Mr. Clean

Originally I was not on the list for the Funny Bone last night; however, to quote Kid Rock "persistance pays and that holds true" and Brian put me on moments before the show. I had a conversation with Gabriel Kea about clean comedy. I would like to consider myself a clean comic, but Gabriel argued that references to my crotch (in my Class of 2 bit, my In My Pants bit, and my new Gambling bit) were hardy clean. So I am left with two choices; stay clean and drop/change my material or sell out (as Gabe put it) and go dirty. So I guess I have to eliminate a bunch of my not-so-child-friendly material (though children probably wouldn't enjoy my act, I would like for them to be able to watch and not pick up any bad language or ideas).
Ideally, I'd like to push the envelope and see how creative I can be, IDEST be as suggestively dirty as possible without being outright dirty. I have to admit, I had a little trouble sleeping at the idea of being a "blue" comic; though I have nothing against blue comics or dirty language in general, I myself would like to bill myself as clean. Spot free, if you will.

microphones and microwaves

Last night I tried some new material at the Funny Bone. Last night's material was very full of fat jokes, which kind of struck me by surprise, especially since I wrote the jokes. Kevin Patterson went on before me. Kevin and Keith Cissell usually run the light (ok, candle) that  lets comics know when their time is almost up. Since Keith Cissell was MC-ing, and I wasn't paying attention to time, when Kevin got off of stange I wasn't prepared to start my video camera. So unfortunately for me, I have no video of last night. I wanted to see what I looked like holding the microphone instead of leaving it in the stand like I usually do. I had a good time and went home to eat Chef Boyardi out of my NEW MICROWAVE. Should the title of this one be 2" microphones and a microwave"? That would definately be "where it's at"...

Email Blog Test 2

Yesterday, Monday 19th (I think) was, well, not a typical Monday. It had many of the frustrating qualities of a Monday, but it was in fact very unqiue. BET's Coming to the Stage was in town at the Westport Funnybone holding autitions to get on their show. Much like Last Comic Standing, you show up, tell some jokes and if they like you they bring you back that night to work infront of a live audience. Then if they like you, you might get to fly to Las Angeles (I think) and do a show. Funding for the trip is of course your own responcibility. There were three basic things they were looking for besides the obvious "funny" stuff.(I'll write check by the stuff I figure I did ok on).

1) Clean material, kind of, since Coming to the Stage shows during prime time, anyone should be able to tune in. (check)

2) The ability to do 7 minutes, they weren't very specific on this, and they said few of their participants from previous cities could do seven minutes. (check)

3) Matierial that would appeal to an urban audience between the ages of 18 and 49. (uh, say what?)

My number was 58, and I spent 4 hours waiting to perform infront of the toughest crowd I've ever seen. Everyone in the room was in my group (numbers 40 to 60) so of course they didn't want me to do too well… so I understand. I spent the evening travelling to Illinois, where I had heard there was a chance to do some comedy at the Fairview Heights Funny Bone, as I walked in the door, one of the employees told me they had cancelled the show per lack of audience. So I turned around, went home, and played City of Heroes. Tonight I'm on the list at the Westport Funny Bone.

One Fine Day

Yesterday was friday, and I had just settled down to play about 6 or more hours of City of Heroes when I recieved a telephone call from Joe Lehnig who offered me fifty bucks to do some time in a town called New Haven, MO, he also . So I said "Where's New Haven?", and he gave me directions and I was on my way. The show was at a place called the Boon Docker Inn. It was huge! New Have is a kind of country/western line dancing joint and we had a crowd of maybe 80. Though in such a spacious room, it seemed like a small crowd... Andy Woodhall, myself, Joe and Dano Sullivan did the show. I had a blast, though a couple of the patrons were a little (ok, very) drunk and unruly. But it was awesome, and I made fifty bucks, which will almost cover the ticket I got on my way home from work.
Today was the first day of the comedy workshop at the Funny Bone. I am pretty excited about it because we ar focusing on writing, which I need. That's about it. There's a show on Wednesday at the Forum, and I'll be there. Show starts around 8:00, free admission. Free is my favorite word.

poetry and lotion

Ahh the holiday weekend! And where do we find our here but at work in his cubicle... Thanks to a monitary incentive, I'm working both today the 3rd and Monday the 5th. Tomorrow is reserved almost exclusively for City of Heroes. I have shown amazing willpower thus far as I have not (yet) stayed up all night playing. Maybe next weekend...
I guess I should say something about stand up...Comedy on Wednesday was insane, 3 comedians showed up at the Red Sea, and I was the only one who regulary goes to either the Funny Bone or the COmedy Forum. In addition, I was the door guy. In case I am making it sound too, uh, low-class, I don't mean to. I was given as much time as I wanted, and I had a chance to see how some of my new jokes sounded out loud. That's extremely important for me, because I don't often run them by many people before trying them onstage. I may work out the premise with another comic, but I don't often "do" the joke for one. Work is alright, I'm only here to around 2pm, cause I got here a little after 6:00am. Yeah, 6:00am on a saturday... I remember not long ago I wasn't fully functional until 6:00 PM on some saturdays...I just realized that my favorite joke works as a haiku...
My class was so small
you could count the graduates
on my testicles...

Awesome.

If I could work one into a limerick, I'd be a happy boy.