Bogied the gimme

Tonight I was at the Comedy Forum. The show was really good, though I wasn't happy with my set; I wanted to show Kevin White some of my new material since I haven't seen him in quite a while. Honestly, that's probably too much new, weird material to do in a single set, but I took my set's Saturday night really seriously and I have a good idea of what I'll be doing in Milwaukee this week, so I don't mind not-practicing tonight.

The best part of my set; I got a great tag for my Shampoo joke. It'll probably find it's way into my normal set, especially if I'm not getting the reaction I want from that joke. Woot.

I keep forgetting to blog

I keep forgetting to blog, or rather, I get too distracted. On the bright side, I remember what I wanted to write about from Saturday's shows: I did well. It was nice to kill after Friday's not-to-great set o' mine. The first show was literally sold out and I had a great time, I think I found the ten minute set I want to use in Milwaukee (oh yeah, I'm working with Pat Dixon then, I haven't worked with him since March of '05 so I'm really excited). The second show Saturday was pretty good too, I got some more clips for the montage thanks to Patrick.
Tonight's show at the Fairview Heights Funny Bone was great. Due to some weird mood I was in, I went on stage and basically aimed at attacking the audience. My fat jokes kind of "angered" a couple people, but then I got them with my smoking jokes, then I'd piss them off with another fat joke, but get them with something else. My favorite part was when I did my shampoo joke; few people laughed at it, so I said "You guys are either stupid or not paying attention". I think my bluntness on stage conveyed some weird confidence and I had a good time and closed strong.

I should know better by now

Last night I was at the Comedy Forum with Wild Bill Bauer and Patrick Ryan; the first show went really well; but the second show didn't exactly go the way I wanted. Between the shows I was talking to some regulars and they said they were happy to hear some new jokes from me. I told them they should come into the second show and I'd do a bunch of new stuff. I asked a group of about seven "kids" (early twenties) if they wanted smart jokes or dumb jokes. By smart jokes, I meant my Math, Chemistry and Spelling jokes. They said smart, and sadly I tried to deliver.
Second show Friday is not the time or the place to try the weird stuff. You'd think I'd know that by now...
Anyway, the show got off to a bumpy start and I totally forgot that Dan Walsh was doing a guest spot, and at the end of the show I wasn't in the room when Wild Bill finished his set, which was embarrasing. It was not my best showing. I'm hoping tonight will be better, I'd pretty confident it will be.

Learning experience

Last night I emceed at the Comedy Forum for Wild Bill Bauer and Patrick Ryan. I learned was really excited to play with my new "Local joke" stuff and I learned something about my 10 minute set; that stuff should go near the middle/end. The audience just wasn't ready for it in the first three minutes. Throughout my entire set, the audience was a little stingy with the laughs; but I maintained and (to my knowledge) didn't show any frustration. The audience continued acting this way through Patrick's and Bill's sets, which is unfortunate because they're both really funny.
I'll probably use tonight and tomorrow to find the combination of jokes I want to use in Milwaukee next week. I really want to make sure I do well there because I do NOT want to get bumped BACK down to Announcer.

It's because I'm busy and tired

I'm getting a little to lax with the ol' blogging; Monday's show at the Forum was alright, I emceed but really didn't want to (it was just a lack of options) and since we started late and had a small crowd, I went from everyone doing different amounts of time based on their "skill" and/or quality of jokes to a flat 4 four minute time frame. At the beginning of the show, I tried to bring everyone on stage with some weird credit; like being the swashbuckling champion of Pittsburg in '87; but I ran out of ideas about 6 people in.
Last night's show at the Funny Bone was great; Paul Harris was organizing some event for VH1's Save the Music charity, and so a bunch of people that Paul knows came out. I had 1 coworker show up and he brought 2 people, so that was nice. My set went really well, my jokes about local jokes did well, and I was able to do about 8 bits or so in my 4 minute time (admittedly, I did go over a bit). I'm at the Forum this week and going back to Milwaukee next week. I'm going to try to use this week to find my best 10 minutes so I can impress JD and the guys. No point in going up there as the Opener only to get thrown back down to the Announcer position...

I think I got a little too angry at the audience last night at the Funny Bone. The crowd didn't seem to generous with the laughy-laughs. And so I looked at them with annoyance (more than once). After the show, Jake Baker told me not to take comedy too seriously. Initially I had no idea what he was talking about because comedy is just about the ONLY thing I take seriously... But he was talking about me getting mad on stage. I've never really thought about it, but I guess I do need to work on that. Because if I can still enjoy the bad sets during the bad sets, I think I'll be able to convert some audiences to my side.

Half off sale

Last night the crowd at Fairview Heights was awesome. From the beginning of my set, to the end I had a really good time. I got an applause break for my Black name joke, and tagged it on the fly with "If you're not laughing at that it's because you're either WITH a fat white girl or you ARE a fat white girl". Then during my smoking bit, I thanked the audience for not calling me a quitter and did an impromptu act-out where I was some lame-audience member saying they were funny for calling me (Marcus) a quitter. During my Quincy Snow Routes joke, I added a part where I immediately do a local reference, but I screwed it up a bit. (Tonight, I did it properly at the Comedy Forum, and it went over really well). I accidentally did my Nervous around cute girls joke last night which meant I did not have time for my new high school dedication joke. But I did get to do that one tonight, and I moved my Abraham Lincoln impression to that bit (instead of my Mia Wallace joke); Andy Faasen told me tonight when I nail the wording that joke will be amazing. He's already told me it's his favorite of mine, which is awesome since I think Andy's a great writer; so hearing a compliment like that really means something. Anyway, the crowd tonight at the Forum was alright; certainly not as great as it has been there. I asked people to move up to the front, and some did, but a bunch told me they would and just stayed where they were. Also for the first twenty seconds or so of my set, I just stared at a lady who was on the phone in the front row. I looked at a table that moved up front and said "I told you would I wouldn't pick on the audience, so I won't". I probably should have, but live and learn, I guess. We had nineteen comics at the Forum tonight, and we started late, so the show ran a little longer than I had hoped, but the audience, other comics and Al didn't seem to mind, so I won't stress over it.

misconstrueage

Last night I was on at the Funny Bone. I was hoping to have a better set that the last time I was there. My set Monday at the Forum was pretty good, and I wanted to work out some of the new jokes I've written lately. Anyway, I know the jokes are good, I'm confident in them. So I was able to be confident on stage. Sadly, the audience wasn't with me. I did one joke that I consider to be smart/clever (and funny) and they didn't get it, so I said "I did that joke in St Peters last night, and they got it..." A couple minutes and a few smart-jokes-that-went-unappreciated later I ended my set and said "that's it, I'm going back to St Peters" meaning, I'm going to where the crowd appreciates my material. Anyway, Dan the box-office guy thought I was bashing the Funny Bone, and I had to explain that I wasn't. I was bashing the audience. For being dumb. I recognize that sometimes the comic isn't delivering the jokes right (or he isn't delivering the right jokes) but last night was simply the audience. Or it was something I did to make God angry.

Laundry List

Tonight at the Comedy Forum, I did ten minutes (give or take a handful of seconds) and a bunch of it was new material. I did my joke about (the superscripted numbers reflect the newness of the joke (lower number = newer)):

-how I quit smoking, how my friend Justin quit smoking and how I got people to quit bumming cigarettes from me¹
-the weekly rates of the worst hotel in America¹
-why Emergency Snow Route signs are unnecessary in Quincy, IL (and why local jokes are funny)¹
-why being in a seminary might cause you to be an atheist and bad with women²
-why I'm not nervous around attractive girls³
-how to trick girls into taking off their pants by screaming²
-why I LOVE mozzarella sticks but like my girlfriend²
-how the girls on Match.com rejected me ² (where I proved how local references always work)
-why I think married couples should register for better stuff¹
-why you shouldn't name high schools after small town business men¹
-why my friend Doug thinks I should start drinking again²
-why girls act like teases and let people buy them drinks³

There may have been more in there, I tried watching my set (but I was distracted by Letterman). Sarah asked me if I get bored writing my blog after every show, and I told her that I wish I was able to be more Doogie Howser-ish. Meaning, I wish I could say what I learned, instead of just saying "tonight I was on stage, it was fun, I did this, that happened" etc.
That being said, I did a crap-ton of new material tonight, which gives a warm, tingly feeling inside or something. Having been in a weird writing slump and having watched all my peers come up with amazing stuff, it feels good to have something new to show.

Who's house?

Last night the first show at the Comedy Cafe started a little late; and so Dan, Carl and I all had our time cut a bit. And by a bit, I mean I had mine cut entirely. So when the show started, I just went up and did announcements; welcome to the show, turn off cell phones, keep the talky-talk down, happy birthday to this lady (at which point some lady in the front was like "we have birthdays too, pay attention to us" (I'm paraphrasing, of course). The lady also had the deepest, raspiest voice I've ever heard. Like Ned in Southpark, only without the mechanical larynx. (An interesting note to the story, the lady ended up being Scott Henry's aunt and she was disruptive during his set too). Anyway, I brought Dan up, and when I went up after his set, I had to announce the Gold Cards (people fill out contact information and someone gets their bar-tab payed for). I also had to announce someone else's birthday, since Chris told me to. So while I was on stage, I goofed off with that announcement a bit. I don't recall how it went exactly, but luckily since I was taping Carl's set so I could make him a DVD, I have it on video. I remember saying something like, "Next time I'm up here, I'll have another birthday to announce, or maybe I'll come up and we can celebrate Christmas three months late". No matter what I said, it was the only laughs I got that show.
The second show was much better, since I got to do some time; I did the same set I did Thursday and no one asked if they could dance on the tables or told me it was their birthday or anything, it was nice. After the show I hung out for a bit, talked to James and then went back to the condo to pack.
This morning I was supposed to catch a train to Chicago and then one to St Louis, but since I forgot about Daylight Savings, I missed my train by 1 minute. Literally, that's what the lady at the counter said. So now I get to wait for the next one, and I'll end up getting into St Louis around 11 tonight and completely missing the Fairview Heights open mic. It reminds me of the line in Dogma where Bartleby says "Your hard-on for smiting has prevented us from negotiating what should be the relatively simple matter of catching or staying on a bus."

Not all change is good

I did some major trimming last night during the announcements and it threw me a little off my game. I also tried doing a different set than Thursday, so that might have been a little to blame as well. I forgot an entire sentence or two in my skiing joke, and only realized it about half-way through the last part of the joke. I felt really dumb, but I think the audience just thought that they missed something; because when I got to the one-legged guy part they were back on board. After my set, Duke came up to me and told me he was watching me for Eric to see if I could handle the opening position. He asked how much time I had, and I told him, and he said he might trust me with about ten minutes if I was a little bit more animated. I told him to watch the second show and then see what he thought and he said he would. Hopefully whatever report he gives to Eric will be beneficial to me; as I'd really like to come back and have a chance to do more material.
The second show started and I made a couple more changes to the announcements (not mentioning the other comics on the bill) and when I did the cell phone/table conversations bit some lady asked if it was ok to dance on the tables. I shut her up in a couple of sentences, but she turned out to be kind of a pain throughout the whole show. Not a major pain, just an annoyance.

Thank you, electric blanket

11:13PM
Pre-show:
I'm at the Comedy Cafe in Milwaukee this week; getting here was a little strenuous: I had Sarah drop me off at the Amtrak station this morning at 1AM. Unfortunately, the station closes from 12:30AM to 3:30AM. So we took a nap in her car until about 4AM (my train was scheduled for 4:30). I slept on for most of the ride to Chicago, where I had a three hour lay-over. Luckily I killed some time by having lunch with Mikey Manker. The train ride from Chicago to Milwaukee was pretty quick and my cab-ride was pretty good. I took a nap and got up around 6.

The show:
Doing announcements at the Comedy Cafe doesn't leave a lot of room for material if you go verbatim off of the laminated card they have. I've been doing the announcements for a while, and was able to get through them pretty quick so I was able to get to my jokes pretty quick. I was only planning on doing my black-name joke and my smoking stuff, but I didn't see a light so I did my sober joke and my black-out material and I closed on my gay-bar story. My set went really well and I got some really big laughs. During my "I don't think that dog even exists, now he's in two jokes" line, I thought I heard the comics in the back laughing really loudly. My second favorite part of the night was when I brought up Dan on stage and said he was the 1987 Pittsburg Swashbuckling champion and when I brought James up and said he saved my life in Vietnam.

The opener this week is Dan Polydoris from Chicago, the feature is Carl Lee from Oregon and Scott Henry is headlining (the last time I was here, Scott was headlining). My buddy James Irving Berry stopped by and did a guest spot.
At the end of the show, I blanked on Dan's name so I said "keep it going for Scott Henry, Carl Lee... ... ... myself and that other guy". It was embarrassing, but the crowd was already getting out of their seats so no one but James noticed.
James and I talked about emceeing at the Cafe, and he said he trimmed the announcements (he isn't doing them verbatim) and moved the Gold-Card announcement to after his set. He said that doing that allowed him to do an additional minute or two up front.

Playing Around with jokes and mike stand

Tonight, I picked up Ken Canamore and we went to the Comedy Forum. They're doing the open mike on Mondays now. We got there a little early, and I didn't think we were going to have a show; but a then some people showed up. Then some more, and then some more. Since I've been serving at the Boathouse, I didn't mind asking the people to sit up close. It really helped the show, I think. Anyway, my set was pretty good, I'm working on a joke that kind of pokes fun at "local jokes", and I think my mozzarella sticks joke is coming along. I didn't get the laughs I wanted tonight, but I know what I did differently; so I think I know what I need to do. My gay bar joke got (probably) the best response I've ever gotten tonight, and I'm really happy with how I told it. Unfortunately, I slipped up and cursed a couple-three times, but I edited them out for the Youtube video (below).
I did a couple of things different for my montage, like actually looking at a cheat-sheet and working with the microphone still in the stand. It felt a little weird to work with the stand, but I think if I do it more sporadically, it'll feel more comfortable.

You don't skip school

I was borderline cocky on stage tonight. I did one of my seminary jokes and a hodge podge of other jokes. I was up near the end of the night, which was cool because they audience was already warmed up. I didn't watch most of the show, because I was working on my montage, which I ended up showing to several people. Everyone seemed to like it and Steve Poggi even offered to throw stuff at my head so that I could get more of a variety up in there. James Johann closed the show and, of course, did really well. Afterwards as I was leaving, I told him he had a good set and he acted like he remembered me. Nice.

New Material, Goofing Off and a 5 man show

600.

Mikey Manker, Myself, Josh Arnold, The Rev. Brian Dowell and Landon Meyer took the stage at the State room tonight in Quincy, IL. Mikey hosted and Landon closed the show, and Josh, Brian and I drew for our order (which I listed at the beginning of the previous sentence). The show was quite good, beforehand Mikey Landon and I were ridiculing the town for its various oddities (The Water Store, a Casket Discount store, etc) and all the things that I came up with found their way on stage. The crowd wasn't exactly "with me" the whole time, but I had a good time. Sadly, as my time got closer to being "up", my closer didn't get the huge uproarious applause I wanted, but (since I don't like going over my time) I bailed. I was a little disorientated at the beginning of my set, because I went up to the green room to grab a flashlight for Mikey and I heard him start introing me, so I had to make my way down stairs, through the lobby, across the room (stage left to stage right) and then to the stage. So then during the first couple minutes of my set, I had to ask Landon to turn on my camera, which was a weird way to stop the show.
After the show, I got in my car and drove home, because I have to work brunch tomorrow (which is fine with me, I'm still just happy to have a job).