Super Powers

Last night being Tuesday I found myself at the Funny Bone in Westport, I think I've been over that a couple of times. I did not make the list nor was I added to the show at the last minute, or any minute before that. Oh well. It was an awesome show however, as many of the comics last night were on 'it'. Whatever 'it' may be, I want some because they were funny. Today is the last day in June, the sixth month of the year. That's just a statement. I bought City of Heroes on eBay yesterday, and saved like 4 bucks. Hopefully it will be in for the holiday weekend. I haven't played it yet, but I already know it's going to cause me some trouble. If only I had a clone that I could send to work for me. Now THAT would be a super power.

Mob Rule

Last night at the Forum was definately a new experience. The crowd was, to say the least, unruly. When Jim Stout (the MC) was on stage they wouldn't shut up. Especially one particular "gentleman" from Old Monroe? who had some very very bad dental problems... Remember Austin Powers' teeth in the first movie? Worse. I actually make a reference to that guy after my foreshadowing tag saying graduates from High School would understand (in reality, no one really laughed at it, oh well). I have to be thankful for the crowd, however, because it was large (probably like 1 hundred or more people) and they behaved during my set. It honestly felt like one of the best sets I've done, ESPECIALLY because so much of the material is "new". Last night was great, and I will try to have video up today, but I have to mow my sister's lawn, do laundry and babysit my Godson, Jacob. Before I wrap this up, I want to thank The White Leroy for coming in from Columbia last night for the show (and some Yohoho Puzzle Pirates. Thanks also to Doug Vondera and Donna for showing up and not complaining if I spelled their names incorrectly.

Yo quierro... Los Arbys y Jack en el box

Last night I got on stage at the Funny Bone, I was number 12, but after a trade with Keith Cissel, I went on 4th. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I like going on early. People are less prone to notice that I don't swear in my act. After a string of comics who use vulgarity, one who doesn't (in my opinion) stands out. Keith Cissel is also a clean comic, but he somehow doesn't seem to stand out the way I think I do. That's a good thing. The Comedy Forum will host their amateur show tonight, and of course I will be there.

The Red Sea

Last night was awesome. Thanks to info from Andy Woodhull, I found my way to the Rea Sea on Delmar, part of St. Louis' illustrious "Loop". Red Sea is an Ethiopian restaurant with a Reggae Bar in the basement. It was awesome. Yesterday was one of the first times I've ever written a joke, done it, and gotten laughs all in one day. The Red Sea compares to Pipitos, a Tex/Mex restaurant in Minneapolis. I performed there a couple of times and they actually played mexican music during my set.

What I drink when I'm not drinkin'

With as much coffee and soda as I drink I decided to do some research, here it is. See kids? I make science suck even more!
Caffeine Chemical compound: C₈H₁₀N₄0₂.
"There are about 100 mg of caffeine per cup of coffee", (4oz cup?).
"Instant coffee generally contains less caffeine than coffee prepared from ground beans". "Caffeine is a white crystalline and shiny powder with a melting point of 236° C and is a weak base".
"Very few deaths have been reported by its use and probably when used in excess of 10 grams. The blood lethal level are probably in excess of 15 mg percent"."Caffeine withdrawal may cause headache, nausea, depression". Duh.
I stole this information from a couple of websites.
this one
and this one

Neat huh? Sorry about the 'learning' I'll try to post something funny next time. Then again why start now? Yarrrr.

Battle Royale

I got bored while mowing my sister's yard today... that can get dangerous. Maxim magazine used to pit one person or thing against another, and for some reason, Pee Wee Herman and Ernest P Worley popped into my head. I don't know why... but let the battle begin.

Pee Wee Vs. Ernest
Catagory	Pee Wee	Ernest	Winner
Movies	Two	Too many	Ernest?
Good Movies	One	One	Pee Wee?
Real Name	Paul Reubans	Jim Varney	tie
sidekick	Cowboy Curtis (Lawrence Fishburne)	Vern?	Pee Wee
Fav. Food	Mr. T Cereal	Eggs Erroneus	Ernest
Wardrobe	suit+red bow tie	jeans and a hat	comfort: Ernest style:Pee Wee
Mortal Coil	Intact	Shuffled off	Pee Wee
Sat. Morning TV Show	Yes	Yes	tie
Transportation	red bike	golf cart	Pee Wee
Posse	bikers	campers	Pee Wee

I didn't take into account that blade, stone, shaft thing that Ernest does, but with Morpeus and a gang of bikers in his corner, Pee Wee clearly has the upper hand

Beck, Mellowgold, Track One

Mood: Sad :(
Last night was the first Amateur Comedian Showcase Showdown at the The Comedy Forum. Ok, it breaks down like this: Every comic pays 10 bucks to enter the contest and each gets 5 minutes on stage. We drew numbers to determine the order, I was number 9 out of 20. The audience got one third of the vote and there were (I think) 5 judges who had the other 2/3's of the vote. There were five catagories, stage pressence, originality, crowd reaction, cleanliness, and something else (<--that's not the catagory name, I just don't remember it). I've never seen so many comics at the top of their game as I did last night. I didn't win but I was pleased with my set, and since I recorded it' I'll have it on the website, possibly tonight, depends how motivated I am. The best thing was that I managed to go up blind; in case you want to know my set list looked like [new apt] [roommate] [classof2] [tetris] [phonesex] [imp] (imp is 'in my pants'). I don't have much else.
I have to thank Leroy, Doug, Christina, Amanda, Amy and Carrie for showing up last night and for not complaining if I spelled their names incorrectly.
Thanks for reading; Have a great day, I am!

second time around

I'm getting some decent 'flight time'² in St. Louis. I am sure I am learning more than I did in Minneapolis last summer. I think I might be havnig difficulty following some of the dirtier comedians. I have no evidence to back this up, and mean no offence to any of them, but I think that once a crowd gets a 'taste' of vulgarity, they notice when it's absent. That's kind of why I like going on earlier, because in my opinion sober people don't 'need' vulgarity and crassness as much as the intoxified and inebriated. It's about 6 hours until show time and I'm getting pretty nervous. I don't think I would do comedy if it weren't for the queasiness beforehand and the rush afterwards.

2. flight time (noun phrase): obviously a term used by pilots referring to the time they have spent 'at the controls' in the air. In comedy terms, time on stage.
3. My dad's a pilot, and I like aeronautical terms.

mistakes were made

Last night I got on at the Funny Bone, number four in the lineup. I did my set under the hood¹. I did it in preperation for tonight's competition. It could have gone better, I forgot a tag at the end of a new bit, which isn't huge, but I broke character in [tetris] and faltered to get out my favorite stanza. I'm not sure if I rushed through my set or not because at the end of [phonesex] I had time to do [classof2]. I probably shouldn't end on that one because it doesn't have much of a kick at the end.

1. under the hood (prep. phrase): a term used by pilots who fly using special glasses that allow them to only see the instrument panel. In my comedy terms; performing on stage without notes or a cheat sheet. I also call it flying blind.

Coffee and Java

Holy cow, work was so slow today. We got in literally about 1/7th of the work we usually get in on a Monday. Good think I know how to goof off, otherwise I might have become bored, or even worse, actually done work. I've had to drink a lot of coffee today to keep awake enough to not get fired. I did some bitmap editting and changed a bunch of stuff on the main page on marcusisfunny.com. Java mostly, so now people will need to enable java to check out my site. I'm also using this slump at work to memorize my set for Wednesday. I've decided to do this show blind (meaning without my notes) and I'm starting out with new jokes (only a couple) which is dangerous on many levels:

1) A competition without notes; I could choke (that would be bad)
2) Starting out with new material is risky because you don't know how a crowd will react or even if you will deliver the jokes properly.

I have to change up my set because I don't want to do the exact same jokes I did last time at the Forum. That's all I have for now, I think I'll head over to Fark.com for a minute or two. Have a good day.
--Marcus

MarcusTV.com

I was looking through the tape on my video camera and I realized I don't have hardly anything I would willingly add to the website. And since there is A CONTEST COMING UP NEXT WEDNESDAY I've going to tape my set and add it to the site as soon as I can. If I get on at the Funny Bone, I'll try to tape that too. If you haven't already checked out the 'media' section of the site, go ahead, I only have one video and it's only a couple minutes long. It's a compilation of my [Class of 2] set. I want to add some kazoo songs to it, but I don't have the sound software yet. I may hunt some down and upload a song or two. If I add something, I'll note it here and you'll get an email.
Muhuwahahaa. (<--evil laugh).

That's sooo original, really...

Though he knew it was too late for the official contest, a friend of mine submitted the nearby picture saying this was me in the morning. I hate my friends. Seriously, between being compared to a monkey, being drawn as a stick figure (I am not THAT skinny) and being drawn with HUGE gaps between my teeth, I really have to wonder what my friends think of me when I'm not around. Probably something similar to what I think of them. Wa ha haa. I just realized that the primate to the right is pulling what StrongBad would call "Double Deuce Action" and that makes the picture even cooler. Thanks for the picture, Matt. Everyone have a great day, I have to get back to "work".

And the winner is...

The Month of May is over and so is my very first contest. Thanks to the six contestants who participated. I am sure you can tell by the avatar to the left that I have chosen Columbia Missouri's Anthony "Twan" Claypool as the official winner. His prize; nothing, remember? But that's ok, Twan can go to sleep (alone) knowing that he is the ultimate victor, and coincidentally the biggest loser. On a serious note, the reason I picked his picture is because of the giant ear, the left arm and how it almost flys out of my shoulder, I actually have a microphone in my hand, the phraze "Snz hot" on my shirt and the speech balloon telling me people love me. While every other picture was incredible in its own way, none of them almost made me pee myself like Mr. Claypool's. To view all of the submissions, click here. Gongrats, Twan and thanks, everyone.