the negative rewards of waiting

Last night Adam Lough held a meeting before the show at Laughs. He said that he received nineteen votes for 15 4-5 minute sets and three votes for 20 3-4 minute sets. Hopefully that will mean shorter shows from now on, even if I'm not getting on every time. I tried 2 new bits last night and forgot about my lightening joke altogether. One of my new bits was on ski-ball, and the other was an extension of stuff I "acquire" while drinking. Both are kind of funny, but it will be at least a couple weeks before I know how I feel about those bits (due partly because I won't be performing them in Appleton). I'm working on making some t-shirts; not so much merch to sell after a show, but shirts that say funny stuff on them and have a small MarcusIsFunny logo on the back. I'm thinking ringers and stuff I can wear under other button-up shirts. I think I need an artist to do some work for me, if anyone's interested, uh, email me.

Sometimes you're at your best
When you look the worst

a champion among dorks

My internet is very sketchy at home right now. I think I need a Bidirectional Co Axle Splitter to allow my internet and television cable to live in harmony. Also, as of yesterday or so, my A/C is broken. I think I know what the problem is, because I paid some dude to come out and fix the same problem last month. He said something about a wire being broken and he "forced" it back into it's rubber insulation. Rewiring is out of the question, so he just kind-of-fixed it and then kind-of-chardged-me a hundred bucks.
The Funny Bone contest finals were held last night. Gabe Kea, Rob Durham, Clayton Champagne, Keith Ciessel, Bill Davis and Chad Huff all competed and Keith, Gabe and Chad went home with some money (Keith was first; Gabe second, Chad third). It was a good show, each guy did about ten minutes and the crowd was very receptive. But who tabulated all the judges and audience votes? Why none other than me, Marcus. St Louis comedian and nerd. ¹
I was thinking about it when a couple days ago; the box office at the Funny Bone has MSExcel installed on it. Why couldn't we just 10-key the scores into a spreadsheet and sum (or average) them up? Just label a couple columns, set a couple of rows aside for averages and run with it. So I asked Matt, and he said it sounded like a good idea. But since the judges got 50% of the votes, I had to set those equal to the entire audience. Since this is what I do at work (besides blog, that is), I knew what to do. Set up 1 averages for the judges, set up one for the audience. Then average those numbers for a final score. I was too busy entering the numbers to see if anyone jumped into the lead or if there was any back and forth as the numbers were entered (I froze the panes so Matt could see the numbers as I went). It took longer to enter the 150+ sheets that were turned in than I expected, but it was better than last week when we had to count stuff by hand. The pie charts and bar graphs were probably a little overkill. Oh yeah, speaking of work, I should probably start since I am typing this while clocked in. Hey, I'm on break [uses shifty eye].

-----------
1. I usually call myself a 'dork' since I like cartoons and toys and sci-fi. To me, nerds are usually more intellectual, with the pocket protectors, retainers and stuff like that. I see dorks moer as the sci-fi nerds who like the internet and their computers way too much. Then again, I am footnoting my blog, how nerdy is that?²
2. Pretty Nerdy.
3. For more Dork Vs. Nerd talk, check out what E has to say, or check out what Wikipedia has to say on the subject (be sure to check out the comic on that page).

Ext. 201!

We had a smaller crowd at Lloyd and Harry's tonight than we've had for the past two shows, but we did have more (or different, I guess) comics. I emceed for Matt Wolff, Stevie P, Gabe Kea, Mike Strantz, John Doelling and Clayton Champagne. With a smaller crowd and going up first, it was tough to get the audience to pay attention, buT I did get some laughs out of them. Doelling said he liked the way I didn't let the lack of responce get to me on stage, which was very cool. It did seem (to me) that I lost my place once or twice, but I haven't been preparing set lists before many shows lately. I think I need to at least concentrate on what I am going to do, instead of winging it so much. And I definately have to be more serious. My intros were weird and long and I probably could have made it easier on everyone else if I made them seem (more) credible when they got on stage. My internet is seriously screwing up now, I bypassed my router and plugged my modem straight into the cable (I have a series of splitter running cable to 5 places (drops, if you will) throughout my condo, and I think they might be messing up my signal. I'll probably look into it more when it's not midnight.

Standing outsite the club, some lady on the phone said "guide" funny.

I went to Louisville, KY last night to the Comedy Caravan. I made a bunch of calls up there this week and was told if I showed up Saturday, they might be able to get me a spotlight. Might being the key word. I am not emphasizing that because I want them to sound jerky or anything, I'm emphasizing that word because I drove 550+ miles yesterday for 'might'.
I made the trip for a bunch of reasons, 1) the St. Louis weather has been bad, and I figured my power'd go out again, so I might as well have A/C in my car... 2) I was at the Caravan a couple months ago for their Tuesday show and due to a number of factors, didn't do as hot as I wanted... 3) Mike Armstrong was headlining.
Mike is one of the nicest guys I've worked with, and I really wanted a chance to share the stage with him again. Anyway, when I got to the club, I met Mike and a bunch of the club staff and was told I could do a set at the late show (11:45). It was like 7:30 or so, so I had four hours to kill. I went to fill up my gas tank, and hung out at the club in the bar until the show. During that time, I got to meet Keith McGill and Bob Batch. Keith and Bob are both headliners, but were filling out an all-Louisville week with Mike so they took turns with emceeing and featuring. Bob was emceeing the late show, so he brought me up. And that crowd was amazing. Since Louisville's bars don't close until 4:00am, these guys weren't already wasted and about to pass out, they likely still had places to go after the show, so it was different from the Westport Midnight show. Anyway, I did just under 7 minutes and had a lot of fun (and the crowd laughed). I forgot to do my Scorpion and motorcycle jokes, which I thought Mike would get a kick out of, but he was complimentary of my set regardless. After the show and some hanging out, I jumped in my car, hit a Waffle House and drove home. I got back at about 5:30 and passed out. After about 6 and a half hours of sleep and 2 hours of myspacing, I think it's time to shower and eat. But my internet's acting up (again) so I might have to save this to a text file and upload it later...

gimme mine

I did end up trying out my four new jokes tonight. Of the four, I think the lightening one has the best chances of surviving into my normal act. I can see it fitting into my "style" (or what I think my style is right now) better than the others. I went up first and probably would have done WAY better had I not been concentrating on the new stuff. Not that I didn't have a good set, I just didn't command the stage like I did last week. Anyway, the show lasted a long time and I stuck around until the end and am back home late, so I need to get to bed. Adam has ballots to vote on how the show should be run in the future (15 comics at 4-5 min. each Vs. 20 comics at 3-4 min. each). Either way is cool, there are pros and cons to each. I voted for the shorter list, simply because it gives a chance to work with a longer set, and if enough people stick to their time (or go under) Adam could throw up extras. I know some people gripe about having a defined list of performers and cutting people out, but it's simple Supply and Demand. There's a need for stage time, and Laughs wants to have a good show, so they can do what they want. Besides, most of the people who complain aren't at Lloyd and Harry's (or weren't at the old Bistro shows) so I don't see why they would be upset at a "lack" of stagetime.

mine gimme

I seem to be getting more hits from around the world. Europe has about 7 one-time readers, I had four Asian hits, and one hit from someone in the middle of the Atlantic, probably on a raft or deserted island or something. I just hope my blog provides/provided them some comfort out there. The midwest isn't looking too bad, I hope that my Distorted View banner has something to do with that, or maybe some road comic is just checking up on me, hence the different locals.
I wasn't on stage last night. I was supposed to be, though. Twice kind of. I signed up for the Open Mic at the Forum, and was at the Westport Starbucks writing with Janine Brito and Matt Wolff. The weather got pretty bad pretty quick and I decided to trade my motorcycle for my car (which was parked a couple miles away at my brother's). Anyway, I got to my car and realized I had a message from the Bone inviting me to emcee. This probably won't help me out much, since some people at the Comedy Forum aren't very fond of the Bone, but I agreed to emcee. After all, paid work trumps non-paid any time. When I got back to Westport, the power was out due to the storm, so we didn't have a show. The worst part of the whole story is: I was going to debute some new material at the Forum and I was excited to try it out. I'll try it tonight at Laughs, provided I don't forget (again).
I see some comics with new material go up with obvious notes (like a notebook, or a big hunk of paper, or whatever) and I can kind of now see why it works for them. These guys have defined, noticable styles and it's easy to see that, and so the notebook doesn't take away from their time on stage. I want that.

On a roll

I rode my motorcycle over to Main Street tonight. We had about 30 people in the bar at one time for the shoe, but once the show got going at Lloyd and Harry's, they seemed a little unruly. I went up about 6th or so, most everyone did ten minutes apiece, so I was hoping to make it through that long before the crowd "got to me". But they didn't. I made a set list of the three new jokes I wanted to debut, but once I got on stage, I completely forgot. I started off with some drinking jokes, and moved around from there. My set basically followed my train of thought, I didn't do all of my relationship jokes together, I spaced out a couple of my drinking jokes, and I completely split the pharmacy joke from the Phone Sex and Sam's Club bits. Though some of the audience was talkative during parts of my set, I had them all-but-captivated for a few parts (or at least enough to warrent mentioning). I had a complete blast on stage, was animated enough (though, after watching Andy Woodhull all this week, I realized I should shift my feet when I turn left or right, instead of planting them solid and rotating my torso) and despite the microphone requiring alot of attention (Greg, the guy who brought it said that you had to talk right into it) I did well and got a lot of laughs. I made it a point to watch the other comedians and listen to how they sounded over the PA, which was a luxury since I was going up near the end. I met Tom, one of the owners of Lloyd and Harry's and I thanked him for letting us do the show. He said to keep coming out and tell my friends. I tried to crack a joke and say "I don't have any friends" (which is more true than I'd like to admit) but I don't think he got it. Anyway, week two went really well and Clayton closed the show really well.
I know a bunch of comics don't want to come out to the bar shows, because they consider them "crappy" or something. And I remember a piece of advice someone gave me once, "Do crappy rooms, become a crappy comic". While that has merit to it, I don't think it is a rock solid principle. If you're writing your jokes to rooms like that, they might not carry over to the comedy-based establishments, but stage time is stage time and making 20 people pay attention and laugh is a great challange especially for me, since I'm trying to nail down my emceeing abilities.

mood: satisfied for now

Tonight wrapped up my week of emceeing out at the Funny Bone in Fairview Heights. One of the managers said that he saw me Thursday and tonight and that I was like a completely different person on stage. That definately goes in the compliment column.
Aside from that, I still haven't heard about who's been voted into the next round at the Westport competition. Gabe Kea said he had heard I made it, but I don't want to get my hopes up, so I'll wait for "official" word and just show up Tuesday to catch the show.
This week I'm planning on calling some different clubs and try to set up some auditions or spotlights. I'd like to get some more emcee experience, and with the stuff I learned this week, I hope to get out more often and make some connections. I think it'll be too hard to cold-call clubs and try to get booked when I finally start to feature; and there's a much lower-risk for clubs letting me spotlight and emcee, so once I get my foot in the door, that should help. This past week, I was on stage every single day from Monday to Sunday, and tomorrow I get to start again with Lloyd and Harry's and hopefully the Funny Bone. As much as I am looking forward to those, I'm also looking forward to going to sleep right now.

Bon anniversaire

I'm really seeing a difference in my presence on stage this week. Rahn has been very complimentary, and tonight after the first show, he told me to do 10 during the second because I had "earned it". Both shows were fun, and I think my confidence on stage has drastically increased. During the first show, Rahn told me to ask about birthdays and celebrating stuff between he and Andy. So I did. Now, being new at crowd-interaction, I was a little scared, but it came off alright, and after about a minute or so, I did some announcements and brought Rahn up.
Second show, I did more crowd interaction up front, the birthdays thing (some guy was celebrating his 18th, so that led well into some porn jokes), some work-place stuff like on Thursday, and another birthday (this one a 27 year old girl) that led me to my Single / "Celebate by Popular Demand" stuff. Dave Carlow was there to watch my set and was complimentary. I'm glad it took so long for him to see me, because he seemed impressed. Anyway it's late, and I have to sleep. My internet is still down, which is annoying, but it's not like customer service is open this late... Stupid Charter.

He'll think it's funny.

Last night while MCing in Fairview, I "went to the audience". I normally don't talk to the audience, I mean I say things in their general direction, but I have not often had conversations with people in the audience. Last night all that changed when I started talking about work. I asked some guy what he did for a living, and he said he worked for a pizza place. I asked if that wasI asked if he got free pizza, he said he did. And that led perfectly into my Pharmacy joke (about how they don't let me near the drugs.
It felt good to learn something on stage without really expecting it. I want to try talking to the audience more, I think if I choose the right topic (I mean, it'll have to be able to lead into one of my jokes (at first anyway)) I can really connect with them. Rahn had some nice things to say about my set, mainly about how I was taking control of the stage, which I felt. I was much more assertive last night on stage, and I had good sets. The second crowd in particular was really good. Andy had an amazing set, and so did Rahn. Gabe Kea was out visiting and got some stage time, I brought him during the first show as the Funny Man, Gabe Kea. "The"? I sounded so lame... Not that Gabe isn't funny, I mean he beat me in the Battle for Independance and is in the 2nd round at the Westport competition, it's just I picked the wrong word. Anyway, my internet is down, so I'll post this when it comes back up... Stupid Charter.

Tommy still has my shoes

Andy Woodhull called me tonight at about 7:20 and asked if I was headed out to Fairview Heights. He said they needed an MC, and I said I was on my way. I got there 30 minutes later and got to host the show for Andy, Rahn Ramey and Brie Johnson (who was doing a guest spot). I recorded my set, and did the jokes I've been doing all week. The crowd was a little stiff, but I did get laughs, so it's not like they were a stone wall.
I also recorded my announcements, which I've never done before. Announcements are the important part of the show (for an MC) and I want to see how I sound. I had to do the Kilo Diabetes Charity announcement and I think I did a good job, and I got all the rest of the announcements (website, comment cards, Buzz Sutherland next week) finished between performers, so at the end of the night, I just gave small reminders. Hopefully that is a good approach as I would like to emcee at Fairview more. Afterwards, Andy and I hit Laughs where they had a ton of comics on the list. The room was really full and it looked like they had a good show.
Anyway, it's 1:20am right now, WAY past my bedtime, so I am going to sleep and dream about calling in sick to work tomorrow.

Night.

blowing smoke...

Mikey, Kevin and I hit the road for the Springfield contest tonight. On the ride up, we worked on some jokes and did an "exercise" where one person tells a joke-in-progress to the others, and then the two others do that joke back to the writer in their own styles. It's a cool way to see different perspectives and possibly get new tags out of a joke.
The contest was pretty cool, there were 8 people. We three, and five people I'd never met before. I drew 7th and am very happy with my set. I got a great responce from the crowd using much of the set I did last night with a couple other jokes. I wanted to try some of the stuff I've been writing on my MySpace Blog (I guess I should link that). But I couldn't think of any. Don Bassford gave me some very nice compliments and we hung out for a bit and talked to some of the other comics, which was cool. I emailled out a please vote for me in regards to the Funny Bone contest at work earlier today and was told not to do that. A bunch of people were like "Oh, I'd love to come see you" but I've heard it before. I'd rather people just say "Nah, not interested" than lie to me. I don't care if you want to see me on stage. All I care about is quitting my job (one day) and getting on the road. Until then, though, it's open mics, contests and a 9-to-5.

mood: maybe a little jealous...

I didn't make it into the second round of the comedy competition at the Funny Bone tonight. Which is sad, unless you're one of the 10 guys who did (Congratz all, by the way). The show was really good and about everyone was at the top of their game, so it's only a little frustrating to not be among the "winners" or whatever. I enjoyed my set except for a couple things. One, I banged my knee really hard on the rail while Jimmy Rice was MCing. It still kind of hurts. Two, I was really nervous. My leg was shaking a bit while I was on stage. And Three, I could have slowed down. I only planned on doing about 2 minutes (we were given 3) or so (my set list consisted of Jeeves, iPorn, Animal on Animal, Celebate, Email, Scorpion and Motorcycle). I didn't go abnormally fast or anything, but and I would like to have had more control over my rate of speech. My set was good, I got laughs at the appropriate places and other laughs at some of my setups.

Actually you can check out my set on RooftopComedy.com and vote for me to get back back into the contest. You only have a couple of days, so watch the set, and vote if you get 3 minutes.

I tried a couple new things tonight, not bits, but bit-placement. I closed on my motorcycle joke, which has a series of tags at the end, and I opened with my Ask Jeeves joke, which doesn't have much of a setup (I was trying to get an early laugh so I could get the audience's attention right away). I'm happy with my decision, because I think that both jokes are good enough to set at the end/beginning respectively. You can judge for yourself, by going to RooftopComedy.com and voting.

The Main Event

I headed down to Lloyd and Harry's for the open mic show that Clayton put together. I got to host for a crowd of 20-something locals. I did about 10 or 12 sans cheatsheet. I like going up for longer sets without notes (especially when I don't have new stuff) just to see how I am going to put together my jokes. I have certain near-unbreakable combinations, like Phonesex/Tetris, or Email/Scorpion/Motorcycle, but what goes where isn't ever set in stone. I like that. The crowd was a little rowdy, but there were people paying attention and I snagged an applause break (or as close to one as you're gonna get). I think Wolff got one too, which was cool, especially since he went up basically last (we had one late first-timer who gave it the old what-the-hey try). Anyway, Myself, Clayton (naturally), Mikey Manker, Jeff Wesselschmidt, Stevie P, Mike Shawkee, Matt and Joe D (or Jody?) put on about an hour show and then I played some video pool with some ladies who saw me at the Bistro months ago and stopped by to check out the show. Tomorrow's the Funny Bone competition, which is exciting. We get 3 minutes and they're gonna cut off the mic after that. Also, I learned they won't do a check drop (arguably one of the hardest spots during a show, especially one with several people) until the last contestant is up. That's awesome. I am really excited. Tomorrow at work, I'll probably be worthless (ok, more worthless) just because I'm going to be running over which jokes I want to do. 3 minutes=no problem but I've got to nail down what I want so there's no (or less) room for error.

He's an ordinary guy, but no one understands him but his woman. John Shaft

If you want to get into the show for free tomorrow (Tuesday) I can hook you up.

I know, but I have to prove it to them

Last night I did a "private party" for Stevie P. Mikey Manker and Kevin White were also on the bill, but due to... something... the cops showed up. We were originally supposed to start at 10:00, but the show got underway (in an unfurnished basement with a PA system and lawn furniture) at about 10:30. Steve went up for about 10 minutes and then brought me up. My time was fun, there were maybe 20 to 30 people in the basement, more-than-half of which listened to me. Some of the others thought it would be a good idea to talk about truly-unimportant-stuff in the back while I was on stage. It was a distraction, but the attentive-audience understood what I was working with and cut me some slack. Not that I felt I needed any (or much) slack, because I kept my composure and was pretty conversational on stage. There were two (drunk) dudes who seemed to be in stitches throughout my set. Most notably, my motorcycle joke got some major laughs, I slowed it down and let each tag collect its laughter. A couple of times during the last quarter of my set, some guy announced the cops were there. I kept going, what did I care, I was sober and actually enjoying myself. I think I was in the middle of my Phone Sex joke when someone came in and said everyone had to leave or they were taking the owner to jail. So I said goodnight to the crowd did what any comic would do: I plugged my website. I feel kind of bad for Mikey and Kevin because they drove all the way out to St. Charles for seemingly nothing; but I learned more on how to work with distractions. Shows like that can either suck or be a complete blast (like the Pawnee After Prom in Springfield). I think a lot of comics wouldn't look forward to rougher shows, but they really push you. It's "easy" when people pay money to come watch a show, I mean that's why they're there. But when you have a show in a basement with sheets hung from the ceiling to make a green room, or when you have a bar show where some of the people there just want to drink and talk about their day to friends, those shows can be discouraging. But if you're funny there. You're really funny. Speaking of bar shows, Clayton's hosting a show at Lloyd and Harry's on Mainstreet (adjacent to the Bistro) on Mondays starting at 9:30. Be there, I will.

Whacha gonna do when they come for you?

Steve Perry

Tonight I was on stage with Clayton Champagne, Bill Davis, the Arch Rivals Improv Troupe, Matt Wolff and Tyrone Robinson (no relation). We had a crowd of about 20 people at the Comedy Forum, and in those situations, the show can either be awesome or a nightmare. It depends on what you make it. I wanted to make it fun, especially since I don't feel so proud of my set last night. I didn't prepare a cheat sheet, and I barely ran over what jokes I wanted to do and I didn't jump around to get myself hyped up before the show (I sometimes jump like I'm skipping rope to get the blood flowing). Clayton pulled me up first and I just approached the mic and opened up. My first joke (the dumped by email one), I feel, made me seem kind of human. Plus it's got a recognizable format, setup, punch, tag, tag. I like it now as an opener because it simultaneously gets the audience ready for jokes, and kind of shows them who I am. Mainly, someone people don't want to date. Somewhere in my set, I kind of narrated/mentioned my lack of segues. Then I called that awkward and then narrated how awkward that was. It was kind of silly, but I liked it. I'll have to post the audio. I did about 12 minutes and had fun. I got laughs; not a ton, but that's to be expected infront of 20 people. I did get an applause break I think.
So what did I learn? I don't know. Maybe that relating to the crowd is essential, or maybe that sequas are important in longer sets. I think I really learned that thinking/believing I'm funny is more important that visually showing it on stage. Lately I've had a bit of an ego, and going up just wanting to be funny and entertain people was a much better idea than walking up and expecting to be amazing.

Mystical? Maybe
Spiritual
Hearable
What appears in you is a clearer view cause you're too crazy

pop quizes

There's no point in getting on stage every night if you don't learn something. It's 10:24pm and I'm in my spare bedroom/office wondering what I learned tonight from the Comedy Forum. I went up third following Mikey Manker, Clayton Champagne and the pro-temp host, Matt Wolff. I started off normally with my dumped via email joke, and moved to the scorpion and motorcycle comparisons. The crowd was composed, once again, by the residents of Old Monroe. I've not had great luck with them before, as when they used to frequent the Forum, they saw my jokes over and over and over again. Usually they only for Josh, whom they all came to see. Anyway, with a basic assumption in hand, I basically turned on them and their silence and attacked their intelligence. I did my blackout jokes, tried some MySpace stuffm, and did the blackest-thing about me (which got a groan, nice). I ended on a request and did a clean version of the Lord Voldermort joke, because I'm not about to say the n-word on stage again. I don't know what all else went on and I don't know how long I did because my batteries in my DVR died and I forgot to start my stopwatch. So what did I learn tonight?

- remember to start your stopwatch. Easy enough.
- check batteries on DVR. Doesn't seem to need elaboration.
- stop cursing on stage. I don't like it and shouldn't allow my frustration to show so much.
- I'm not a convincing jerk. I want people to like me, maybe I should concentrate on being myself on stage and not just taking out my aggressions on an unsuspecting audience.
- don't judge an audience by its members. The audience liked my motorcycle joke (I think I got an applause break, not sure) and about everything up to that. If I would have stuck to the "script" maybe they would have enjoyed my set more and

Anyway, no stage time is bad stage time. I'm on at the Forum tomorrow night and doing a private show Friday. I'll be at the Forum Saturday night to watch Clayton's set and Clayon said there's going to be a Monday show at Lloyd and Harry's on the St. Charles Main Street.
As Droopy dog would say, "You know what? I'm Happy".

Fireworks are overrated

It's 12:39 am July 5th. I'm tired and I have to work at 7:00am, but I just got back from the Battle for Independence at Laughs on the Landing and I had a couple Red Bulls so I have some time to type. The contest was supposed to start at 8:00pm, so I showed up around 6:15ish to write and check out the "scenery" on the landing before the show. I saw Adam and he informed me the show wouldn't start until around 10, which was fine with me. It's not like I have a social life, so no problem. I ended up playing some pool, foosball and watching some ECW (Extreme Championship Wrestling). WHen it came to show time, the comics drew numbers out of a hat, and I wound up 2nd which was fine. I did my celibate, email, scorpion, motorcycle, iPorn, animal on animal and Tetris jokes and got off stage at 3:57 (thus meeting the 4:00 limit). I watched most of the other comics, missing only a few bits and pieces as I was ordering Redbull or Water or going to the bathroom. At the end of the show, Gabe Kea took first place and a cool championship wrestling belt and Janine Brito took second. I had thought I had a decent chance at winning, but they both had good sets, so I'm not upset. Incase they're reading, Congrats. I hate you both.
They know I'm kidding.

Next time, that belt is mine, though. Seriously.

Unless it doesn't match my shoes.

I know you know that I know you love me

I was on stage 6 nights this past week!

Tonight, Janine Brito called and wanted to know if I was going to the Funny Bone. I had considered it, but was watching Men of Honor and am going to the Bone tomorrow to catch Gabe Kea emceeing, so probably wouldn't have gone without the invite. I'm glad I did go though, because Matt needed an MC and I was at the bar so they let me do it. As far as I'm concerned getting stuff by default is pretty cool (I was my Highschool Salutatorian with a C-average because there were only 2 guys in my class). I had little to no prep time, but went up sans cheat sheet and did my thing. I ended on my PhoneSex joke, which didn't have the kick I really wanted, but I got the intros for Andi, Jeremy and Brett and I got the announcements right. Near the end of the show, Matt asked me to do the Kilo tickets. If you're not familiar it goes like this; The Kilo-Diabetes Foundation was founded to benefit children with Diabetes. The Funny Bone takes donations of a dollar or more as people leave. For every buck you donate you get a ticket to come see a show. 1 dollar=1 ticket. 2 dollars=2 tickets. And so on. I've done the Kilo announcement at Fairview before, and Joey all-but-yelled at me because I wasn't good at it. To be honest I was probably horrible, (but that was a long time ago). Anyway, I was nervous to do it tonight, but got it right and Matt said I did alright. Anyway, that's three nights of emceeing in the past eight days, I think I'm getting better thanks to advice from Jeremy and Matt. One thing I regret is having neither my audio recorder nor my watch with me. I felt kind of naked without them...
The next two weeks are busy with an open mic and a showcase at the Forum, a competition at both the Westport and Springfield Funnybones and the Battle for Independance on July 4th at Laughs. If you have time, come on out to one, a couple or all of the shows.

fact: It says "Marcus" four different places on my business card, weird eh?

Thank you, Admiral.

Last night was probably the last Weekend Cocktail-Hour Showcase at the Landing for a while. They're going to start bringing in professionals on the weekends to do the shows. There's talk about using the local guys as hosts and stuff so there should still be weekend stage time, and the Thursday night Cocktail-Hour will still be in effect, so the room's changing, probably for the better in the long run.
Adam Lough hosted the show along with myself, Gabe Kea, Nikki Glaser, Mikey Manker and Clayton Champagne. The show went well, started around 10:15-10:30 or so (I'm not entirely sure) and ended around midnight. I'd say we had a crowd of 50 or 60 or more. During my set, about halfway in I blanked on my next joke. I had already done my Ferrari, Motorcycle, EMail, Scorpion, Nervous, Math, and Chubby Chaser and porn jokes and was in the middle of my skiing stuff when I had no idea what was next. I had a cheat sheet, but really didn't want to look at it, and so I shifted back to some dating material and then realized I had some College jokes that would lead into my Work stuff to close on Tetris. It was really neat to be in the middle of a joke and at the same time, run through a list of stuff or concentrate on something else while talking and moving my hands. I don't think the crowd noticed, because I didn't pause or say, "What else is up?" which I do when I need to stall for time. None of the other comics said they noticed. I need to work on slowing down, though, as when I rattled off the tetris beat, Clayton said I went a little fast. I want to slow everything down a bit and try commanding the stage more. That's a project I'll be working on for next couple months...
I gave Gabe and his girlfriend, Emily, a ride to their car(s). While we were driving, Gabe and I talked delivery. One of the ideas that came up was that you can tell jokes like you're telling jokes, or you can tell jokes like you're stating fact (so it's less obvious where the setup, punch, and tags are). Gabe offered that it's good to start out with a jokey-style up front because you can prepare an audience to listen, and then move to less-obvious inflections so that you don't seem cheesy or unpolished. I think my Email joke would be a good opener for that kind of thing. When I did that joke last night, I asked (as I usually do) if anyone has ever been dumped. Some people cheered. Clayton suggested I riff on those types of situations, which is a great idea, because 1) it's practice, and 2) if something goes wrong, I can do the rest of the Email joke to recover.
Last night was Nikki's last night in town before she drives to Las Angeleas, so it was good to see her (and good to work with her so I can put it on my résumé in case she blows up). All the guys at MarcusIsFunny.com want to wish her the best of luck.
Alright, it's noon-thirty and I have to vacuum, shower and do some writing (I have to be more disciplined on that). So that's all I have.

But the dawn is breaking
It's early morn
The taxi's waitin
He's blowing his horn

If anyone wants to get together and write sometime, like on an off-Wednesday, or before any of the open mics, let me know.