busy busy busy

Tonight I got to follow Mikey Manker at Laughs on the Landing. I took the opportunity to mention the after prom we did, and then talk about my prom (or lack thereof) and my all-male boarding highschool. I did some myspace stuff, talked about a near-adventure with an exotic dancer and did part of the fashion/mop joke that Mike Strantz says he likes. Adam Lough is hosting a competition Tuesday (the fourth) and so he had a wrestling championship belt, which he displayed on the wall behind the stage throughout the show. So while Kevin White was on stage, I snuck up behind him (wearing my motorcycle goggles) and hit him with a chair Repo-man style from WWF in the 80s. Later Adam continued the drama by hauling me on stage, beating up Kevin and claiming the belt as his own. Adam also invited me to join Clayton, Nikki Glaser and some others for a show Saturday. Sweet. To top that off, Thursday is a showcase at the Forum, so I'll be there for that too. In case you're keeping track; I
-filled in as the MC at the Funny Bone Sunday
-auditioned for more MC work at the Funny Bone Wednesday
-am doing an "extended set" at Laughs Saturday
-am in a competition at Laughs Tuesday
-am in a showcase at the Comedy Forum Thursday
It's been a good fortnight for comedy. I was thinking about this on the ride home: The competition will have stricter guidelines on time. Adam said three minutes. So that makes me wonder, which three minutes. I'm a firm believer in being funny quick. I don't like it when people say stuff like, "I can't be limited to just minutes" or 4 minutes or 3... "I need more time to do my jokes". I've seen comics deliver excellent jokes in 20 seconds, I've seen well-constructed jokes and call backs done in a 4 minute set. It's not how much time, it's what-you-do-in-that time. Now as for what I do with my time, I am not quite sure. I have a quick call-back I can throw in, but I don't know who's judging and I don't know if they'll be tired of jokes I've been doing regularly for the past couple months.

I know you know, I see you smiling at me.

Need directions to a show? .

our little Marcus is all grown up...

I just got back from the show I MC'd (is it emceed? Someone let me know which one to use, and I'll stick with that) at the Funny Bone. Andi Smith, Brett Clawson, Jeremy Essig joined forces to make The Disappointments. Jason Kantor was supposed to be there too, but was not. I saw him a couple of weeks ago during an Industry night, very funny.
Anyway, back to me. Oh yeah, Greg Warren stopped by and did some time too.
The show was good. Matt told me to do five (I went a little long) and bring up Greg first. My set was good, later Greg told me I should slow down, he said the crowd seem to be trying to catch up to me. It was cool to get advice from a pro, especially since I didn't have to ask. I always feel like I'm imposing, but since he offered it freely, he must have wanted to, or he thought I sucked and didn't want to have to sit through that again... My brother told me I was too loud, which was strange, because the entire time on stage I couldn't hear myself, and I had the reoccuring fear that the mic was getting plugged and unplugged... My announcements were good. I didn't do anything between Greg and Andi, and I only mentioned tipping the waitstaff between Andi and Brett. After Brett I plugged the website and the myspace. After it was all said and done, I reminded the audience of both, said everyone's name and got the heck off stage. Janine said my announcements were good, and that she was sorry she missed my set. Even some of the waitstaff thought I did a good job. I feel warm and fuzzy inside. Of course that could be the Taco Bell Chilito (Chili Cheese Burrito).

Disempowered
The scattering flock
Dances in a fever
At the Castle Rock

Have you ever emceed? I'd love advice. All you have to do is email me.

needs new headlights

Tonight I got on stage at the FunnyBone. I went up 12th and did a bunch of new material, which I am writing in my MySpace Blog. I would say half or more of my set was new material, which probably wasn't the best of ideas, but I feel like I'm in a weird writing slump right now where I can write, but nothing "speaks" to me. It's like I'm phoning it in, but I know I'm doing that, so I'm trying to find something worthwhile in the garbage that falls onto my pages. We'll see. I probably should have worked some material for tomorrow night (I'm emceeing at Westport tomorrow for The Disappointments). I just don't want Matt to think "Jeez, doesn't this guy write new stuff". Plus I want the material to be exciting to me. The more I do the same jokes, the less I enjoy them, which is why new material and switching material is such a good thing. If you don't enjoy doing your jokes, they audience certainly won't enjoy you doing your jokes. Right now my favorite joke is my Shampoo Dog call back. It's so silly to me, I just wish I had a way to punch that joke super hard at the end. The call back is great (I think it's my only real one) but an extra something super twisty and turny at the end would be even better.

If you're not on MySpace, you should be, so you can leave comments about my blog there. Otherwise you have no other choice but to email me the old school way.

do I look like a scooter person?

I didn't blog about Tuesday because I had to go to Cleveland for two friends' wedding. I wasn't on stage Tuesday, so it's not I'm not even going to try to recapture the "magic" of me sitting in the audience. However, tonight I went over to the Funny Bone to see Bob Biggerstaff and Eddie Gossling. Both guys crack me up every single time I see them. Eddie even remembered me, which is a huge compliment, he even called me by my website name. Some people do that, and it's very flattering because they remember me AND seem to compliment the domain name I chose.
Anyway, Jeff at the Bone said they needed an emcee and so he let me do it. I didn't have much notice and I (most disappointingly) didn't have my Voice Recoder or my Stop Watch. The crowd was a little stingy, but I got through my set and got compliments from Bob and Eddie. I did the announcements (which scare the bajesus out of me) and didn't mess anything up. My favorite part was Eddie's intro, which was "This guy went to Six Flags Friday and saw X-men III today. Oh yeah, you might have seen him on Comedy Central or Jimmy Kimmel Live... Eddie Gossling". That guy is ridiculous to an outrageous degree. Bob and Eddie are performing tomorrow (June 26th) at the Bone tomorrow. It'll be an amazing show and probably nearly if not completely sold out. Show up early.
Anyway, Tuesday is open mic, Wednesday is my emcee audition. Everyone's welcome to come laugh at me.

Been there, done that.

This weekend I was on stage at the Deja Vu in Columbia Missouri. I've been to the Vu a hundred times for comedy, but 99.9% of those times were when I was in college (before I started performing regularly) and I was usually just there to watch and get wasted. The few times I have been on at the Vu were either competitions (in which I never really did well) or the spotlights I got through Buzz. Anyway, it's been almost 2 years since I've been on at the Vu, and I've sent packages, made calls and generally harrassed the crap out of them for the last 12 months or so. This might sound weird, but I am glad it took so long. I say that because my spotlights went amazingly well. The first show, I got about 8 minutes. EIGHT! The crowd was pretty energetic, and they laughed at the right places to really make me feel welcome. I was more mobile on stage than usual because I didn't want to have a loud voice on stage with high energy and just stand around. I recorded audio, so I might pull a clip so and put it on my Myspace player (also available on my Media page). Matt, the manager, was doing the emceeing for the night and when I got off stage, he was very complimentary. Not to me face to face, but to the crowd. He said something like (and I hope I have it on audio) that I've come a long way in just a few years. I felt fuzzy inside.
Second show was a little rougher, the crowd wasn't as energetic (and they remained that way for the rest of the night) and I did some different material, so that I didn't seem like a one-set comic.
The feature for the weekend was Jeff Havers, who I met couple weeks ago at the Forum. Rob Little headlined. Both of the guys were super nice and each complimented at least one of my jokes. After the show, some friends of mine and I went downstairs to the Vu's dance club where I embarrassed myself on the dance floor and and still managed to gets some 'digits' from some 'ladies'.
Oh yeah, something really funny happened between the shows. During my tetris bit, I said that I "went back to" the Sams club in town (that's actually the one I used to work at). Between shows, some middle-aged women said that they saw me there, they thought that it was really funny. The thing is, I didn't go there. I was asleep on the couch...
I'm feeling really good about myself lately, I've had three "auditions" and have done well on all three. I have the one in Westport coming up, which is pretty nerve-wracking, but I'm not worried about my comedic set, just my emcee skills (or complete lack thereof).

this may sound crazy...

Clayton Champagne has more than once likened me to "B-Rabbit" from the movie 8 Mile, probably because I used to always have headphones on at the clubs. It's 4:35 in the morning on June 17th, and I have about 15 hours before the show at the Vu. It seems like the biggest thing in the world to me. I am nervous as all eff. The song Lose Yourself by Eminem from the aforementioned movie has the right idea. You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo.
Right now, I kind of wonder why we do it. We meaning comedians. Why do we subject ourselves to the opinions of others; why do we take a part of us, a part that we work very hard on, and allow people-who(for the most part)-don't-understand-how-hard-it-is-to-be-creative-and-create-something-like-this judge us. Everyone's different, I know; so the motives would reflect that. My motive, I guess is I like making people happy. I like making people laugh. And I want people to like me. And I'm not really good at anything else... OK, that last statement isn't exactly true, but it does illustrate my next point; comedians are crazy. Some are zany and wacky and nuts and bizarre and some are normal, or dark or angry or silly or clean or whatever. But all of us are crazy in some way or another. I mean I have terrible people skills, partly because I feel awkward in social situations, partly because I make myself stand out in social situations (which usually results in my feeling awkward). Another example would be the people who tried out for Last Comic Standing. Why subject yourself to such disappointment knowing that the chances of complete success (ie, winning the title of Last Comic Standing) are so slim? I mean when you play the lottery, they don't come kick you in the stomach and slash your tires.
I don't understand it, but I think I can accept that, because the payoff is sweet. I nailed the auditions in Wisconsin, I was nervous (not nearly as nervous as I am now) but the payoff made it all worth it. But there was work or a chance of work on the line. I get to work at those clubs now... There's nothing really to gain from my audition at the Vu... Other than being proud of myself, which as good as it is, doesn't really amount to much in the long run. I have a bad habit of focusing on negative results for long periods of time and promptly forgetting the achievements.
I think I could actually sleep now, the four RedBulls I drank are probably wearing off. The Vu will be an adventure. The nervous feeling is there, but for some reason it feels like it should be... I think the nervousness just makes victory all the more uhmazing... I love this game.

as I try to think of a title for this blog, my head hurts...

The thing I hate most about stand up comedy is doubting myself; I'm going to the Vu Saturday and I have to bring my absolute best game possible. I'm very nervous about it, way moreso than the Wisconsin auditions. The Deja Vu is my college town of Columbia, Missouri; I've been trying to get stage time there for about a year. I've been on before, I was in a couple competitions they had (never really placed or did well) and I had two spotlights with Buzz Sutherland, most of this before I moved to St. Louis and started doing comedy seriously. So since it has taken so long to get back on stage there, I really want to impress the club; I don't think they even useMCs, but it's just something I feel I have to do. Anyway, I know what jokes I want to do, provided I have the time:
Here's the list of the jokes that I think showcase my best self on stage:

Transportation Ferrari/Corolla
Drinking (Shampoo/Braille menus)
Celebate by Popular Demand (Email/Scorpion)
Porn (iPod)
Sams Club (Tetris)

I think that would be about a 6 to seven minute set, which will likely be too long. Unfortunately, I will not have email access from now until I get back home Sunday, otherwise I'd ask for suggestions...
Anyway, I was at Laughs tonight and took what Adam Lough called the "Trustee position" or "Trusting position" I don't really know... Either way, I went up first and did alright, but if I do as well Saturday as I did tonight, I will be frankly disappointed. Chad Huff says I'm too hard on myself, too critical. Yeah, but if I'm not... who will be?
Anyway, I'm excited about this weekend, and will probably blog about the show Sunday when I get home.

Well he's tellin' us this
And he's tellin' us that
Changes it ev'ry day
Says it doesn't matter

Email me Or Don't.

there are accents there, you know...

Today I got a call from the Deja Vu in Columbia and I was offered a spotlight for the early show on Saturday the 17th. The manager, Matt said I could likely do some time at the second show and I can say I am super excited about it. Since I went to college in Columbia, there's kind of a hero-returning-home feeling, though I am sure that can only lead to disappointment when everyone is like "Wait, who are you again?" Anyway, I will be appearing with Rob Little and Jeff Havers, who I met a couple weeks ago at the Comedy Forum. It should be a good show, come on out it you can make it...

Tonight, Gabe "Keg" Kea, Kevin White AKA Skippy the Kidd, and Mikey "I love America" Manker went to Springfield for their monthly contest. I got to go first again, and I did alright, except for one "new" bit that I have been trying out. I can't explain it in text because I'll come off as a racist, so likely the premise won't be in my repitoir long. Anyway, Kevin got third in the competition, and we played some foosball after the show with a guy who I think tried to sell us drugs. Anyway, it's late and I have to myspace my Deja Vu news...

Are you in Columbia Missouri? Tell me about how much you want to come to the show.Click here.

Like an icicle

Today I was feeling pretty low, mainly due to problems with ladies and such. Luckily I had my writing/therapy session with Janine Brito and we talked about stuff and tried to make the misery my life funny. In the meeting, Matt Behrens announced that the Funny Bone is looking for new MCs. And so in the coming weeks, they will be letting some of the open mikers emcee for a show or two or three. I didn't find out until after the show, but I'll be hosting Wednesday, June 28th at 8:00pm. Booyah.
In addition to that fantasticle news, I got some stage time tonight. Brett Clawson hosted; I went up third, after Janine Brito, Andy Faasen. I did about 2 and a half minutes of "new" material that I had only previously tried at the Forum. It wasn't great, but I feel I recovered nicely with a couple jokes about how bad I am with women. [Nervous] and [Math] if you're keeping score at home. It was a good time, and afterwards I sang Ice, Ice Baby at BackStreet for their karaoke night. Half way through the show, John Doelling, Dwayne Ingram, and Jef Urin rushed, the stage, danced with/freaked on/molested me and sang the song with me. Shenanicles.

A G-I-R-L-F-R-I-E-N in the astral plane...

Ever been to A-1-A Detroit Avenue? Let me know.

better late than never

I didn't have a chance to write about last night's show at the Bone, but I wasn't on stage and nothing much really happened... I did meet with Janine Brito and we went over some jokes that I was able to try out tonight... I haven't tried much new stuff out at the Forum, but I've been on a sort of writing block since I started going back (I am sure that's just a coincidence). I usually try to do what I consider my most "powerful" material at the given time, so that I can hopefully score some MC work. Faithful readers of my blog might remember my first and only MC adventure at teh Forum in November of '04. Anyway I tried a new Wresting Moves/Hillbillies and the Internet bit, a motorcylce/girlfriends bit, a boarding school/not-goot-with-ladies bit and a bit about fashion. I also did a joke I wrote at the bar while talking to Stevie P and Suzan. I closed on my Braille menus joke (and plugged my website where the call-back should have been). I had a lot of fun during my set. Mikey Manker and I rode together, so we left a little early. I won't be a Laughs tomorrow because I am going on a all-guys family float trip for the weekend... So that you don't miss me, take a look at this...

Six whole months I spent in Dublin,
Six whole months doing nothing at all
Six whole months I spent in Dublin,
Learning to dance for Lanigan's ball

Ok, listen up

Ok, I know I've been "lazy" with the typing lately, but I was out of town for 2 1/2 days and I "documented" my adventures. Hear all about my trip to the north in The Wisconsin Monoglogues, the first and probably only podcast/blogcast I'll ever do.

Comments? Let me know .