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My boss at work is getting upset on how much we're using the internet to goof off, so I'm emailling this. Joey from Fairview Heights just called, and she needed a last minute MC at the Funny Bone this week. Of course, I accepted the spot, so I get to work this week too! This is turning out to be a really good day!

correction

Last week, I said that John Garrison's show at Louie's was on Thursday the 17th, but in fact it is tomorrow the 24th. Sorry for the confusion, hope to see some of you there!

avatar's are back!

Last night at the Funny Bone, the audience was pretty cool. I even had some coworkers show up, thanks to Shari and Andrew. I didn't get to the Bone too early, so I didn't really have a ton of time to prepare and write with Matt Wolff, because I was dumping about an hour's worth of video onto my computer. I really need to go through all my video and cut out my favorite versions of each bit, so I can guage how much time I have (and play with an order for a longer set). During the show, I talked a bit to Andi Smith about coming to work at Harry's some day in March or April. I asked who she enjoys working with (something Chris Speyrer said was good to do when planning a show) and Andi mentioned Brett Clawson. Add a little Joe Lehnig in that and Harry's is going to have one blue show. I'm kind of excited about that.

Now, as for stage time; I did a lot of "new" jokes last night, and I'm pretty happy with the results; however since I was last, Kevin Patterson said I might need to go long (one of the reasons I like going up last). Anyway I started with the new material (not always advisable), and I did some other planned material. Eventually I went into some material I hadn't planned on, and kind of screwed up the order of my ex-girlfriend jokes. For some reason, I am never satisfied with my set on stage, despite how the audience reacts; I can almost always find something wrong afterwards. I'm not sure if it's a good thing to be this critical, I'm kind of hoping that I remain a little strict so that I keepy myself in check.

Hello Jack Kerouac

This past weekend I was in Bloomington, IL at the Funny Bone that just recently opened-up there. I have to admit I did have some trouble finding it the first time, but that happens whenever I go someplace new. I arrived at around 6:20 friday night, the shows start at 7:30 and 9:30. Don Bassford, the owner, introduced himself and told me I'd be splitting the time (orinially I was told 10 to 15 minutes) with another Comedian, Greg Larson, Don reassured me that I would still be paid and put up in a hotel for the evening. The first show was really fun, I half-expected to have some trouble on stage (as generally that's how a week¹ starts for me). In this case, though, I did pretty well. I started with my Celebate by Popular Demand joke, and moved right into some x-girlfriend/fat jokes. After the show, Don came up to me and informed me that he had recieved some complaints from some plus-sized women, who said their weight was not their fault. He told me that he wasn't going to MAKE me change my material since I was a comedian, but that I should be careful. Naturally Don wanted his audience to enjoy themselves and come back. I really didn't know how to respond, on the one hand I'm a comedian (an artist, if you will) and my art is just that; mine. On the other hand, Don had money and I wanted money, so I told him I'd switch it around a bit. After all, you don't bite the hand that feeds you. So the next show, I start out with the Celebate by Popular Demand thing and went into the -girlfriend/fat jokes. However, this time I left out one of the jokes and move straight into jokes about how I looked. You know, having big ears and all. Anyway, it worked, and I pulled the attention off of fat people and onto myself, and so I kind of evened the playing field by making fun of myself. I continued to my skiing, spanish and work jokes.
One of the coolest things of the first night was when Billy D. Washington was on stage for the 7:30 saturday show he made reference to my "blackest thing about me" joke and actually said my first and last names. I hadn't even introduced myself to him yet. That made me feel really cool that the "blackest" joke had worked like that. Anyway, the entire weekend was amazing, the crowds were very cool, I've never had so many people come up to me and say that I did well and that they enjoyed my set. One guy actually said the word "set" too; I was impressed. Anyway, the entire weekend (except for my 2am drive home sunday morning) was incredible. The waitstaff, including Bill were super nice and fun to hang out with. I'm very happy and super lucky that my first trip "on the road" was so enjoyable.


¹week: Not the traditional Sunday to Saturday week, but a week of paid performances. Even though the shows may span only 2 or three days, I call it a week.

generic title #117

Last night, I had 12 people come see me at the Forum. The crowd was kind of harsh, but the majority of the comics I saw last night weren't very high energy. I haven't seen that many guys die since WWII. That's not intened to sound insulting; high vs. low energy is really a matter or style, or taste. However, sometimes more is better. There was also a ton of comics last night, I think I went up 17th around or after 10:00pm and there were probably 8 more after me. My set went pretty well, I mean I brought a lot of energy to the stage (I feel). I definately used new intonations and emphasis on some of my jokes; I also did a couple new jokes, like my ceiling fan joke, my female roommate joke, my telethon and royalty jokes and a couple others. I also did the skiing jokes, work jokes and my assorted dumped/fat jokes. I got it on tape, but don't know how much time I did. I did have to check my cheat sheet a couple of times, but only to make sure I included my newer jokes (the ones listed above). Tonight is John Garrison's show at Louie's in the Holiday Inn in St. Peters, MO.

more good news!!!

I recieved a phone call from Lisa (of the Springfield, IL Funny Bone) and she told me I owed her my right arm. I knew immediately what she meant as she was referring to a past conversation where I said I would give my right arm to work with Mark Lundholm when he is at the Springfield Funny Bone. Mark Lundholm is another bald white guy, and he's a recovering alcoholic and substance abuser, and also a very powerful motivational speaker. I saw Mark at the Westport FunnyBone months ago after I myself had quit drinking and his show was amazing, his presentation incredible, and his messege beautiful. I am super excited about working with him, the only problem is now I have to learn to write with my left hand, and I need to sell my guitar...

Bloomington Bound!

I just got a call from Tiffany in Springfield, IL. She has been present at some of the monthly contests at the Funny Bone there. She also books the Funny Bone in Bloomington, IL and wanted to know if I was clear this weekend. I looked at my calender and I am! So I'm going to Bloomington this weekend to work with Billy D Washington, whom I've seen on Comedy Central. I am pretty excited about the whole thing.

all I want for christmas

It may be 2 months past Christmas, but yesterday I got my brand new crowns for my upper front teeth. They feel a little weird, but they look really nice. Also I can eat apples again. This is a short post, but that's because I have to go sell myself into slavery to afford the dental bill.

I don't do windows.

Cookie's Jazz and More

Last night I was going to The White Leroy's hockey game; when Matt Wolff called and reminded me about a show Ali Hager was putting on. I told him I would be late because of the game, but would be there around 9. Leroy's team won 8-0 (All American has an 8 point mercy kill rule) 4 minutes into the 2nd period. So I got to Cookie's Jazz and More at about 8:30pm. The club was very classy, and probably would hold about 125 people or so. There were maybe 60 people in the audience, some of which left before I got on stage; the remaining people were a little self-soncious. I did maybe 5 to 7 including my skiing jokes (both blind skier and one-legged skier). After the show I was talking to Matt Wolff and Tim Heeley and a lady walked by on crutches; I didn't notice until she got outside, but she only had one leg (the right one, if you're curious). I felt pretty bad and pointed it out to the other comics. Tim Heeley offered some good advice, he said "People with disabilities know they are blind, or deaf, or whatever KNOW they are blind, deaf, or whatever; and chances are they're going to laugh at your joke. Unless they're deaf, because they probably didn't hear it.
I can't believe I typed that...complaints can be sent to Marcus@MarcusIsFunny.com.

Cafe au laughter

John Garrison told me about a show that was going on last night at the Legacy Cafe at 5249 Delmar Blvd. It was kind of a variety show, as there were a couple very talanted female singers; but it also had some comedians. The show was run by Don Clair and Divalicious, who let me do 5 to 7. I had a good set and the crowd really seemed to enjoy me. More than a couple people came up and complimented me. My friend, Christina Latina was there and we had a lot of fun. She is actually a pretty quick wit and a decent comedic writer. The show was scheduled for 9pm, but started a little late; so we didn't get out until late, but it was an awesome time and I fully intent to go to the next one. They do a show once a month I believe, and are sponsored in part by F.I.S.H (Friends in Social Harmony), their "vision is to teach all fathers/males in need to fish in life so they can feed themselves and their families for a lifetime".

free ipod!

OK, so this is kind of weak, but if anyone's interested in helping me get a free iPod (mine is broken), please click on this link and complete one of the offers. I currently need 5 people to do this, then free iPod for me!

Woo

Last night, Matt Wolff and I went over to Springfield; we left Westport and drove north on 270 and went into Illinois that way, instead of driving through the city. Much faster than the last way. We left early, at around 3:45, and we got to the club in Springfield early at about 10 to 6, I think. A guy named Jason got our names and collected our money, and pretty soon some other contestants showed up. We med a guy named Jared (spelling?) and a guy named Tom. Tom was actually at an Open Mic in Westport recently. There were 7 contestants in all; and before we started, we drew numbers, Wolff went up 3rd or 4th. I was scheduled for last. The show was pretty normal for Springfield, a handfull of audience members (15 at the most). My set was fun, I did the ceiling fan joke, female roommate, both skiing jokes (sans hooters) and my pharmacy and medical testing jokes. Also the fat jokes; can't forget about the fat jokes. Anyway, Wolff got third place, Jared, who had some good impersinations, got 2nd, and yours truly got first place and 35 whole american dollars.
Afterwards, a very nice lady named Lisa informed me she was now incharge of booking the openers; she wanted to ask if I was interested in working in April, I told her I was. The Springfield weekend breaks down as follows: 2 shows Friday, 2 shows Saturday, roughly 10 minutes each show; 25 dollars per show (totalling 100 bones) and they pay for a hotel room for 1 night. In anycase, I made it home and got to bed at a reasonable hour. Today, I went to www.webdecal.com and ordered a www.MarcusIsFunny.com decal for the back window of my car. I'm kind of excited. This week has been pretty cool for comedy, there's a show on Saturday that Garrison told me about; I'm going to try to get on there, so I'll hopefully be describing it Sunday.

Saving the best for last...maybe

I was not on the list to get on stage last night; but I arrived at about 5:40 and was talking to Scott Avery who said a lady named Nancy who had signed up (and made the list) cancelled. He said he would have Brian put me up. Woohoo. It's weird because the only reason I showed up THAT early was because I was misinformed and though Ash Wednesday Mass was at 5:30 (nope, 7:00). So I went to the Funny Bone early. When meeting time finally came around, I was slotted 8th or so, and Tommy Chamberlain was last, he didn't want to go last, so I excitedly said I'd close the show. I could only think about the show in December (which is on the media page currently) where I got to do extra time and had a ton of fun. I haven't had time to pick up more video tape yet, so I wasn't able to record my set, which sucks because I did mostly new material. Some of it was alright, as I expected, some was not what you'd call "funny" but it might deserve a little more work. I was surprised when one joke in particular (I'm going to have to call it Telethon) worked well. I closed the show with Blackest and a large black gentleman in the crowd was laughing and saying how that was "wrong". He and his white date came up to me and he said that she wasn't THAT big, he took it in good humor and said he liked my set. Tonight is the Springfield show, and Matt Wolff and I are going to ride together. Next week is the Forum show, and some more of my coworkers are planning on coming out which would be awesome; if I can get another decent set recorded and added to the media page (with some different jokes) I would be very very happy.
My brother emailed me with a 'flier' that we are going to use to set up some corporate work. It looks really sharp and has a lot of info I would not have thought to put on. If I can get motivated, I am giong to put up a "Promo and Booking" I'd probably move the Links and / or Blog tabs to a second page; that might not make sense to you now, but it looks cool in my head…
Anyway, it's lunch, and I'm a hungry boy.

No estaba en la lista a conseguir en etapa ayer por la noche; pero llegué cerca de 5:40 y hablaba con Scott Avery que dijo a señora nombrada Nancy que había firmado encima (y había hecho la lista) de cancelado. Él dijo él hizo que Brian me pusiera para arriba. Woohoo. Es extraño porque la única razón que demostré para arriba QUE estaba temprano porque me informaron mal y la masa de miércoles de ceniza estaba sin embargo en 5:30 (nope, 7:00). Fui tan al hueso divertido temprano. Cuando resolver tiempo finalmente vino alrededor, era 8vo ranurada o así pues, y Tommy Chamberlain era pasado, él no deseó ir por último, así que excitedly dije que cerraría la demostración. Podría pensar solamente de la demostración en diciembre (que está en la página de los medios actualmente) donde conseguí hacer tiempo adicional y tenía una tonelada de diversión. No he tenido tiempo para tomar más cinta video todavía, así que no podía registrar mi sistema, que aspira porque hice sobre todo el nuevo material. Algo de él estaba bien, como esperé, algunos no era lo que usted llamaría "divertido" pero puede ser que merezca un poco más trabajo. Fui sorprendido cuando una broma en el detalle (voy a tener que llamarlo Telethon) trabajó bien. Cerré la demostración con la más negro y un caballero negro grande en la muchedumbre era que reía y que decía cómo eso era "incorrecto". Él y su fecha blanca vinieron hasta mí y él dijo que ella no era ÉSA grande, él lo tomó en humor el bueno y dicho él tuvo gusto de mi sistema. La esta noche es la demostración de Springfield, y Wolff mate y yo vamos a montar juntos. La semana próxima es la demostración del foro, y mayor de mis compañeros de trabajo está planeando en venir fuera de cuál sería impresionante; si puedo conseguir otro sistema decente registrado y agregado a la página de los medios (con algunas diversas bromas) sería muy muy feliz. Mi hermano emailed me con un ' aviador ' ese nosotros va a utilizar instalar un cierto trabajo corporativo. Mira el reall agudo y tiene muchos de Info que no habría pensado para poner encendido. Si puedo conseguir motivado, soy giong para poner para arriba un "promo y reservación" movería probablemente las lengüetas de los acoplamientos y/o de Blog a una segunda página; eso no pudo ahora tenerle sentido, pero parece fresco en mi principal... De todas formas, es almuerzo, y soy un muchacho hambriento.

New Jokes for Old Folks

On Tuesday Jeremy Essig mentioned that he would be in Fairview Heights this week with James Johann. So I went out and asked Joey if I could spot light, she gave me a little grief because that's what she does and she gave me five minutes. The MC's name was Rob (Durham I think), he was very nice and funny. I did my single, big ears, ex girlfriend and work jokes. I also added in 2 new ones, which I wasn't /planning/ on doing, but they were good. My stage pressence was ok, but not what I would like it to be. I wish I could control the amount of energy I bring on stage, when I get that figured out, I'll be pretty excited. My video caemra ran out of tape, which means I have to go buy MORE... Anyway, I got home around 10:30, played a little GTA Vice City and went to bed.