Not quite a record-setter

My girlfriend(Sarah)'s mom (Mrs. B) came into town last week and wanted to see me perform, so I asked Josh Arnold if I could go to Harry's on Thursday and perform with Clap for Joan. He said it would be fine, but that he personally would not be there. So Sarah, her mom, and I headed out to the hill for a show featuring Joe Murray, Kevin White, Brian Dowell and Jeff Wesselschmidt. Sarah and her mom were literally the only people in show/dining room and I had to bug a young couple in the bar-room to come over more than once. Eventually the bar-staff and a couple stragglers made their way into the room. I tried out a couple new bits and was surprised when Mrs. B didn't get offended by the vulgarity and strange sexual ideas some of the other guys had. Easily my favorite part of the night was when Kevin asked Mrs. B if he had a chance with her.

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Well, I ain't been home to see my baby,
in ninety nine and one half days.

It was funny when I said it.

Not being in a great mood can usually cause me to have a downright terrible set; but sometimes, all the anger, aggression (and possibly depression) in my no-hair big-eared head can lead to a weird presence of moxie that I do not normally possess. Tonight, the second was the case. I went up probably 8th or night at the Forum out of a list of 14, and just let my agitation push me through my jokes (some old, some completely new). I feel I had a very good set, though I cursed a lot, but that's how I was feeling at the time, and rather than "hide" (or whatever) how I was feeling, I threw it at the audience and had an ok time with it. I did record my set, if only for the newer jokes to see how I worded them, so I'll probably give that a listen tomorrow. It's not like I have anything else to do...

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TMI

Last night some radio DJ's judged a competition at the Funny Bone to see who could open up for the five Last Comic Standing finalists when they come to the Family Arena next month. Fortunately I got to perform, UNfortunately I had to go first. I had fun on stage and did my time (3:47 out of 4:00) but during my last joke or so, I heard a couple talking to my left. It was very distracting, but when I looked out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw one of the waitresses, and it's not like you can tell them to quiet down. I'm glad I didn't stick my foot in my mouth there. Anyway, my buddy John Doelling ended up winning the night (and he deserved it, he had a great set) so he'll get to go to the Arena on the 5th (I think). think last night I learned I'm not a "competition comedian". For one thing, I don't handle losing well, I beat myself up quite a bit and for another, I mean, I'm not going to win many contests; I don't see myself as that kind of "wow-your-socks-off comedian". But I do do see myself as a good comedian, and hopefully I'll be good enough to keep growing as a comic, and maybe eventually I can wow some people; competition or not.

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Yesterday was my last night in Milwaukee; and the shows were a lot of fun. JD had me make sure that I mentioned it was Sweetest Day, which apparently a big deal in Milwaukee and always falls on a Saturday (he said it was even bigger than Valentine's Day). First show, I did up front what I had previously done upfront AND between Jamie and Murv. That's kind of hard to describe in a sentence so; if I did jokes "A" before Jamie, and "B" between Jamie and Murv, then tonight I did "A" and "B" before Jamie and had to find something else to do before Scott. I pulled out the PhoneSex joke, and it went over well. The other three guys all had good sets and it made for a really fun show. Second show, Eric let me do all my time up front, which I was really excited about, but I couldn't really tell if I was doing well, since I couldn't hear the audience laughing. The door guys and Murv all told me I did well, so I'll believe them. During the last show, Eric grabbed Murv to pay him, and I figured he'd send Murv up to get me (I didn't figure they'd want me in the office at the same time) but Eric had actually asked me to go to. So apparently the door guys and Eric decided to play a little joke and tell me Eric left. Howard even asked me for my address so they could mail me a check. JD told me Eric was around, so I went to the office and he wasn't there. I went back up stairs, no Eric. They sent me back down stairs, and I asked the waitresses where Eric was and they said he was just there. I even looked under the desk in the office incase Eric was hiding there. Eventually I found him, and he paid me, which was cool. I was cool that the staff felt like they could joke around with me. After the show, Duke told me I did a good job and it was a pleasure to have me there. I told him I enjoyed being at the club and had a good time. I'm really looking forward to going back.

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Late Nights, Later Mornings

Last night's shows at the Comedy Cafe in beautiful downtown Milwaukee were good. Instead of doing all of my time up front like I did Thursday, Eric asked me to do a joke or two up front and then do a joke between each performer; which was pretty hard for me to pull off. I've often replied to new-open-mic-guys-who-complain-about-short-set-time-limits that if you can't be funny in three minutes, you need to work on that, maybe get a stronger opener. Something. So I feel kind of like a hypocrite when I say it's very hard to be funny in one minute. I feel less like a hypocrite, though when I add the fact that I'm going up between three other guys and trying to get the audience to shift gears twice.

Keep it going for Jamie everyone (applause), ok now shut up and listen to this one joke and then laugh at it and then make some noise for your next performer... Weird.

Anyway, the show was good though, and afterwards Murv and his buddy Tim and I headed back to the condo, watched some weird movie called Santa's Slay and ate some pizza and wings that Tim bought. I stayed up kind of late and slept in pretty late. Now I'm at Rochambo sucking up some free WiFi.

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I Feel Some Heat Is On My Back

BOOM! Big one for Thursday

I'm in Milwaukee this week, doing announcements for JD's Comedy Cafe. There's a lot of stuff going on that I normally don't have to deal with when I do open mics or when I work somewhere closer to home like the Comedy Forum or the Fairview Heights Funny Bone.
I took a bus to get up here, because I figured if I did that and watched my spending, I might actually walk away with a bit of cash; if I drove, literally every dollar I made would go to filling my car's gas tank. The bus left St. Louis bound for Chicago Wednedsay around 10:15, but somewhere around 3:00am, just outside of Champagne, IL. The bus's transmission went down. Around 7:30, another bus came to pick us up (and I was supposed to be on a bus at 7:15 in Chicago heading for my final destination, Milwaukee). When I finally got to the windy city, the people at the bus station were very helpful and I only had to wait about forty minutes to get on the way. When I finally got to Milwaukee, I caught a cab to the club, grabbed my key and tried to settle in.
The Condo here is pretty cool; at least I like it. I've heard other comics complain, but I suppose I'm still so "happy to be doing stand up for money" I don't agree with their arguments. This week, only myself and the Feature act, Murv Seymour, are staying in the condo, since the Headliner, Scott Henry, is from here and the opener, Jamie Cruz, is from Chicago (I believe).
The show last night was good over-all. Before the show, we heard that a group of nurses (about a hundred) were coming as an organized way to keep them entertained and relieve stress that probably comes with being a nurse. The entire crowd (which may or may not include the nurses) was very talkative during the beginning (meaning "my") part of the show. Literally, I had to start out saying:

"Hey everyone, welcome to the comedy cafe, Milwaukee's home of five star comedy for over two decades. We consistently bring you the funniest and best comics around and tonight is no exception. Your headliner tonight is a local boy, give it up for Scott Henry. And your Feature tonight comes to us from Tampa, FL, make some noise for Murv Seymour. Also in the show tonight, from Chicago is Jamie Cruz. My name is Marcus Robinson and I'll be your host and emcee for the evening.
At this time, the Comedy Cafe would like to remind you that if you have a cell phone or pager, please set those to vibrate or turn them off so as not to distract those around you, and for the enjoyment of all, please keep your table conversations to a minimum.
On your tables, you'll find these (I hold up a card) )Gold Cards, if you fill them out and give them to your waitress, you have a chance to get your bar-tab paid for tonight.
Lastly, if you want to find out about upcoming shows, visit the website, www.271joke.com or call the box office at 414.271.5653, that's 414.271.JOKE. Now, with all that out of the way, you guys ready to start the show?"

Literally throughout the first 60-70% of that, the crowd was talking (loudly); and when I finally got into my act (I only got to do about 4 bits) I couldn't really hear myself through the speakers, so I wasn't sure if the crowd could hear me. It was kind of unnerving at the time, and I think it may have caused me to yell a little bit too much. After the show, JD took us all out to dinner, and Murv commented later that I wasn't very talkative. Much of the conversation, though, revolved around automobiles (classics and such, mainly), sports and local businesses/clubs/celebrities. Since I didn't feel like I could contribute, I just listened and ate my steak (which was awesome, and I finished. Usually I have to take the leftovers home for lunch in Friday). When I got back to the condo, I realized I lost my key (probably somewhere in the club) and so I had to walk about 5-6 blocks to the bar and have Duke let me into the club so that I could get another key. I'm wearing that one around my neck on a string so I don't lose it... That's what I get for leaving my keys at home, I guess...

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Hurry up and wait

Last night at the Bone, there were a LOT of comics who showed up, and a good portion of them were pros, so during the meeting Matt said he might have to bump people, and he apologized for that. He asked if anyone had guests in the audience, and since I did I was hoping to make the list. For the first four or so comics, I didn't have a list to work from while keeping time, but around four or so comics in, Matt gave me a list and I was following Tommy Drake, who was next. My set was pretty good, it was just a hodge-podge of different jokes, none of them really related, but I had a good set. I'm still working on getting to some new clubs so that I can try to start emceeing more regularly. Complaining won't do any good, since this is obviously not an easy business in which to succeed, so I'll say I've made a couple contacts but so far none have really panned out the way I would have wished.

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No cake for me, thank you

Tonight's shows were a lot of fun at Mason City Limits; I omitted my Chubby Chaser joke and didn't suffer for it, and I changed the Nervous joke, and should be able to get that where it's comfortable in no time. I also added a bit about my friends giving me grief about not drinking and used a good word that Ryan and Chris suggested. During the first show, there was some guy (named Motor, apparently he's the town drunk) who piped up a couple of times during my set and then continuously throughout Tom's. He was very hard to understand, but Tom seemed to be having fun with it (though that might have just been how he wanted it to look). I don't know because he didn't mention it after the show. During the second show, there was a bachelorette party and they were a lot of fun. They laughed very loudly throughout both my set and Tom's. During the second show, I remembered to do my Tease joke, which is kind of old, but I'd really like to get it more polished, and I omitted the Chubby Chaser joke and switched the Nervous one. I wanted to mention a thing I remembered about a cousin of mine who's been engaged for a while, just to see if I could work a joke out on stage, but it slipped my mind. Hopefully blogging about it will make me remember to get on top of that.

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What's your price for flight?

21, hit me!

Last night I performed two shows at Mason City Limits with Tom Mabe (and had a really good time). I did about 21 minutes both shows, did fairly well, and got it on video. I was very excited because I didn't have to go to my set list at all. Tom Mabe was very cool, he had great things to say after both of the shows and gave me some advice about not making fun of fat girls as much (from my Chubby Chaser joke) and that girl with the Mole on her face with the hair coming out (from my Nervous talking to girls joke). He said he'd rather me work blue than attack someone who might be in the audience. It's always weird when you decide to stop doing a joke (for me) because that kind of leaves a hole that has to be filled with new material, and not being the greatest writer, that scares me. Two shows tonight, I'm looking forward to them, my camera's not playing nice with my lappy right now, I need to remember the trick I used last time to get it to work...

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Not today, little one

Last night I was extremely nervous about performing at the Deja Vu's stand up comedy competition. I had family coming to the show and was planning on doing my Mia Wallace (affair with a married woman) joke. Since that joke's based on a story I'm not entirely proud of (and one that I'm sure my family would not be proud of) I was a little rattled. That joke is one of my favorites, though, and even though I forgot to add the second half of it, it went over really well. The second reason I was anxious was because it was a competition at the Vu. There's nothing like going back to where you began and trying to show you've gotten better. The guys on Last Comic Standing sometimes said stuff like "If I make it this far, I can justify my decision to drop out of college and do comedy" or something like that. I don't think I had anything to prove to myself, but maybe to my family. I've always gotten the feeling that they don't think I'll make it, or maybe that it'll be too hard, or that I won't make enough money. They don't get it; I LOVE this game.
Mikey Manker and I destroyed last night; they didn't lower the house lights, so while I was on stage, I played the WHOLE audience, I panned left and right and made eye contact and used facial expressions and voice inflection more than I usually do. I got big laughs on my Advice joke and my smoking joke and walked off stage feeling like a million bucks. So I was a little disappointed that I didn't win. It was my third time in the Vu's competition and I've never made it past the first round... That's all I wanted this time. Just to come back. I might get that chance though, because the booker, Matt, mentioned doing something with the "local" talent when the competition is over; he also said he really liked my closing jokes. Sweet.
Nikki Glaser was featuring and Chris Porter was headlining (which is why I picked that week to compete, to hang with Nikki). The show was completely sold out (410 people) which is awesome, and afterwards, Mikey, Nikki and I hung out at the bar and talked for an hour or two. I didn't get home until 3:30am; so I barely had anytime this morning to goof off, watch TV, work on the tube radio, go to the Funny Bone and eat before packing and heading to Mason City.

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All being offensive gets you is lit-early.

Tonight was a light show at the Comedy Forum, we only had 14 comedians show up, and we started with an audience in the single digits. About two or three comics in, eight more people showed up, so that literally doubled the size of the audience. I hosted the show and did about eight minutes up front, I began by talking to a group of Communications Students from St. Charles Community College (they were there as a class for an assignment about communicating). I can't say that my bantering was amazing, but it made the other comics aware of why they were there and it allowed me to explain to them what an Open Mic is. My set was alright, I tried not to make eye contact with the students too much, because I didn't want to make them feel nervous or awkward, so for a while I would just stare at the back of the room and talk. They were fairly responsive, which was great, but I could tell that they lost some steam by the end of the night. Two or three times between the other comics, I did a couple more minutes of material, and got some laughs there too, so that felt really good. I got a couple of good comments in between the other comics too, so I was happy about that. Tomorrow I'm in Columbia and Friday and Saturday I'm in Mason City. I'm really looking forward to both of those.

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Good news all around

I forgot to sign up on the Funny Bone's website this week, but Matt was awesome and threw me up anyway. I went third, and had a great set; it was kind of a hodge podge of different jokes I've done recently. I added a bit to my Justin bit (the one about my friend quitting smoking by buying nasty cigarettes) where I keep nasty cigarettes just to give to people who bum from me. My Advice joke went over extremely well tonight, and that makes me feel really good. Probably the best news is that I talked to Chris Speyrer tonight up in Mason City and I got booked to work up there this Friday and Saturday. I'm very excited about that and will be dragging alone my video camera just incase I'm particularly hilarious.

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The weakend

The last night of the week at the comedy forum was alright. First show went alright, I am really starting to nail down my Record-setting-error joke. But the audience second show was just dumb. They missed a lot of my jokes and a lot of Marques' and Roger's. I remember once Roger actually stopped and mentioned his surprise that the audience was that slow. I laughed quite a bit at that. I recorded both shows and really wish I could get something usable in a emceeing-promo kind of way, but the videos aren't quite good enough yet.

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Sleeping Beast

Last night I wasn't even planning on doing half the jokes I did during the first show. I got it on tape, which is really cool because my Record-setting-error joke did really well. Bill and Jim returned to do spotlights for the first show, but neither did one during the second show, so I was able to run a little longer. The second show was definitely a lot of work, the audience was pretty touch and go, though there was that one stereotypical table of drunks that loved just about everything. Sadly, right beside them was a table of white-thugs who didn't crack a smile almost at all. I talked to one of the waitresses, though and she said they tipped really well, so I guess they weren't all bad.

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Same name, different spelling, both white, weird

Last night I got to emcee at the Comedy Forum for Marquez Bunn (pronounced Marcus, strangely enough) and Roger Radley (who headlined the night I auditioned at the Skyline in Appleton, WI). Bill Davis and Jim Stout stopped by to do spotlights and so we had five comics on the stage. There was also a raffle held by the Lindenwood Mens' Basketball team for an Ozzie Smith signed baseball, so I got to call up two of the coaches to announce the winner (who was the assistant coach's wife (Rigged?)). Before the show a couple of patrons recognized me from when I hosted with Dan O'Sullivan and remembered me being funny, which was pretty cool. Anyway, my set went well; and I got it on video, which is cool because the audience was pretty big especially for a Thursday night. I had to wake up super early to take Roger to the radio station, which was cool 'cause we got to shoot the bull (which is punny since we were going to The Bull). He seemed appreciative that I ran him over there and back and was punctual (early in fact). We have two shows tonight and two tomorrow, to which I'm looking forward. Grammar!

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Amnesia on stage

I freakin' hate it when I don't write about a show until days afterwards. I know I'm not going to remember any of the minute details that make the telling worth while. But since I am a lazy piece of crap, it's 40 hours after the Tuesday Open Mic and I'm just getting around to it. I asked Matt if I could do five minutes and prep for the Vu, and he said he was ok with that. According to RooftopComedy.com, I did 4:42 but forgot my PANTS joke. My set was alright, if I remember correctly, and since the crowd was smallish, I feel confident enough to say in front of a big crowd, I'll do great.
Last night at the Forum, I completely switched gears and did all my "getting fired" material; mainly because I wanted to try out my new material about getting fired from my last job. I remember workshopping something with Janine Tuesday about it, but I forgot what that was and so I was unable to end that bit with that line/tag/whatever. Anyway, I did my Phone Sex and Sams's Club stuff (with out the Tetris thing) and had a pretty good set; the crowd at the Forum last night was pretty good: well behaved, energetic and vocally appreciative of comedy, so it was a pretty good night. I'm hosting tonight, and it should be a lot of fun.

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