thought, even for a second. “No, I don't like blank, I actually haven't thought of blank in so long I forgot about it. Why is everyone laughing; what did I miss” thinks an audience member.
Do not let the audience think that you are talking about something just because they approve of it. You are in control. By not asking a question, you can avoid finding out in advance if an audience doesn't want material on a certain topic. What if you ask "Do you guys like rock climbing?" and no one does? Do you do the rock climbing material? Because now the audience knows that no one is interested in rock climbing. Instead say "I like rock climbing" or take the opposite approach "I do not like rock climbing". By writing a set free of questions, a comedian shows that s/he is in charge.
Do not let the audience think that you are talking about something just because they approve of it. You are in control. By not asking a question, you can avoid finding out in advance if an audience doesn't want material on a certain topic. What if you ask "Do you guys like rock climbing?" and no one does? Do you do the rock climbing material? Because now the audience knows that no one is interested in rock climbing. Instead say "I like rock climbing" or take the opposite approach "I do not like rock climbing". By writing a set free of questions, a comedian shows that s/he is in charge.
Samurai Code of Comedy: On time
I want to write a book about open mic comedy, and for whatever reason I want to model it after the hagakure.
On Time:
Each performer gets a designated amount of time to perform; typically newer comedians get less time because they have less experience and less material. It is very important to stick to your time because doing so shows that you respect the other comedians and you know your place in the community. If a comedian goes long; that could potentially bump another comedian off the list for that night; or if one is not doing well yet they continue for too long the audience might grow uninterested (which makes it harder for other comedians). As always, a comedians goal is to make the audience laugh and to get invited back to the show. A good way to do that is to stick to your time.
On Time:
Each performer gets a designated amount of time to perform; typically newer comedians get less time because they have less experience and less material. It is very important to stick to your time because doing so shows that you respect the other comedians and you know your place in the community. If a comedian goes long; that could potentially bump another comedian off the list for that night; or if one is not doing well yet they continue for too long the audience might grow uninterested (which makes it harder for other comedians). As always, a comedians goal is to make the audience laugh and to get invited back to the show. A good way to do that is to stick to your time.
Saturday, February 06, 2010
COmedy ClUb ON StaTe
Last night was my first night emceeing at the Comedy Club on State. It was Friday and we had two shows, 8:00 and 10:30. The club staff at the club is really cool. I drove in from Omaha and it only took around seven hours, which was good because I had to drive really slow just out of Omaha because of the weather. When I got into town, I went to the hotel and parked outside so I could check in. Apparently I parked in a handicapped spot because when I got back to my car, I had a one hundred dollar ticket waiting for me on my windshield. So that sucked. But, the way I look at it, I now have even more incentive to make this weekend count.
The club is auditioning me to see if they want me to come back and feature, and so I am trying to make sure I bring my A-game and also stay behaved with the staff. During the first show, Joe was doing the off stage announcements and he said all the comics' names and their credits and I went on stage after my name. But he was just saying our names, so I wasn't supposed to be there. So when he was done, I said into the mic "Thought I'd show up early to work for once". I don't think anyone remembered it after the show. Except me. And my tens of blog readers.
The first show was good, I started out with a little crowd work with birthdays and such. It was kind of fun, I moved into my first joke pretty quickly and my set was alright. The second show was really good, I switched up my material because I want to show I have more than 10 minutes. After the show, I hung with the staff at the Silver Dollar for a bit and had a good time. Today I'm at the hotel, which is freakin' sweet. I plan on writing and working on my taxes. Yeah, you're jealous.
The club is auditioning me to see if they want me to come back and feature, and so I am trying to make sure I bring my A-game and also stay behaved with the staff. During the first show, Joe was doing the off stage announcements and he said all the comics' names and their credits and I went on stage after my name. But he was just saying our names, so I wasn't supposed to be there. So when he was done, I said into the mic "Thought I'd show up early to work for once". I don't think anyone remembered it after the show. Except me. And my tens of blog readers.
The first show was good, I started out with a little crowd work with birthdays and such. It was kind of fun, I moved into my first joke pretty quickly and my set was alright. The second show was really good, I switched up my material because I want to show I have more than 10 minutes. After the show, I hung with the staff at the Silver Dollar for a bit and had a good time. Today I'm at the hotel, which is freakin' sweet. I plan on writing and working on my taxes. Yeah, you're jealous.
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