inspirational speeches

Last night Ricky Guitierrez was at the writing work shop. Ricky's a really good writer and has a lot of tools and tricks to help pull large amounts of material from a subject to really get a basis for a joke. We did this one rapid fire "round table" exercise, and I didn't feel like I was contributing very much. The point was to say what came to your mind first, but all of my input was bland and kind of logical.

I tried to workshop the Disney stuff that I came up with a couple months ago, but the suggestions didn't really take me where I see the joke going. It's such an odd thing talking about something that happened so long ago...

At Lloyd and Harry's I emceed, and had a decent set. I wanted to work on the Blackname, Radiation and Seminary jokes again, but forgot the Radiation one and ended up doing some other random stuff including one request for my Tetris joke.

I'm on at the Bone tonight, at the Forum both tomorrow and Thursday (for the competition) and featuring in Mason City this weekend. I don't think I will have been on stage this much in one week ever. Rock on.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

Visit RooftopComedy.com. Watch videos. Laugh. Feel warm and fuzzy.

follow that

Thursday night I had a really good set. I went up about 8th or so, and had an absolute blast despite the smallish crowd. I am still working on my black name joke, and round a way to go from the black things about me to the really white things about me. My seminary joke is working pretty well, which is exciting, and I signed up for a competition at the Comedy Forum Thursday. I'm also featuring this weekend in Mason City, which will be a lot of fun. I like the guys up there, and it'll be a good chance to try out my newer stuff in front of paying audiences.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

Visit RooftopComedy.com. Watch videos. Laugh. Feel warm and fuzzy.

on tape-on cue

I had a good set at Lloyd and Harry’s last night. I tried out a couple newish jokes and had good time. Most everyone had a good set, which is odd because the crowds and L&H’s are typically rough and talkative. I busted out a new joke about my visit to the Hospital for my CT scan, which got good laugh. Nikki Glaser gave me a really good tag for it, and I only mention it so I won’t forget it (and because I know she has Google Alerts). My highschool-seminary joke hit just right last night, as did the joke about my name. I’m pretty excited as it seems like a while without getting any “keepers”. Chris Schlichteen was at the workshop and the show (he was also at the Midnight Special) and said he’d be at the Bone tonight. He’s pretty funny. No word if he has the Google Alerts…

Anyway, Bone tonight, BS Bar and Grill Wednesday (on St. Charles Rock Road) and the Improv Jam at Laughs (not sure which I’m going to yet). Laughs Thursday.

Risk this weekend. Ukraine is not weak.

3 times the Laughs

This weekend I emceed at Laughs on the Landing. Friday's show had a fair-sized audience. Clayton Champagne was featuring for Billy Rae Bauer and Nikki Glazer did a guest set. My set was alright, but I didn't falter while doing the announcements and that is a major victory in my book. Saturday's show was awesome and I felt like I completely lit the stage on fire. Mike Howington did well during his guest set and Clayton Champagne had a really good set except for a drunk jerk in the front row who had to make a phone call during the show. Clayton stopped his set and started messing with the guy, who didn't really appreciate it. I had to talk to the guy to make sure he didn't repeat the call. Apparently that guy was calling to check on his son. Besides he was helping the show, and if Clayton messes with him, he was going to mess with Clayton, especially since that guy is really funny and none of the performers so far were good anyway. At this point, a very ugly old and fat woman got out of her seat in this guy's row and sat down. She politely told me that if there was a problem, they could get their money back and leave. I was just finishing up with the other dude, so I didn't do much to disagree with her. Aside from that little incident, the show was cool.
Near the end of it, Ray (a bartender at Laughs) and Charles (the owner) asked that I "steamroll" into the Midnight Special (the extended-set show featuring local open mic-ers). I brought up Josh Arnold who hosted and he took the show from there. I ended up closing out the Special, and my set was alright, not the best. But since I'm trying to be more optimistic, I'm chalking it up in the "win" column because I figured out how to re-set my Black-name joke. There were a couple of black guys in the audience, and they really liked the joke, so I'm pretty excited about that. One weird part is there was a blind guy in the audience first show and he loved my blind skier joke. Yay me.

Unexpected success

Last night at Laughs was the debut of One Handsome Man, a sketch comedy show that Warren Arnold, Sam Martin, Janine Brito and I are putting together. We had a combination of about eight or nine sketches and bumps (very small sketches, sometimes without actors). It was pretty cool and we’re already working on ways to expand and use more of the resources we have available (like a giant TV). The show was a lot of fun, though I don’t feel like I contributed a lot to the writing; but I’m planning on helping out a lot more and actually writing some sketches of my own.
At nine, as per usual, was the Cocktail Hour Open Mic. I wasn’t completely prepared and I admittedly haven’t been writing a whole lot lately. The internet is really distracting when I am at home and I have little will power when it comes to MySpace and Puzzle Pirates. I did try out a new joke about the seminary; it combines both the reason why I am not good with women and clergy molestation. That probably deserves an explanation at the very least. I lived in a seminary for all 4 years of my high school career, and in May of 2002 it closed. There were allegations of “misconduct”, which made the papers. Though this did not happen directly to me, it happened in part of my world. And I feel I have as much (if not more) right to bring up that topic than another comedian (unless they were directly involved in said misconduct). It’s tough, though, doing it in a clean manner, and a non-graphic (hopefully) non-offensive one. But last night I got my joke out, and it worked. I didn’t see that coming.
Gabe Kea and Nikki Glaser both had great things to say about my stage presence last night; with a small(er) crowd, they were really impressed that I was so conversational. Nikki said I should find whatever I did last night and bottle it.

Not on the menu

The Funnybone had it’s Christmas/Holiday staff party last night; so there wasn’t an open mic. So Nikki, Gabe, Clayton, Janine and I went to Novak’s, a gay bar on Manchester a little east of Kingshighway. Clayton got there first, then myself, then Nikki and Gave and finally Janine. Novak’s was doing a music open mic, which are notoriously hard for comedy as people aren’t in “pay attention” mode. Before Janine showed up, we were discussing order; none of us wanted to go up first, so we wrote numbers on paper and picked. Gabe got number one, I got four. I forget what Clayton and Nikki got. Anyway, eventually I decided to go first and then we’d just relay-race style bring people up; only not tell who was next until we called their name. That’s just fun to me, plus I was going first, so I wanted to “get back” at the others…

My set was alright, afterwards one guy said I was expletively funny. I did say sh-- twice on stage. Gabe went up after me, and some drunk lady was heckling him. I felt bad because in that situation, he really couldn’t win; if he chose not to respond with counter-heckling (which he did), people would be like “you’re a comedian, be funny” (which they did). On the other hand, if he came back with something clever and insulting; he’d just be a jerk. During Claton’s set, the audience really paid attention. It was pretty cool to watch; I just I wish they would have done that for me. Nikki disappointed the audience when she told them she was straight, and did some stuff I hadn’t heard before. One of the bartenders recognized her from the Bone, and said she was really funny. He even said that before she went on stage, so that was pretty cool. The funniest (I’m a jerk)/worst (but a sympathetic jerk) part came when Janine was on stage, and some dude kept punching/interrupting her jokes with words like Spamburgers and Fartburgers. The dude was either drunk or English wasn’t his first language. Possibly both.

Anyway, the lady running the open mic, Celia, was glad we came to the show, and called us Funny Boners. That was worth the trip, in my opinion. It was a pretty cool deviation from the norm, though I’m looking forward to having a “comedy club audience” next Tuesday.

 

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

Visit RooftopComedy.com. Watch videos. Laugh. Feel warm and fuzzy.

 

lyrics in lowercase italics

(Band – Track)

 

They make me smile

I'm getting lazy. I found out that with a "signature" I can post from my email and make it look pretty close to if I logged on to www.blogger.com and typed one out the old fashioned way. I'm at home now (with internet, yay!) and I could log into blogger, but I won't. Lazy.

Last night at Lloyd and Harry's I tried some old darker material out for grins. It didn't work and I was kind of bummed, but then I realized I was trying a completely new approach (one that I don't really think fits with my on-stage personality) for like 2 minutes. Of course it wasn't going to work. I didn't even practice it. After I realized that, I kind of got a little happier. Tonight since the Bone is closed again, some of us are going to Novak's, a local gay bar that does a music open mic. Janine and I have performed there before, and so has Clayton. It should be kind of cool.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

Visit RooftopComedy.com. Watch videos. Laugh. Feel warm and fuzzy.

 

So what went wrong?

Was it me that let you down again?

(Dirty Vegas – Simple Things Part 2)

Saturday blog

Saturday's show was awesome. We literally had a hundred (or more) people in the audience. I think I'm lowballing it a bit, because the floor of the Castle was at least 90% full. I don't know if I did anything different (it's now Monday, so I can't remember) but I had a great set. I went over my time a bit, but not one mentioned it to me and Buzz said I did well. Anyway, Bloomington was a good time, and I'm hoping to get back up there by summer time.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

Visit RooftopComedy.com. Watch videos. Laugh. Feel warm and fuzzy.

We're well qualified to represent the LBC

(Sublime – Doin' Time)

Comedy on Demand

Last night I performed in Bloomington, IL with Buzz Nutley at the Funnybone. We didn't have much of a crowd, but I felt that I did alright. After the show, I got a couple compliments, which was pretty cool. Apparently there was some "drama" in Bloomington, where the guy who owns the Castle Theater (where the Funnybone is now located) wanted to close it down. So a bunch of people probably figured it was closed and therefore didn't show up for Friday's show. Hopefully tonight will have a bigger crowd.
I worked on my skiing stuff some more; it's coming along well, I think. But every time I do it, I think of another "improvement" or change I want to try, but I don't always remember when I am actually on stage.
Today, I played Puzzle Pirates almost all day in my hotel room; they let me check out at 5:30pm, which was cool because I didn't have to wander around town, spend money at the movies and get bored in the mall. I googled the library in Bloomington earlier this week because they have free wireless. But my hotel was way better because I didn't have to shower until around 4:00. They might not have appreciated that at the Library.
I'm trying to reorganize my set so that I can get away with stuff a little bit more. Last night I closed with my bad-with-women material; but I want that earlier so that people can see that side of me. I'm thinking if I follow that with the porn stuff, people will follow along. If I do the dating stuff up front, I'll probably have to close with my Sams club stuff (in longer sets), as the "Bloody mess" tag is one of my favorite (and in my opinion punchiest) lines.

No more PBR

I think I need to change my attitude; last night, more than a few people told me I had good set. When the first couple people told me, I didn’t really agree; I mean it felt fine, but that was it. Fine. I shoot for a lot higher than that. (In this next sentence, “congratulate” is not the right word, so for lack of a better word, I’ll use “praise”) But as people kept praising me, I started to agree with them. Two really fun things happened last night on stage; one I got on stage and paused in silence. I kind of let my excitement for my set show in my facial expressions. It was neat. I also sold my opening bit (the blind skier joke I’m working on) better than Tuesday.¹ There’s still work to be done; but there is progress. I did my coming out joke, and kind of screwed it up, and I called myself out on it; which kept the crowd with me. I wasn’t trying to be funny, I was trying to be honest. I think that showed (of course, not being in the audience, I only have my memory and voice recorder to rely on for proof). Next I did a joke about current events in my life. It was kind of goofy, and I told the audience that it actually happened this week, unlike the ski joke, which I’ve been telling for years. Then I likened myself to a magician giving away his secrets. That was the second “fun” thing, I was kind of improvising in the moment, and I enjoyed it. I wasn’t thinking about my set, jokes, actions or anything. Tonight I’ll be in Bloomington, IL. Tomorrow I’ll be at the public library mooching internet and playing Yohoho Puzzle Pirates.

Silence is 70 miles per hour (Saves the Day – Shoulder to the Wheel)

Better than Tuesday would make a good candidate for a CD title.

I felt bad for what he was doing to that dog, though...

Last night at the Bone I really wanted to work the newness¹ on my skiing joke and I wanted to get as much practice as possible in before my Bloomington trip this weekend. Thankfully Matt threw me up, and I did a less than three. Clayton later told me the new approach on the blind skier does have potential, but that since it was new, it lacked confidence and he did like some of the older things I used to do with it. Before I fell asleep last night, I though of some lines to use. I don’t remember them, but I recorded them on my DVR; hopefully when I listen to them later, they’ll make sense and be funny. Between Comedy and Karaoke last night, I got to talk to Brian Dowell about stage presence. I think that’s the one thing I’m most worried about that I can’t consciously work on. For starters, I hate the sound of my voice on stage. I can’t do anything about that, though. Second, I guess: I don’t talk onstage the way I talk offstage. Brian said he doesn’t either, and that there’s nothing wrong with that. It just takes a while to like the style/voice you use. I’ve known that for a while, it’s just hard to accept. The one thing I want more is “command”. You can tell when people like Greg Warren walk on stage, people pay attention. I don’t mean like they’re glued immediately or that they stare like a car crash, but they pay more attention off the bat. I want that. Brian suggested a not-talking-immediately strategy. We covered something like that in improv, that sometimes if you don’t have anything ready to say, just stick to silence and let your body and physical self dictate what’s going on. I really want to try that tomorrow and this weekend. If I can show my “excitement” or as Brian put it, they way I’m excited/proud of things most people would be proud/excited about (getting dumped, seeing a blind guy skiing ETCETERA) before I start talking about it, the audience will be closer to knowing where I’m at when I do begin talking.

¹ I’m just making up words and grammar now…

Long live Wenting

Last night, John Doelling had some good advice about not giving up in front of small crowds. Sometimes during open mic, a comic will get up in front of a small crowd and decide it doesn’t matter because no one’s watching. But John pointed out that small crowds are a chance to break out the “A game” and whip them into a frenzy. If one is able to do that, it really shows their skills. Plus, John told us, people from other clubs are watching us on RooftopComedy.com and so even if we don’t have a big “live studio audience” the viewers at home should get a good show too. Especially if they have power and can book us.

That being said, I went up at Lloyd and Harry’s last night to a smaller crowd and tried to rework some of my skiing joke. Somewhere in my set the entire Greek Council from Lindenwood came in to celebrate some girl’s birthday. I probably got a little flustered, but I tried my best and plowed through. Sadly, I don’t think I pulled out the best material I had, though (sometimes I forget what I have available) and so I wasn’t able to grab their attention. I think I’m missing something, maybe stage presence. Then again, I think UT1 I think too much and I should just enjoy the stage time. Maybe that would help. (there I go thinking again…)

¹ UT: Latin subjunctive meaning “that”

New Year's Eve Show, I wore a tie

Sunday, we did a New Year's Eve Show at Laughs on the Landing. It was pretty cool, Mike Howington, Kevin White, myself, Mikey Manker, Joe Hartenstein, Brian Dowell and Josh Arnold each did some time, and the crowd was pretty responsive. I did about 11 minutes total, and wanted to do more but couldn't think of anything else to do. I did my skiing, dating, porn and work jokes but completely forgot to do my drinking material; which could have kept me on stage for a couple minutes longer. As it turned out, though I had a really good set and enjoyed myself.

B-26

Last night I met with Warren Arnold at Laughs to work on some sketch ideas for a sketch show he wants to put together. I didn’t know it walking in, but that might be a good place to finally to the “commercials” for my website that I never made. I had a couple of (good, I think) ideas that didn’t really advertise my site, so much as they showed something funny and they showed my website address. I’m trying to get into as much performance-based stuff (aside from Stand up) as I can to help build my “tool chest”, maybe it will show me different ways to think so I can become a stronger writer.

My set last night was alright; I worked on the Gay Gifts joke (or whatever I’m calling it now) and a joke about my quitting smoking (again). I wasn’t necessarily pleased with my set, but I’m usually not, unless I kill; I should probably ease up on myself a bit, but that likely won’t happen. Rob Durham gave me a good piece of advice about how the punch lines (of mine) that get the most consistent laughs are the ones from my perspective. They have that “Marcus” spin (or whatever) on them.

I’d like it if my Blind Skier joke had a punch earlier in the joke, as I really want people “on board” when I get to the “so I took it when he wasn’t looking” part.

Colorful and long

Last night was easily one of the worst comedy nights I’ve had in recent memory. The list got posted and each name had a number next to it, indicating how much time each comic would get. My name was on the list (which is good) with a 3. First, three minutes is better than zero minutes, but I had already decided to work on both my Seminary and Gay Christmas bits. I was second on the list, John Doelling emceed and Nikki Glaser proceeded me. And then it was my turn. I ended up breaking my two cardinal open mic rules, the first of being ‘never open with a new joke’ and the second ‘never have an open mic set with greater than 50% new material’1. Those are my rules, and I tend to follow them for specific reasons. Other guys don’t agree with those rules or follow them, and that’s fine. They’re my rules, and it’s not like I enforce them…

Anyway, I got on stage and started off with my seminary stuff, which I admit does not have the best lead-in available; so I’m probably a little clumsy getting into it. I went from that to my Gay Christmas stuff, which actually got a couple laughs (literally, two). And then as if to save myself, I did my blind skier joke (knowing full well that there was a blind guy in the audience (the front row, to be exact)) which is coupled with my one-legged skier joke (guess what? There were three people in wheel chairs in the audience, too). It’s not as if I think those jokes are offensive, it’s not like I even make fun of the blind skier, I just mention the fact that he exists, and has cool “accessories”. Anyway, I get off stage and am swarmed by comics asking if I knew about the blind guys and wheelchair-bound. That’s not what really bothered me; what really bothered me is I’m kind of Obsessive compulsive and I didn’t know how much time I did (plus I didn’t get it recorded on my DVR to see how I delivered my set). So I didn’t know how long Andy Faasen was on stage by the time I got settled.

OK, that’s a little weird, and if that were the main reason I had a bad night last night, I would agree and say I am overreacting. It’s not even that the jokes I tried, jokes that have taken me at least a month to get out, got no laughs. I’m alright with that, it just means that I need to work more. The final straw was when some guy did a joke about taking dump on some girl’s chest. And the crowd lost it.

Now “lost it” may be a bit of an over-exaggeration, but they might as well have just given the guy a standing ovation and a parade. Seriously, a dump-on-the-chest joke? I told Paul Harris I was quitting stand up. And I should, why would I want to put for the effort, work clean, reveal myself and my flaws to countless strangers, just so someone can hypothetically defecate on a girl’s torso and get more laughs than me. It’s not even like he really has crapped on a girl’s chest. He just says he wants to. If he actually did it, I wouldn’t be so upset because that would be putting forth some work for the sake of the joke. That’s really what I’m getting at, I think…

Obviously, I’m not quitting comedy, it’s just frustrating; after the show, I headed straight home to cool off (I played Ecco the Dolphin for Sega Genesis). I’m trying to quit smoking (again) and that type of frustration is exactly what leads to me lighting-up. So I didn’t even get to hang out at Back Street with the other comics. On the plus side, I slept really well and had a dream about a really pretty red-head who asked me to the movies.

¹ My Cardinal Rules explained: “never open with a new joke” – I try not to open with new jokes because I could fumble over them and make the rest of my set unnecessarily difficult. “Never have an open mic set with greater than 50% new material” – If the material isn’t all worked out, or I’m not comfortable with it, I may not be “doing well” and the audience might not be “warmed up” to me. In such a case, you can’t really tell what new material has potential. If the same material had been slipped in to a good set, it might have been received in a better manner