Emailling it in

Last night I was at Laughs; I went up first which wasn’t a terrible thing because there was a pretty decent sized crowd. I did a similar set to Tuesday’s, starting with my skiing material and going into my new coming out (or “Pro Homo” as I like to call it) material. That was followed by my high school stuff (I even added a little bit) and then some standard material on dating ([Nervous], [Advice and Math] and [Email]). I felt like I had a decent set, though one thing I know I need to work on is laughing-at-my-own-material. Last night I seemed to chuckle at least a little after almost every joke. That seems like I am trying too hard. Janine’s told me that before, and last night Mikey Manker pointed it out, so that’ll be something I concentrate on for a while. I typed out a joke or two and need to paste it into my Myspace blog. I linked to that blog below (and I used proper grammatical English). That’s reason enough to give it a click.

"It's enough"

Last night I went up third at the Funnybone. Dano Sullivan emceed, Gabe Kea led off, Jeff Wesselschmidt went next, then me. Before my set, I asked Matt Behrens if he’d watch my set as I spent about an hour in Starbucks working on the high school material that I work-shopped about a month ago. He said he would and that he’d grab Greg Warren as well. Though the crowd wasn’t the absolute best they were alright, I led off my set with my skiing material, and moved into a new bit about how coming out at Thanksgiving can cause you to get weird/bad presents at Christmas. Next I did my high school stuff, I didn’t have much of a segue (truthfully, I didn’t have one at all). And the high school stuff went alright; it needs some tweaking, some work and some memorization; but both Matt and Greg said that it was worth working on. After the show I did some karaoke, badly and then went home to watch some Josh Wheden’s Firefly.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

Visit RooftopComedy.com. Watch videos. Laugh. Feel warm and fuzzy.

LYRICS

Christmas Jam

Last night was the Christmas Jam at Laughs. It featured the beginners and intermediate classes from Bill Chott’s The Improv Trick and appearances by many members of many different troupes from the St. Louis Metropolitan Area. I only got to play in a handful of games, because some of them required a level of experience I haven’t reached yet. The games I did play in, though, were fun. Probably the best news of yesterday is that I got a new laptop bag from work and it holds all my comedy junk (laptop, pencase, index cards case, voice recorder etc). All I need is to hook it up with some sort of padding so my video camera will be safe and I’ll be good to go.
Oh yeah, if you’re reading this, please don’t steal my laptop bag. Thank you in advance.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

Visit RooftopComedy.com. Watch videos. Laugh. Feel warm and fuzzy.

better never than late

Janine and I left Milwaukee after the third show saturday (so, at about 1:30am) and we got to my place at around 7:00 at which point she went to her place and I passed out until noon. The entire trip this week was awesome. Friday's went well and I found a combination of jokes that 1) are pretty funny and 2) I can do in almost exactly 10 minutes (we're talking down to the second here). I got the first friday show and all three saturday shows on tape and will put at least one on my website. Joey Kola headlined Friday and Saturday and was really cool, he gave Janine and I advice, encouragment and genuinely seemed to enjoy talking with us after the shows. The crowds were all amazing (and except for the last show Saturday, they were all sold out or 95% capacity), but I still had a lot of butterflies in my stomach before the performances.
I waited to long to talk about the trip,so I can't remember too many specifics.

That's too bad.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

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Need more holiday jokes...

Last night I was at the Laughs on the Landing Improv Jam; the show started at 8:00 instead of 9:00 and I (and a few others) was (were) hoping it would still run until about midnight. We got done at about twenty after eleven, but the show was really good and I had a ton of fun. One of my "characters" wasn't as "good" as i had hoped; I started a scene where coffee (I think) was the theme and tried to appear jittery and jonesing for caffeine. I had some other good scenes, but you always concentrate on the ones that didn't go as well as planned.

Today, Janine and I drove to Milwaukee to work the week at JD's Comedy Cafe. The drive in was alright, and only took about six hours. We got to the condo and met Hector Rezzano who was going to headline tonight since Joey Kola wouldn't be in until tomorrow, and was going to feature the rest of the week. We got settled in, grabbed some groceries and headed over to the club. Somehow I though we were going over at 6:40 (more than an hour before the show) but we ended up there at 5:40. Eventually, we were briefed on what was going on and how much time we were supposed to do. It was Janine, myself, a Milwaukee native, James Berry, whom I've performed with here before. Jeff LeFleur and Tony Miller were co-featuring. Janine did really well with the announcements (there were a ton of them) and did five minutes (which was good as well). James went up and then I went up to do 15 minutes. I had some trouble getting my stop watch started, and I blanked once or twice on stage (but it was in the middle of a chuck so I had time to plan out my next bit or bits. I had to look at my cheat sheet once, which bugs me, because I didn't need it in Mason City. Admittedly, I was really nervous tonight. After my set, JD asked that I clean up my set a bit (The "bloody mess" line that I closed on got a pretty big groan) for the holidays. I think he was talking about that, as the pornographic material I did was pretty well received.

After the show, JD took us out to Pitches, a restaurant that stays open for him on Thursdays. He fed all the comics (steak and shrimp) and the food was amazing. I didn't finish my steak (I was unable to last time here also) but I got a doggie bag and it will make for a great lunch tomorrow. It's 12:45am and I'm going to bed. I will cut and paste this in tomorrow.Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

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Professionally unkempt

Last night was the show at Lloyd and Harry's. I worked blue and basically just tried out a bunch of new stuff. I did a couple faux shots with Clayton (his were fully loaded) and got at least one person to wonder if I was off the wagon. I hung out for a bit afterwards (I was pretty late as the workshop ran long), but Clayton understood. I'm trying to rework my old spanish idea and have to write 60 to 80 lines of dialouge to find 5 good ones (that's my final goal). As soon as I am done with my bread bowl from Panera, I'll get on that. I'm also working on what I call a "pro homo" joke; where I almost-defend homosexuals. It's really a joke about coming out, but I lampoon the outcome enough where I hopefully won't offend anyone. I've run it by a couple friends of mine (who are gay) and they're alright with the idea so far. Hopefully it'll turn into something instead of just falling flat.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

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Less ups than downs

Last night I went over to Fairview to catch Andy Woodhull and Rahn Ramey in action. I was kind of hoping to get a spot light or emcee the show; but Anthony said Dave would prefer to keep that kind of stuff limited to Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. The audience during the first show was pretty stingy with their chuckles, and before the show, some guy asked if he could propose to his girlfriend on stage. The club staff didn't want to let it happen, but they eventually agreed to it. When it came time, Rahn called the guy on stage and the guy proposed to a dude named Mike. He said that they met in the army, and I was kind of impressed, doing that in public. Then it turned out that Mike wasn't gay and it was abig hoax. Some sort of initiation, another audience member said. Needless to say, Rahn wasn't happy about it. Between shows, Anthony said that I could emcee that one, and Chad Huff showed up and Rahn had him to a guest spot. My set could have been better, but I got through it ok and I feel I did a good job on the announcements when it was time to do them, especially since no one told me what to say; I heard Andy do them first show (because he had to do that since it was a 2 man show) so I knew what comics to plug and the website/comment cards are a given. But then I also had to do the Kilo Diabetes Foundation announcement, which I usually stumble over. I did it last night though and did well enough that I'm not beating myself up over it...
Anyway, that was last night, it was fun and i got to work with Andy and Rahn.

One thing I remembered last night was: the last time I worked in Fairview was with Andy and Rahn. So last night was like a small reunion tour.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.


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50% off.

I didn’t have a chance to get on the internet after work last night so I didn’t have a chance to write about Wednesday’s Improv Jam at Laughs on the Landing. Like last week, there were way more improvers than audience members, but we had more improvers so I didn’t have to participate as much. I’m really enjoying the improve, I just don’t want to “hog the stage” and since I’m not as polished as some of the others, I don’t want to annoy people by throwing them off. Mikey Manker showed up a bit of the way through, and during a couple of exercises/games he would pull me on stage; which circumvented the me-hogging-the-stage theory.
Last night I was at Laughs again, for their open mic. I went up about 9th, and the audience wasn’t real pumped up. Mikey and Kevin went before me and had good sets though, so that helped me out considerably, especially since I was trying a bunch of new stuff. The audience was pretty responsive to my set; I opened up talking about the Christmas party at my new job, and how we were allowed to drink on the clock for about five hours. I told the story about how a booker thought I was black (because of my name) and the story about me getting “cigarette-raped”. I really wanted to work on my Disney stuff, so I did my skiing material (and since it was cold, it kind of fit it) to serve as a lead-in. The blind-skier joke got an almost-applause-break. I say almost because it wasn’t during one of my “final” punch lines, it was right after I said “the next thing you know, I’m going down hill, with no one around, yelling out ‘DARIN! THIS ISN’T FUNNY ANYMORE”. I just thought of the “this isn’t funny anymore” line on stage last night. I like it and I think I’ll keep it. Sadly I didn’t get the set on video or voice-recorder. I thought about taking my camera, but didn’t want to mess around with it. I wish I would have because I like to know how I did some of the new jokes/bits.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

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My car didn't blow up on the way!

I got a call Friday to feature Saturday at Mason City Limits in Illinois. The club's run by Chris Spreyrer, a comic I've worked with before, and I've been up there a couple times. It's a sweet room, a little small, but comfortable, even with smaller audiences. I was working with Greg Lausch, and the first show we had consisted of 6 people. But they laughed like 8 people, so it was fun. Greg and I swapped stories, and he beat me saying he once performed for a married couple, whereas my smallest audience was 4 at the Red Sea on the St. Louis Loop. The second show saturday, I did 20 minutes to an audience of about 80 people. The show went really well and afterwards, Greg said that my blind skier joke was written perfectly. Compliments are always really motivating, but compliments from headliners are in a class of their own, needless to say I was pretty happy. We stayed up until about 3 at the apartment above the club with Chris and Ryan (the bartender/jack of all trades (who made me a dvd of when I featured for Henry Phillips)). It was a good time, and they booked me to come back in February. I'm pretty excited, and really want to get another 3 or so minutes before then...

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

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Learning to be a Professional Extrovert

Last night I headed down to Laughs on the Landing. Since I'm in an Improv class I decided to head down to their open jam. I only knew Warren Arnold (who lead the show) so I was a little out of my comfort zone. Especially since the few people I didn recognize from the Beginner's class were actually experienced and on at the Beginner's class to refresh the basics. There were a total of 12 people who got on stage throughout the night, and I think we had 3 audience members, which made it more like a class than anything. That was a big relief, since I'm not very comfortable with Improv (hence, why I am taking it). Anyway, the night got over around midnight, which is really late for me, but it was pretty cool, and Warren said I did "fine", which is way better than how I thought that I did...

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

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I’m sick of not living to stay alive

Applied Sciences

Last night I got on at Lloyd and Harry's. And the place was packed! Brian Dowell went up right as I showed up; and had a good set. It seemed to me that the crowd would be "easy". I was hoping to get some good laughs from my new Disney joke, but I rushed through my entire set, and so I didn't get the laughs that I was hoping would come. One thing I know off stage is that there is a difference between being excited and talking fast (fastly?). On stage, however, I can't seem to grasp that idea, and usually when I want to express excitement, I go Full Throttle. Sometimes, I'm able to keep everything in check, and I know that makes for a better set; but applying what I know, that's a different story altogether.
I'm at the Bone right now, mooching internet from the Conference center; I wasn't on last week, so hopefully I'll get up tonight. I'd like to get one more chance at the Disney World stuff tonight; and maybe my Spanish stuff, I want to add to that...

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

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Get it on. Right on. What do you want?
I wanna get it on. Right on.

Late fees

I missed talking about Monday, yesterday.
I'm working on a bunch of stuff about my highschool. I went up at Lloyd and Harry's and opened by saying I didn't want to do material, just wanted to tell stories from school. That didn't work too well, so I busted out some stuff on Disney World. Since I hadn't planned on doing "stand up" I was already cursing, so my set was pretty blue. But I got laughs at punchlines and I'm kind of excited about my Disney World stories (about how I went once when I was three, and didn't get to go when I was eighteen).
I'll be posting that stuff on my
MySpace blog soon, maybe.
I didn't get up at the Bone last night, so no new experiences to talk about there. Tomorrow's Thanksgiving and so no show at the Landing...

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LYRICS

Excitement is the key

Friday and Saturday I got to host at Laughs on the Landing with Todd Link and David Graham. Friday's show didn't go as well as I had hoped, Bos told me to do between 10 and 20, so I did about 15; but it didn't seen like the audience was with me. Saturday I decided to try a good 10 instead of a decnet 15; I went up with energy and excitement and had a much better set. As an emcee the one thing I want to nail down is bringing people to the stage; I always trip over words and it's annoying. It's dumb because it's not like there's a certain phrase I have to use, just "Please Welcome" or "Make some noise for..."
I suppose it'll come with time. Usually, I get better after the first show, which sucks because Laughs only does two on the weekend, so I don't have much time to reap the benefits of experience...

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

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Wesselschmidt did it again!

Last night's crowd at the landing was tough. I tried too much new stuff in one set and did the joke about cancer that I am working on. Not surprisingly, it didn't really go over. I'm not sure if I can fake the enthusiasm and goofiness needed to sell the joke. I'm emceeing at the Landing this weekend; will probably stick to the rehearsed jokes and save the new ones for Monday.

I ran my cancer joke by some other comics at www.RoadComics.com. You can read what people have said (and what I replied) here.

South for the Winter

Last night was one weird open mic. The crowd started out alright, but then about 8 people showed up late, sat in the front and kind of threw off the momentum of the show. The first 6 to 10 people or so didn't have too much going against them, but it seemed that about after that, it was like iceskating uphill. I started my set (I went up about 12th) with my brownies joke, did my lightening joke, and talked abit about Disney World. I'm working on some new jokes, and as much as I didn't want to try them in front of such a rough crowd, I figured I wasn't going to kill even if i pulled out my 'A' material. Anyway, I got actual laughs and could tell that the audience was paying attention, so that felt good. Yesterday I talked to Jeff Jones from the Loony Bins and got booked for December 6th through the 9th in Little Rock, AK. I'm pretty excited about it, especially since I am working at the Landing this weekend, and possibly in Milwaukee December 14th through the 16th.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

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the Brownie method

I've been writing more and talking to other comics lately. I've been pitching premises and jokes and I still haven't gotten a recognizable joke. I was writing with Joe Lehnig and Keith Cissell, and Keith said that one premise I had would be really good in Six Months. Six? Months? Last night I hit Lloyd and Harry's and tried a couple new jokes, but they didn't go anywhere; one is about my highschool. But I used to do jokes on the same topic, so I'm having a hard time not telling them the way I used to.
I think the problem is: none of my high school experiences seem weird to me (even though I went to a religious all-male boarding school). I'd kind of like to tell the story the way I do my Dominoe's Brownies joke. If I can get it to that weird/rediculous level, I might be happy.

w00t

Thursday was my first visit to Laughs on the landing in a couple of weeks, so I was really excited to get on stage there, especially since I had a new joke or two I wanted to try out. The crowd was kind of weird, and some people talked through a bit of my set, but I had a chance to shut them up without cussing, which I thought was good experience,
I've been writing about my high school experiences lately (I lived in an all male religious boarding school, and I tried out a couple of things. I also tried a new bit about my mom passing away from colon cancer. It's a very touchy subject, and I'm not entirely sure my family would approve, but I'm not being a jerk in the joke; or at least I don't think I am. Those people talked through the setup, so I didn't get any reaction at all... but I didn't get groans ot boos, so I consider that a bonus of sorts.
Anyway, the show was alright, and we had a bunch of new/fresh(?) comedians. Also, I got booked for next weekend (the 17th and 18th) there hosting. I'm excited; it should be a pretty good time.

straight ticket communist style

Whenever I check my email, I only have about 5 minutes before the people at Panera kick me out for not buying anything. That's why I am not often able to blog in my free time...
Monday night I emceed the Lloyd and Harry's show, and had a good set. I remember doing my Education Major jokes and Mike Howington was like "I like those, are they new?", to which I confessed they were not new, I just haven't done them in a while.
Tuesday (last night) I went up at the Bone; the crowd was small, but every responsive. Dano Sullivan emceed the show, which may have had something to do with it. My set was really good; and I got some cool advice from Gabe Kea on my email joke. I closed on it, and laughed at it myself after I delivered the final punch; and Gabe said it's too funny to do that. I don't need to "trick" the audience into laughing on that joke, and I shouldn't rush them by trying. It was cool advice, so hopefully I'll remember that next time I do it. I lead into the joke differently too, putting it after my [Nervous] and [Advice] bits. I usually put that at the beginning of my "bad with ladies" chunk, but I like it in the middle/end.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

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My grandma was there

Yesterday, I got a call from Ryan over at Mason City Limits. He had called last week to see if I was available to come up and fill some time on their weekend shows. Sadly I was not, because of the private party I was doing. Well, yesterday, Ryan said that Henry Phillips was headlining at MCL and he would likely be running late. So they called me.

Yeah.

I said I would be glad to come by: I left work at about 4:00 or so, and dropped by my condo, grabbed my GPS and my book-bag (but strangely, not my Index Cards, which arrived in the mail Wendesday. I left those at home). Anyway, I was about 50 miles into Illinois when I noticed the temperature gauge on my car getting a little close to (and then a little past) the red line. I turned on the heater full blast (to pull heat away from the engine) and pulled over at the next exit that had a gas station/convenience store. One of the clerks there was outside smoking and helped me a bit with my car, she ended up calling some dude (her brother, or boyfriend, I don’t know…) and gave me some ideas. It was a call to my dad, though, that told me what I needed.
-Get Engine Coolant,
-Put said Coolant in the radiator.
-Be careful. If radiator is hot, steam will come out of cap.
-Steam can hurt.

and so on…

Anyway, I lost about 40 or so minutes getting my car fixed up (but it worked for the rest of the drive to Mason City) and I made it on time for the show. I had a bit of time to jot some quick notes (remember how I didn’t have my index cards?). Chris Speyrer hosted, Ryan did about 10 minutes, and then I went on. Chris brought me on as the “feature” which was kind of weird, but I did about 23 minutes and had a great time. The crowd (which consisted of about 50 people) were pretty vocal with their laughs. When I was finally off stage, Chris said that was the best set he had seen me do.

Nice.

Henry said he enjoyed it too, which really felt good. One of the best parts, though, is that Ryan video recorded my set. He said he’d get me a copy, so I should have something to play around with on my new Mac and post to my website (and my MySpace). I’m kind of excited because I got the Mac so that I could video edit and made a new demo tape. Now I’m going to get to practice. The set from last night might not be perfect for a promo package, but it is something to learn how to edit. And as a nerd, that’s all I need.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.


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One little chap then had a mishap Broke off his horse's head
Wept for his toy then cried with joy As his young playmate said

fealing grey

I caught the show at the Bone last night, which I normally don't do on Mondays as it makes me late for the Lloyd and Harry's show. I showed up a little after ten, I think, and caught Brian Dowell's set. He was doing well, so I had high hopes for the audience. Especially since I wanted to try some new stuff out. But when I got on stage, the audience didn't seem that participatory; which really sucks. After my set, some guy told me I had the best timing he had seen of anyone on stage.
Generally I would have accepted the compliment gratefully, but after having eatin it for about six minutes, I simply wasn't in the mood for some drunk dude. I asked what he was talking about, and then he gave me the best advice I've every gotten¹. He said: Drop the bit about the kids, man, I think it made people uncomfortable. (breathe in)

I DIDN'T DO ANY JOKES ABOUT KIDS LAST NIGHT

(breathe out) Maybe he was talking about my new Jesus joke (which you can check out on my MySpace page). I don't know. Anyway, I hung out for a bit and borrowed a CD from Stevie P. I've listened to it a couple times, I have to say: it's alright.
Anyway, there's no show tonight as it's Halloween, so I'm not sure what I'll be doing. Likely grocery shopping and other capital L-lame stuff. Maybe I'll get inspired for a new Bucket of Fish. I hope so.

¹ The fact that I have to mention that this is sarcasm saddens me a bit.
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Cookin' raw with the Brooklyn boy

3 shows enter, 1 blog leave

Last night, the Cardinals game got over around 11:00 or so. Minutes later, the Cocktail hour at Laughs on the Landing started. We had, to my knowledge, 1 audience member who was not a comic. I didn't stay very long as I had work this morning (my last day at Express Scripts) and didn't want to be late and get accused of not-caring...

[it's now Monday, as I didn't have time to finish my thoughts on Thursday night, I seemed to have forgotten everything I wanted to say. I know I tried a couple new jokes (I know, to an all comic crowd, good idea, right?), but some of them got laughs and whatnot. I'll likely try them again soon...]

Saturday night I had two shows: TWO! One was a private party for a coworker's brother. I was booked to do about 20 to 30 minutes in Eureka (two words, BIG HOUSE!). I showed up a little early and hung out, I was the only person not in costume, so I kind of stuck out, but I didn't care. My set went pretty well, the host of teh party, Matt, thought that I did very well and said if he ever wanted something like that again, he'd give ma a call. Nice.
I split out of the party at about 11:10pm and headed down to the Landing, where I was in a showcase with Janine, Gabe, The Dizz, Adam and Jeff Wesselschmidt. I went up first (after Adam) and had a pretty decent set. This weekend's really helped my confidence, as I have been in a sort of slump lately. The show room had about 20 people in it, but i got audible laughs, which really helped. I did forget to try out a new joke I've been working on, and I really need to get on that as i want to work it out before I forget... Tomorrow, I'll try to get it on my myspace blog, but mooching internet at Panera makes it hard to kick these things out. I should probably just email it to myself and cut and paste it. There's an idea...

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

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I could get a haircut, and I'd give up the video games

Hit F9 to send email.

Monday was the weekly show at Lloyd and Harry's. Brian Dowell hosted, and I went up second to last. We didn't have many comics near the start of the show, but as it got closer, probably three or four more walked in. The crowd was kind of big, but a little unruly until they got fed up and left. So when I was on stage, I kind of had an easier time than the guys who kicked off the show. I'm working on some new jokes (I know, it's about time), but am not sure what perspective to take on a few of them. Lately it seems I have a lot of good ideas (ok, some good ideas) but I don't know how to develope them to their fullest. I'm nto sure if that's a weakness in my writing or a weakness in my general creativity, but I've been running stuff by Janine as usual and that seems to help. Brian Dowell also had a good idea for my new Male-Actors joke; which I freewrote about yesterday. No show at the Bone last night, Janine, Andy Faasen and I were there just in case; I ended up watching game 3 of the series with Matt and Scott over at Back Street. I don't know a lot about baseball, so I asked some questions (many of them probably very stupid). The game was pretty good, though I was told it was not as emotion as games 1 and 2. No show next Tuesday either, as it's Halloween. Not much else going on, I went through my voice recordings on my phone (my voice recorder is full and acting up so I can't upload/empty it). A couple good ideas I'll be working on. Hopefully they'll be funny enough to get on stage or at least try out on my MySpace blog. We'll see.

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I'm a Genius.

I lefe my Index-Card-Box of jokes in Bloomington Thursday.
I called and they said they would mail it to me.
I said I would pay for the shipping.
No telling when it will get here.

Take a spoonful of sugar with a grain of salt

Yesterday, I left work early. All of my coworkers were going to play Demolition Ball as some sort of reward/team building exercise. Because 1) I am not officially part of the department, 2) I am quitting, and 3) my boss was gone yesterday (and is gone today), I was not invited to go play so I took the afternoon off. I eventually got an invitation to go play, but I had plans to meet Janine and Gabe and head over to Bloomington, IL to test out the new stage at the Castle, where the FunnyBone now resides.
The trip was pretty fun, and I'm not just saying that because Janine and Gabe read my blog. The ride up was fun, though I almost killed us once, and we talked shop, worked on a couple of jokes and generally just shot the bull. When we arrived in Bloomington, we ate at a place called the PotBelly, where they served very good sub sandwiches and pretzels and mr. pibb. At the Funnybone, teh opening order was me, Janine, Gabe then Rick Gutierrez. My set was good (so said Janine and Gabe) but I wanted to work on some re-written porn material and I should have done my Halloween stuff. Janine had a good set, as did Gabe, though when he was finished the emcee was nowhere around, so after a bit of empty-stage time, Gabe brought Ricki up.
The sound system was weird, very loud. I could really hear myself on stage, and it kind of threw me; I'm still not entirely used to hearing myself speak through a sound system (and not even close to hearing myself on audio or video). After the show, Don said would like Janine, Gabe and I to come up more often and open in the Springfield and Bloomington clubs, which would be really cool. I really want to start getting 10 to 15 minute sets more often so that featuring won't seem like such a scary ordeal.
Anyway I didn't get in until about 1:00am, so I'm running on even less sleep than normal and don't have much else to write about.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

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they won't be pretty

I just looked at my blog, and realized I haven't posted anything in 8 days. Wow. Quick re-cap, then:

Thursday: Craig Gass headlined a "special" open mic at Laughs on the landing. 6 or 7 open micers got to do sets to open up for him. We had 8 audience members, he called it the worst show of his life. Not sure if that's disrespectful or if he was bonding with the audience.

Monday: Lloyd and Harry's. The show was good. I'm not sure if it's doing anything for my confidence, though. Since I've been working on being more conversational (which for some reason seems to mean less energetic) and since I work clean (though I am not sure if that has anything to do with it) it seems like I'm getting less of a responce from the audience, especially compared to the dirtier comics. Since working blue is out of teh option, maybe more energy...

Tuesday: Last night I was on at the Bone; tenth or eleventh. I had four jokes I wanted to work on; and I went quick (like a bunny) only doing about 2:50. I'm still working on my stage persona. Chad Huff talked to me a bit about in, which inspired a new Bucket of Fish comic. The only problem is, I don't have a decent drawing program for my Mac yet. Once I get one, I've got about three strips I want to do.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

Visit RooftopComedy.com. Watch videos. Laugh. Feel warm and fuzzy.

I can't make it work your way
Thanks but no thanks

web.mac.com/marcusisfunny

I was working on my website a lot this weekend and hopefully I'll have the new one up on my .Mac address soon. All the website working (and the fact I don't have internet at home) led to my not blogging about Saturday at the Landing. My bad. Saturday I hosted the 10:00pm show at the Landing for Kevin "Squishy Man" Barber and Stevie Caminiti. Janine hosted Friday and I heard very good things about her performance, which is cool. I think mine was a little rougher. There were a couple of minutes where it seemed the audience didn't want much to do with me, I had them laughing at some places, but not consistantly and certainly not contantly. They were weird.
Last night I was at Lloyd and Harry's with Jeff Wesselschmidt, Dan Walsh, Nick D, and Clayton. We had a small audience, and again, they laughed at parts of my set, but not all of it. I've been working on being conversational on stage, but I'm wondering if I'm too 'passive', in that I don't have the strength of voice or pressence that people care what I have to say. I wanted to try a joke last night, and it was in the back of my head before the show, but I completely forgot once it all started. I did get to try my new Child Abuse Prevention Awareness month joke, and I was thinking about my email joke-I think I'm going to stop keeping it recent. Instead of "I got dumped this week", just saying "I got dumped in an email once...". Show at the Bone tonight; Longhorn invited me out to his show, which would make for a long night, but I might stop by, he's invited me out numerous times. I guess I should find the address he wrote down... that might help.

?

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

[insert funny here]

Last night, I got to host at the Landing. I also had to make the list, whichis pretty stressful, as far as I'm concerned. Adam is letting me help with the pre-show meetings now, which is cool; but it's weird because I'm trying to do a good job. Adam and I decided if people don't make it to the meeting, they get put at the bottom, the later you show up, the later you go up. So if the meeting starts and we have 19 comics (plus one host) then whoever walks is after the meeting is 20th. So I have to make a list 1-19, and a list 20++. I don't want to short any of the 1-19's, so making sure I write every name once is kind of tricky, especially since I have bad handwriting.
Anyway, I basically ate it for my set. Either that crowd was collectively PMSing or my mood really showed on stage (I was not in a good mood after more than one person complained about their place on the list. Most of them let it go, after they saw I was serious, but one just kept hounding me to move them. Sorry, no). Anyway the show had about 25 comics in it and was pretty good. The crowd warmed up about 5 or 6 comics in, and the rest of the show went pretty well. I did forget one guy's name, which was embarrassing, but I'm terrible with names, so I hope he didn't take it as an insult.
One piece of good news; Adam asked me to host Saturday at the Landing. I'll be working with Steve Caminti and Kevin Barber aka "Squishy Man".
One piece of news news; my website might go offline for a bit, I'm transfering over to my .Mac account (http://web.mac.com/marcusisfunny and dropping my current web hosting provider, in the mean time I have to rebuild my site because if iWeb (the software that came with my MacBook) doesn't support the current styles and layout. I'll try to keep the blog up, even if I have to use the Blogger.Com's server.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

That was a tasty burger.

Last night was Nikki Glaser's going away party/open mic at Lloyd and Harry's. I showed up at about 9:10 and Clayton handed me the list, which meant I was emceeing. My sets at Lloyd and Harry's are pretty polar, (one weak: strong / next week: terrible) so emceeing wasn't exactly what I wanted (eating it up front). But I was in a pretty good mood last night and I went up, did about 9:45 and had fun. I worked on the Child Abuse joke from Mason City, and a couple other things. I goofed off a bit, but enjoyed it. The crowd was mainly comics and regulars so it's not like I had a bunch of new or "surprising" material, but it was a good time nonetheless.

Check out my MySpace blog for jokes on which I'm working.

"Relax" dijo el portero
Por mi es honor recibir
Puede salir cuando quiere
Pero nunca yo partir

*beep* You have no Friends

Friday night I drove out to Mason City Limits to do a spotlight with Nikki Wilhelmina Glaser and Rob Busboom. The room was run by Chris Speyrer (who I have worked with before) and Dr. Gonzo. I did a spot for both shows and the crowds, though small, were good. The room itself was really cool, very well decorated and had an intimate feel (it sat about 90 to 100).
Before the show, I saw a weird advertisment/poster in a window and told Nikki about it and a joke I had come up with; she tagged it (once or twice) and helped me get it into an order I liked and I tried it out second show (I'd type it out here, but I'm planning on dropping it in my Myspace blog...). Anyway, the club was really cool, and I had a good time. They offered to let me crash and drive home Saturday, but my new laptop was calling (I didn't bring it because I figured they wouldn't have an internet connection, turns out they had wireless!). Stupid me. Strangely though, the city didn't have a cellular tower for Sprint (only Cingular, I think) so my phone didn't work. It was good to know I didn't miss anything, though. I got back home safely and pretty much just hung out at the Bone for the rest of the weekend.
Alright, time to do some "work"...

More than jokes

[Chronologically]
Dan Swartwout from The Bill and Dan Showdid a guest set Wednesday night at the Funny Bone. I'm a big fan of the show, have written in a couple emails (some of which have been read on the show) and it was cool to meet Dan. We talked some shop at BackStreet after the show, and the part I liked best was something like this:

< Dan > Young comics say they want to be like Comic X¹. But he didn't start off doing his current act. He started out doing impressions of his dad. Eventually his act evolved to where it is by trying different things on stage and keeping the ones he liked. You can't say 'I want to be like' so and so and disregard everything that's not that style. You have to throw everything against the wall and see what sticks. < /Dan >

I found my Digital Voice Recorder yesterday. It was in a pair of shoes that I wore to the Vu Thursday. I bought a MacBook (with a printer/scanner, some blank DVDs, a wireless network thing and some other neat stuff). I found out that I get up to a gig on an Apple Server, from which I can host a website. So I'll be changing hosting providers soon, which may cause MarcusIsFunny.com to go offline for a bit. I might also loose some email functionality.
Adam Lough invited me to make the list last night at Laughs on the Landing last night, and asked me to be more involved with the Cocktail Hour goings-on. Adam said he liked it when I posted the people's times on my blog, but I'm not sure if that's the best place for them, so when I move servers I'll likely redesign my website (and I might throw in a page for that). I could also just open a new blog under my current account. Then I could have an archive. Hrmmm.
I did a lot of hobo jokes last night. I just had a bunch of ideas (and one story that my brother told me) and wanted talk it out on stage. I'm not sure where the setup/punch are there, so it's an organizational thing right now more than a finding-details one. Anyway, my set was alright considering we had five non-comic audience members when I was on stage. Tonight I have a spotlight in Mason City, IL with Nikki Glaser. Hopefully I'll be able to split out of work a little early and get on the road before traffic gets insane. Tomorrow I am either working on my car, doing laundry or playing with the new Macbook. I'm likely going to have to go to Westport or somewhere where I can mooch some wifi. I just want to get the email and stuff setup (and check the myspace) and then I can go home and goof off with Garage Band and stuff. I can't wait...

¹I think he was talking about Bill Hicks, but I am not sure. More than one professional comedian would serve in this example.

pretty colors

Last night my friend Janine got to MC the Funny Bone open mic. She did a good job, too, especially when she brought me on stage. Not only was her intro good, and her technique flawless, but she brought me on stage, which really helped in her over-all score. I'm working on this bit about hobos getting harrassed by the police and it's a little weird. I tried it out last night, along with my Dominoes Brownies bit. I also threw in my Halloween, Christmas and Easter jokes. 'Tis the season...
I also did a Friday the 13th line, since it's coming up in about 2 weeks. It went like this; "I celebrate Friday the 13th, too. I like to dress up and kill teenagers". My set was alright, I would really like to get a new closer or find something else that's strong enough to end a five-minute set. For emceeing, the Tetris thing still works, but I'm not doing that at every open mic.
One important piece of Marcus news; I returned my Charter cable modem yesterday. So I don't have internet at home anymore. My intent is to save money and get a laptop that I can use on the road and at St. Louis Bread Co/Panera and mooch internet like that. I'm hoping it works out, 'cause if it does, I get a laptop!

Hey Peter man!

I think my attitude is getting worse, due largely to my dissatisfaction at work. Last night I was at Lloyd and Harry's and for some reason I got on a rank while talking to Stevie P about how much I "sacrafice"₁ for comedy and how I think I should be getting more than I am. And while I believe I should be getting more paid stage-time (at least a little more) I don't think I should be getting all-bitter and telling people about it.

Anyway, on to my set: I really want to be a more reflective comic, personable and stuff. I tried that approach last night, and it didn't exactly work the way I had hoped. Granted, Lloyd and Harry's isn't the best place for laid-back mic control, especially when you're going on stage after Brett Clawson, who did got a literal boat-load of laughs but is not the most subtle. I caught a little Live At Gotham this morning, and was amazed by the writing of the comics I saw. They weren't just about real situations that happened to them, but were about minor
real situations. Things that others might look past. It's kind of frustrating, or I'm kind of greedy, because I don't know ultimately what I want to talk about (or how I want to do it) but I know I always want to do what impresses me (so, pretty much everything) and I know I want to be good at it (funny and relatable).

Sometimes I start my blogs with a question or problem I'm having, and I think very rarely do I come to any conclusion. I kind of feel like Doogie Houser. Only without a Doctor's salary...
₁ In retrospect, I was probably being a whiney baby...

Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down

Thursday night I got to go to Columbia, MO and do a spot light with Dan Cummins and Louis Ramey. Louis is one of my comedic heroes, you can read why here. Dan is an impressive comedian too, he's one of the more creative writers I've met. Matt at the Vu let me do about five and I did well, despite distractions;
-I wasn't on stage Tuesday or Wednesday, so I didn't feel 'fresh'
-I had college friends in the audience.
My set went well, but I closed on my pharmacy-job joke, which isn't all that strong of a closer. I just didn't want to close on Tetris, I think Columbia's seen that one a few times. I looked, but couldn't find any audio from the last time I was there. Come to think of it, I can't find my audio recorder right now I should look for that...
Anyway, Thursday was awesome, I got to share the stage with Louis, I got on stage (in Columbia, which is always a big deal to me) and I had a good set.

Last night I was at the Funny Bone with Janine but the first show was super-packed and so we hung out at Starbucks a bit and then I stayed for the second show, which was also packed. I did get a seat by some people who wouldn't stop talking, but I was able to hear Stewart Huff's set. The midnight show was really good too; but I may be biased since I did a guest set. I watched Chad Huff (who was emceeing) and he seemed really laid back on stage, and I knew Stewart works with a very calm demeaner, so I tried my hand at it. And I really liked it. I thought of the show at the Landing that I emceed, where I just wanted to relate to the audience; I kind of like it. Ricky Gutierrez reminds me a lot of John Morgan; by that I mean the audience loves him. Both Morgan and Gutierrez can go from poop jokes and blue-humor to talking about family and never miss a beat. I would like that ability to relate to the audience. I really want to be able to do that. I mean anyone can talk about relationships, but it has to be hard to expose yourself (not like that!) and really get people to laugh (both with you and at you) and understand who you. Maybe that's why Ricky and John are so popular with crowds and successful. I was looking at the ClustrMap of my blog and I saw that I have new views from Africa and Asia. I'd kind of like someone in Greenland or Iceland to check out the blog, or maybe Irkutst. So if you know anyone, email them a link and say, "Hey, just click on it".

Stupid and lazy

something awesome and something equally crappy happened last night at the bone. matt behrens asked me to keep time for the competition to pick an emcee for the bud light real men of comedy tour stop in st louis. matt and greg warren then joked about how i was the "best" or most dependable light guy in the business and how 2 lights meant "you'll never work in this town again". it was really funny, and made me feel like they did appreciate me working the candles. there were only five contestants on the list for the competition, so i asked matt if i should have submitted a tape (the deadline was sept the 8th (by b-day) and i was busy with a ton of other crap at the time and really didn't think i would stand a chance getting into the competition). matt said i should have submitted a tape and i felt bad. lazy really. all i had to do was drop a lousy tape in the mail. i'm really not going to beat myself up over it, but it would have been good exposure *i mean i would have been on stage in front of the bud light people), it would have been more competition experience and it would have been more practice for thursday at the vu.

Candy, candy, costumes

Last night at Lloyd and Harry's I busted out my Halloween material. It's been a while since I've performed those jokes, but I ran through them in my head most of yesterday and am pretty happy with the results. Since I was in the Holiday spirit, I did my Christmas ([air hockey] and [pokémon]) and Easter jokes. Since I'm still tweaking it, I also talked about Dominoes brownies. The crowd was slightly apatehtic, so I was really just on stage for myself, but I think if I work on the Holiday stuff for the next month or so, I might be able to bring that material to the level I feel my newer stuff is at.
I was talking to Janine yesterday and it's as if my older material doesn't reflect my abilities now, but I need to keep it around for my over-all total. I don't want to have "filler" as an open mic-er and would prefer to have as little as possible when I start featuring, but the writing process is so hard, and it takes so long to generate quality bits that I almost feel like I have to keep some of my older material around. The most discouraging thing is when I hear professionals talk about how much they think I should write. One guy said three to five hours a day. And that would be possible if I didn't have to eat, clean my house, goto a day job 5 days a week, hit all the open mics and sleep. I do try to write an hour a day (ok, an hour each weekday), so hopefully when I do quit my day job, I can keep that habit and expand to more writing each day. I think what I need are writing exercises. One friend of mine said he has a check-list that he runs through on a daily basis; on exercise on the list is an hour of free-writing (wow). I usually can go for about a page, which is like 5 minutes-worth. An hour is probably a bit out of my league. For now.

late like Alice

Last night's show at the landing wasn't bad. We didnt have near the number of comics we had last week, but we didn't have near the audience we had two nights ago. I ended up going first, but since I wanted to keep within the alotted time frame, I didn't try to connect with the audience the way I did Wednesday. Janine and I requested some bits for each other and so I had a list of what I wanted which might have been a bad choice. It doesn't matter, but the audience wasn't really with me, and so the set didn't go as well as I had hoped. I was concentrating really hard on remembering and wording a new tag for my email joke, which did distract me from much of my performance, so hopefully next time around, I'll have the delivery for that joke down and I'll be back up to speed. I think the people I like to watch the most are the ones who are the most consistant (on their side). The comics, and this does include some open mic-ers, who keep it tight and controlled on their end (despite how the audience reacts) can be the best to watch and the ones to learn from.

Way way behind

OK, so it's Wednesday night, and I STILL didn't put down anything about Friday's shows (where I hosted at the Westport Funnybone for my birthday). First of all, my dad, brother Darin, sister Cheryl, her husband Doug, my Aunt Millie and her husband (my Uncle) E.J. all came out. Also, my buddies Leroy and Christina came to watch the show; and they picked a good one. I didn't necessarily drive home the parts where I brought Joe Marlotti, Jeremy Essig or Dan Grueter to the stage, but my jokes felt good and were well recieved by the audience. My family seemed to have fun, but most of them haven't seen me in a long long time, so the progress I've made is probably more noticable to them. My sister had actually never seen me perform before, so that was cool. My family didn't stick for the second show, which is understandable, but that one went well too, I feel.
Monday night I was late to the show at Lloyd and Harry's because I was in a car accident on the bridge going into St. Charles. Some guy rear-ended my Corolla while I was sitting behind an SUV in the right most lane of the highway. My car's been totalled out, which sucks, and we didn't have a show that night because there wasn't an audience. As soon as the accident happened (I'm alright, by the way), I called Clayton to tell him I might not make it. 911? No. Family? No. Who'd I call? The guy running the show that night. There's a lesson there, but I'm too dizzy to figure it out.
Tuesday's show at the Bone was less stellar than Friday's. We had little to no audience, which happens, so Matt had all the comics sit "closer". None of them were really that close, but the Bull Pen was empty. My set was alright, though a couple of the guys really stepped up and did well for such a small audience. I tried a couple new jokes and tried something about the car-totalling experience. Needless to say, it probably won't make the cut.
Tonight I did a special show at the Landing. Myself, Janine Brito, Josh Arnold, Adam Lough and Mikey Manker did about 8 to 10 each for an in-town group of business peoples. I got to host, which was cool, and I tried my best to "connect" with the audience. I talked more personably than usual, and tried to make my jokes seem relatable. I wanted the audience to trust me, and trust that I was going to bring them a good show with good comedians. So everytime they saw me come back on stage, I wanted them to go, "Oh, it's Marcus, I like him, what's he have for me now..." or something like that. I did a little over 10 minutes but did about 7 minutes worth of jokes, the rest of it all was me catering to the crowd. There weren't a lot of people in the audience, but I think I made them feel like that was ok. In any case, everyone had a good set, and the people stuck around for the improv troupe that was scheduled behind us. I have a rental car now, so I picked up Janine and Lauren and we rode to and from the Landing together. Anyway, I have to myspace a bit and watch some tv before turn into a pumpkin (it's late).
Hopefully I can start blogging at work again; I've been so busy there, I haven't had time to goof off more...

Thanks for reading..

Scarlet Letter Style

Last night (Wednesday) I called Adam Lough to see if I could host the Cocktail Hour at Laughs on the Landing tonight (Thursday). He didn't have a problem with it, and so when I showed up, I got a list of names and checked people off as they came in. Janine and I were trying to work on some jokes, so it was a little difficult to concentrate, but we got through and had the meeting just before the show.
The owners at Laughs set it up so all the comics who want on get on; it keeps people in the showroom and bar buying drinks, so it's cool. However no one wants to be last, so it's not always an easy task making an order. And tonight I had to do it. To keep it "fair", people who were not in the meeting got put on a second list, and were added as they showed up. It sucked because I had to put comics I like, respect and hang-out with in tougher/less-pleasant spots. A couple people asked to be moved and I wouldn't move them. I did move Clayton, because Mike Strantz was taping his set, and was leaving before Clayton's originally-slotted time, but Clayton stayed for 95% of the show, so I don't feel guilty about that. Anyway, my set was alright, I did about 5 minutes (which is more than the 4 minute limit we were working with tonight, but usually the emcee does a bit more time). Besides, I didn't want to start the night ending my set with a joke that didn't "hit". Anyway, the times and comics went like this.
Marcus Robinson 4:51
1. Kevin W 4:10
2. Mike S 3:10
3. Joe M 5:40
4. Thersa 4:10
5. Andy F 3:15
6. Howard Van B 3:47
7. Brian D 4:45
8. Craig M 4:06
9. Clayton C as Skippy DooLittle 3:41
10. Mike S 4:40
11. Mikey M 4:49
12. Mike H 3:35
13. Chris T 3:44
14. Adam L 4:17
15. Buddy 3:41
16. Nick D 4:01
17. Joe T 2:19
18. Joe H 4:19
19. Josh A 5:42
20. Andy 3:20
21. Janine B 3:23
22. Dre 4:22
23. A.C. missing
24. Leeman 4:07
25. Monrey 3:00
26. Ken C 4:28
27. Nikki G 4:17
28. John D 3:41
29. J.R.
30. Anthony J
31. LC M 8:16
32. D Dan missing
33. Chad H
34. Longhorn 5:06
35. Gabe K

Under 4:10 is green, between 4:11 and 5:00 is yellow, anything above that is red. I messed up a couple of times, and didn't write them down (missing), and a couple of people either weren't there when I called their names or told me to take them off the list. I didn't spell out everyone's last names, because incase anyone ego-surfs (Googles themself) I don't want them to find out that way... Then again, maybe I should have; we could make big red "O"'s for people to where because they went over the light. Hester Prynn would approve.
Anyway, I gained a ton of respect for Adam who runs the Cocktail hour usually, because it was frustrating and very difficult to go up and down and up and down and keep it rolling and still maintain composure. Booze probably would have helped...
Anyway, it's late, and I am hungry. PB Sandwiches, then bed.

Are you happy now, Stevie P?

I never finished out my Milwaukee trip blog. Saturday's shows were good, though we had some talkers in the second show. Blatent talkers. In the first row. Brian and Robert kind of let them have it. I also got a speeding ticket on the way home. 73 in a 55. It was in Milwaukee, on one of their major roads and I was just keeping up with traffic (maybe passing some of the other cars). The lady cop asked why I thought she pulled me over, and I was like "speeding, I guess" and I wasn't being a jerk, I had NO IDEA it was a 55 mph zone... So there's a couple hundred bucks I guess I really didn't need.

I just got back from the Bone, where I went up 9th and did all new jokes. (New meaning written in the last month). I have this Dominoes Brownies joke that I really like, and one about work (you can read them on my MySpace blog) and I like them both, but a couple of other jokes I've been working on probably need to be cut. My time was getting near the end and I finished on a wedding joke, which might have potential but essentiall fell flat, so it kind of left a sour taste in my mouth. Who knows. The crowd tonight was small, but some comics really connected and got them into the show, so it wasn't so bad. I think my Brownies joke was well recieved, though I forgot the word "Mutant", which apparently Janine was waiting for... It won't happen again.

Anyway, it's late and I have about 10 hours of Dark Angel to wade through, so I better get to my TV and then to bed. No show tomorrow, and I am debating going to the Reverand Horton Heat concert, but I'll likely end up at the Bone just to hang out.

Spartan Comedy Tour

I really need a laptop. If I had one, I could:
a) blog when I am on the road
b) work on projects when I am on the road
My Wednesday 'audition' went very well in Southbend. Cassie, the assistant manager, was working and a bit before showtime asked if I could do about 15 minutes up front. The feature act, Jason Benci, was running a bit late. I ended up doing 19 or 20 minutes and then brought him up. He was appreciative, as was Cassie. Hopefully that made a good impression on her and I'll get to come back and perform there again. The headliner Steve Brewer was very funny (so was Jason) and since I ended up staying at the Condo that night, I got a chance to talk shop with them. I talked to Steve about my organizational tool and he gave me some great ideas on how to improve it and get even more organized. Since I am a nerd, I'm pretty excited about it.
Thurday's show in Milwaukee (for me) was rough at best. The music and announcements are standard and it doesn't say, "now your host and emcee", it just kind of starts the show, so I was about 5 to 7 seconds late getting to the stage. Also, the announcements on the sheet they gave me were a little weird, so it threw me. Duke asked me to do about 5 up front and then a bit or two between the comics. I pretty much screwed that up. The jokes I did, though, went over well, though, and all the other performers, Brian Aldrich, James Berry (who was doing a guest spot, and I have met before) Mario Digiorgio and Robert Mac were did well. Afterwareds, JD took us out to dinner, which was really good, and I ended up having leftovers for lunch. They were good.
Friday's shows (last night) were fun. I did much better and did 10 up front. I nailed the announcements, though I went 30 seconds over because I forgot to start my stopwatch. Second show was good, and I switched up my material a bit. I'm hoping to do at least one or two "different" bits each show tonight.

tip the waitstaff

Last night, Scott gave me 7 minutes at the open mic, I only used 5:50, but I was able to try out a couple jokes new to the Bone. I wrote this thing on Dominoes Brownies, which you can read on my myspaceblog, and I tried out my Work is like Prison comparison. My lightening joke worked out alright, though I think a little different setup is needed to really get the joke rolling. You can watch last night's clip on RooftopComedy, the audience was pretty small (I'd say 20 or less), but I had fun with it, and even had a 'conversation' with a guy in the audience during a joke. After each sentence he would reply, for example;
me: I like money.
dude: me too.
me: but money's hard to come by.
dude: yeah it is.
me: that's why I have a job.
dude: I have a job

...and so on.
Again, you can watch the entire exchange on RooftopComedy. Pete Lytle gave me a heads up last night saying that Southbend is in a different time zone, so I should probably leave an hour earlier than I expected. My boss is going to love that news, I'm sure. Probably as much as he loves my blogging on the clock. I got confirmation and some instructions yesterday about Milwaukee, turns out I'm doing the announcements, so I won't have much of a chance to spread the funny to the masses, but it should be a good chance to get that kind of experience. Optimism.
Anyway, I should probably get to work (and by that I mean go to the break room and get some coffee).
He gon' make it into a Benz out of that Datson

I won't have the ability to check my email until Sunday, regardless of internet access, but you can email me anyway.

boom goes the dynamite

Real quick, The Tick Vs. Season One is out on DVD, which is perfect if you're not poor as crap right now or you don't have the Disney Channel... Moving on...
Last night I was at Lloyd and Harry's, John Doelling was hosting and I had about 4 newish bits I wanted to work on. Clayton got on before me and berated some people in the back for talking through his set, and when I got on stage I followed suit. I'm not sure if it was because a) Clayton did it, or because b) I couldn't concentrate or a combination of both, but I went off on the guy who was talking. And I dropped a lot of F-bombs. Eventually I got his attention and told hims to shut it, and when he finally walked out, he gave me the finger. I really didn't get a chance to work on anything; which sucks because if I'm on at the Bone tonight, I'll need to prepare for Southbend and Milwaukee. At the end of the night, John, Gabe and Nikki walked me out to my bike, I'm not sure if it was because the dude I yelled at was HUGE or because it was on the way to their car.

I got on stage second to the end last night. Throughout the night, the audience had shrunk a bit, which was ok, because the rude, talkative bunch in the "VIP" lounge area left or something. I opened with my Lightening joke and performed some mid-flight recalculations verbage-wise. I should listen to the audio, because I liked how it sounded. I think I followed that with a joke about the Federal Meth-offenders list (new) and a joke comparing my office-job to prison (also new, thank you very much). Then I did some nervous-with-ladies jokes. I felt it was pretty good for being so near the end, especially since I had new material. The prison joke is kind of big, and I actually did it from memory, which made me happy. I need to start thinking about my emcee set for Southbend Wednesday, and I'm wondering what I'll be doing in Milwaukee; they have a guy who is strictly announcements, then an opener (5-7-10) and the feature and headliner. I hope I open, because I'd get to work on material, but if I do announcments, that wouldn't be a waste.

out too late for me

I didn't get on stage Tuesday, but I was writing with Janine and I really think I am getting out of my writer's block. I've got about two or so jokes I'm working on, which is exciting, I don't know if they'll make the final cut, but working on a joke and just getting the creativity out is at least comforting.
Last night I was at the Bone and Joe Lehnig asked if I wanted to go to T. Billy Buffett's for their comedy show. Having never been, I agreed to go. We were supposed to be there by 8:30 because the show started at 9:00, but were were a little late and arrived maybe at 8:40 or so. Apparently it was a contest, so we had to ante up five bucks each and fill out some paperwork. A bunch of other comics were there, and at about 9:20 or so, I decided to start a pool to see when the show was actually going to start. I took a piece of paper and setup 7, 10-minute ranges from the 9:30 to 10:40. Nikki Glaser, Brian Dowell, Mike Howington, myself and Joe Lehnig all threw in a buck and then I bought the remaining two spaces. Strangely enough, watching the guys running the show goof off with the mic, postpone the start and give excruciatingly long announcements was now kind of entertaining. Nikki Glaser won the seven bucks because the Chel'le got on stage between 9:50 and 10:00.

As for the contest, we had about 3 and a half minutes, I rushed through mine and didn't have a closer (Tetris really didn't seem like it was going to work). A couple comics said I had a good set, but I sincerally think they were just being nice. I don't remember who all made the "finals" on Sunday, but I do remember of the 10 who made the Apollo-style judging, 4 were from the Bone; Brian Dowell, Joe Lehnig, Mike "Mild Sauce" Strantz and John Doelling. All in all, it was an experience, but I know I would have gotten to bed before 1:00am if I had just stayed and watched James Johann.

nice montage

I can't stop reading KenIsAVerb... it's probably the only blog I read regularly (because it's updated regularly). It's good, that's all I can say. I finally got ahold of the Southbend Funnybone, and have an audition next Wednedsay teh 30th while on my way to Milwaukee. Bill from Barrel of Laughs (also near Chicago) called me back and ok'd my spotlighting up there on a Wednesday, which means I'll likely drive up there just for that, unless I can get something else in the area around the same time. Two new clubs, I'm excited. I was at Lloyd and Harry's last night, and worked on a couple new jokes, one which might have potential. My writer's block might be fading away, which would be cool. I noticed yesterday my brain was "cloudy" and I couldn't really concentrate on being creative with the work I was doing. The show last night was fun, the PA system was literally falling apart in my hands, but the crowd listened and laughed, which is the goal. I also worked on my "joke first ask questions later" theory. I did my one-legged skier joke once and an ampute was in the audience (she only had one leg). "To be more careful" I hypothesized to bar patrons, "should I do that before every joke?", I answered my own question, yes and tried it out, " So are there any fat broads in the audience?".
Charter's coming out today to "fix" my internet. Again. I have to leave work early, which is getting to be annoying. I know my boss isn't realy happy with it, but it's not like it was my choice to leave early and have to stay late tomorrow or something. If Charter doesn't get it up and running today I am buying a laptop.

speechless

Last night was my roast at the Landing. It was awesome, and I was very impressed with the material everyone came up with and the work they put in. I really can't go into the digs the other comics had, because it just wouldn't do them justice, but needless to say; they were funny and I had a great time.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who made it (and those who wanted to be there, but couldn't make it).

on second thought...

Last night I was slated for 21st on the Comedy Forum open mic list. Usually at that point in the show, the crowd's ready to go and not exactly paying attention (in my experiences, I've found this to be true for all open mics, so I'm not just-bad mouthing the Forum, far from it). Add the lateness of the show to the fact that all of Stevie P's friends left when he was done (who could blame them, really, it was late) and all of Josh's friends left after his set (I directly followed him too, so the exodus during my set gave me that special, heart-warming feeling only felt during Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney duos) and you have the perfect formula for me to go up and self destruct. Burning bridges. Why not just go after the audience? That's what I normally do; but not last night. I took my stage time seriously and actually did my set. Sometimes I let those kind of circumstances agitate me, so I end up working blue, but not last night. I don't remember my set's order, but I know my black-name, jeeves, motorcycle, scorpion and email bits made appearances. I felt like I did alright too, all things considered.

I didn't blog yesterday; of course I wasn't on stage Tuesday, so I didn't have anything really to put down about the show. The thing right now that's dominating my life in comedy is: Severe writer's block

The writer's block started a couple of weeks ago. Janine and I meet every day at Starbucks and pitch jokes and work on bits. I haven't brought a "new" bit that's even remotely salvageble in at least a week or two. I used to "free write" before we got started, but now even that's becoming hard to do. It's like I can't start my brain thinking about comedy because it's so congested with all types of other crap, some of it personal, some work related, and some envolving comedy. It's disheartening to say the least, especially when I see other guys with new bits and it doesn't seem like I'm producing.

my planet hollywood joke

According to Blogger, this is my 366th post. With just over 2 years of blogging, that comes out to just under one post every other day. That makes me think that I have way too much free time.
Last night I was at Lloyd and Harry's along with a bunch of other comics. Nikki Glaser is in town for the week, and she John Doelling and Jeff Uren came out for the show. Since she won't be at my roast, I did my 2 jokes about her, the second of which seemed to really make her laugh. She then proceeded to do about 4 or 5 on me. Nice. As for the rest of my set, I think my stage pressence or lack of energy is the source of my dissatisfaction. I could have done better, it's not like I did poorly; I just would have preferred that I did better.
Still no internet at my condo, which is not fun. Another call and service appointment might do something, if not, I would like some money back, Charter.
Good news; Friday, September 8th I get to host both show at the Westport Funny Bone. It's my birthday and it's going to be fun. I'll be working with Joe Marlotti and Dan Groeter. That's all the info I have now, I should really get to work...

$0.38 each? Hmmm

I'm gooffing off at working now, wishing I could grab some clicky-pens with my web site address on them. But I don't feel like dropping a hundred bucks/ :(
Last night I was at the landing, and I had a good set. I went up and started with my skiing material, which I haven't dusted off in a while (unless you count Monday). Warren told me he could tell I was "excited" about my material. On Monday Anthony Joplin reminded me Monday of the one-legged lady that heard my one-legged skier joke. Last night I proposed to the crowd that I should ask is anyone is in the room before I make fun of them. I had already done the one-legged skier joke, so I asked if there were any "fat broads" in the room. No one piped up, so I did some fat jokes.
I'm really excited about my roast. Take a look at this!
I've been writing about my friends and peers and I think it's going to be a lot of fun; Mikey Manker used the word viscious last night, though, so I can only imagine what he's going to say. I'm not worried or nervous, though; I mean if anyone can take a joke (or insult) it's me. OK, I should get back to work now, the Rapid Improvement Team (like the Bobs in Office Space) keep bugging me and I'm surfing the net... real professional.

Turn left at 1950

Writing with Janine yesterday, I spent almost all of my efforts concentrating on my upcoming Roast (August 17th, Laughs on the Landing, you should come if you can make it). I had a list of people I figured would roast me, (Adam Lough, Gabe Kea, Janine Brito, Mikey Manker, Warren Love Hewitt, and Kevin White) and I called Warren and got some more names, Craig Mayhem, Josh Arnold, Ken JR. and Joe Hartenstein. I was a little nervous as I've been drawing a lot of blanks trying to think of stuff about these guys, but adding 4 more actually made it easier.
Tommy Johnigan came out to Westport last night, did a bunch of new material and returned a pair of shoes I left in his backseat. Since he can't make the roast, I asked that he record something, and we could just play the recording. I think that would be really funny, plus Tommy has a lot of experience roasting me. Unofficially, of course.
I was on stage last night and my lightening joke got a decent responce, despite the general tightness of the crowd. I also set up my motorcycle joke a little differently (I set it up like the scorpion joke, as I just wanted to get it out). Then I talked about my trip to Brazil, which didn't really go anywhere at all really. I'm not all that great at stage-stories, and I ended up with my black-name joke. And I ended up going over my time (4:14 total). I didn't hang aroung the club long, but Gabe, Tommy and his girlfriend (Heidi) and I talked for about 15 to 20 minutes in the parking lot. I got home to my no A/C and watched some Last Comic Standing; Chris Porter got eliminated?
OK, I've met both Josh Blue and Ty Barnett and they're both great guys and great comics, but I can already hear the remarks: He only won because he's a cripple, or he only won because he's black. What about, he won because he was funny, original and likeable? My favorite part is: look at the top three. None of them are from LA or New York (originally). That makes me smile.

:D

ANYTHING for a joke

Not having internet at my condo is increasingly frustrating. Supposidly I have someone coming over Saturday (between 8am and 12) to take a look. What they're going to find is anyone's guess. I know they won't like my setup, though. I re-wired my condo when I bought it, adding coaxil, telephone, and ethernet "drops" in five places throughout the unit. They will undoubtedly say, splitting the cables weakens the signal. Uh huh, and what about when I don't split the cable and go straight to the modem? Thought so.
Saturday's shows in Appleton were by far the best of the week. Cliff had nice things to say about me, which was cool. I already recieved an email about future bookings, I might get one by the end of the year. The drive back to St Louis was terrible. It rained almost the entire way, which was not cool. But I got home safe and didn't get any speeding tickets (which I most-definately deserved). Sunday I hung out at the Funny Bone and watched Gabe emcee for Brett Clawson and Mark Sweeney. I would have liked to watch Eddie Goessling last night, but I went to Lloyd and Harry's for the open mic.
Clayton let me emcee, and I had a good set. I had a lot of fun, tried my lightening joke and talked about my trip to the Salan in Appleton. "Manscaping", It's a weird subject, and I want to talk about it on stage - but certain things might be to "personal". However, I firmly contend that I can talk about waxing body hair in a non-graphic non-disgusting manner.
Having just finished that last paragraph, I wonder if anyone in my family reads this stuff. I dount they do; some of my family members take an interest in my comedy, but it's usually limited to "Any shows recently?". Any detail I go into is usually for my own benefit, it seems. I have a long standing tradition of embarrassing my family (or at least provoking them to say I am embarrassing them), and so revealing that I took a trip to Brazil might be a bit more than they want the world to know about me.

Two nights and a first ever...

I missed out on blogging yesterday (about Thursday's show). The show was alright, the crowd was a bit better than Wednesday, though not as large. I'm beginning to think I'm in a kind of slump, which sucks big time because I'm working. After the shows Rio and I hit some more bars and clubs and ended up staying out really late and watching some guy get arrested in the bar. Ha!
I woke up early on Friday and went to the radio station with Kjell, I wanted to see what it was like and didn't expect anything more. But then the DJs asked if I wanted a mic and a headset. And then I got to be on the radio!!! It was awesome, during songs, we'd BS with the DJs (Ross and Lynn on 105.7 WAPL, and Roxanne and Bill on 94.7 WAZR) and they'd find out what we wanted to talk about. Kjell ended up hitting on the weather girl (on the air) using a pick up line he uses on stage. She wasnt in the studio, so he got away with it-I was cracking up in the background.
Last night (Friday) the two shows were kind of rough; Kjell kept saying being an emcee is like being baptizted by fire. I tried a bunch of different material, and skipped talking to the crowd, in hopes of jarring the audience into paying attention. Mission: failed. I think talking to the audience is a better method, especially with some advice from Kjell: When going to the audience, always pick people in the front row. If you corner them, they have to respond. I was asking the general audience, and so (I guess) no one wanted to answer because they were waiting for someone else to answer. In anycase, I'll be playing with the audience tonight for at least the first show. Hopefully they'll lead me into something out of my catalog. I'm sure I can steer the dialogue in that direction...
Anyway, it's time for dinner, so I have to eat...

It takes a backwash man to sing a backwash soul
Like a frying pan when the fire's gone
Driving my pig while the bands taking pictures in the grass
And my radio's smashed

If you have any comments about this blog; please email me.

I just did soume laundry...

I'm in Appleton, Wisconsin right now. It's Thursday about noon and I'm writing on an Apple laptop. It's nice. And not mine. The laptop belings to Kjell Bjorgen (pronounced "Chell be your gen" (the 'G' is "hard"). Last nights show (which featured Mario "Rio" Hamhill) was pretty weird. The crowd was kind of touchy, and I was very preoccupied with getting all the announcements out: there were a lot of announcements. I went to the audience at the beginning of my set, but they didn't really give up too much information.

me: it's your birthday? How old are you?
birthday person: X years old.
me: you get anything good for your birthday?
birthday person: no.
me: wow, your friends suck. How about you? How old are you?
birthday person: X years old.
me: you get anything good for your birthday?
birthday person: no.
me: ok... uh next!

I didn't watch the show very much as I was studying my notes and talking to Mike Prell (a local comic and bouncer at the Skyline). What parts of their set I did catch were pretty funny.

After the show, the three of us hit a couple different clubs (Hill Creek and the Fire Alarm) and stayed out pretty late, and we had a pretty cool time and likely we're in for a late night tonight. This is my first experience in a condo and really spending time with the comics with whom I am working and I was nervous, because I've heard some bad stories from other comics about how they didn't get along with the people they stayed with.

Time shmime

I missed talking about the midnight guest set I did saturday, but the only real thing I learned was I need to start preparing my sets. I blanked at least twice on stage, which is near-unexcusable as far as I am concerned...
Tonight I made the list for the show and did about 3 and a half minutes of jokes. I did my new lightening joke, and it got laughs, which is more than I can say for the rest of my set (the crowd was uber-rough). Anyway, thish is going to be short because I have no A/C, my internet is acting upity (typing this is notepad, will cut and paste later) and I have to get to bed so I can wake up early, move my car, pack and head to Appleton.

the negative rewards of waiting

Last night Adam Lough held a meeting before the show at Laughs. He said that he received nineteen votes for 15 4-5 minute sets and three votes for 20 3-4 minute sets. Hopefully that will mean shorter shows from now on, even if I'm not getting on every time. I tried 2 new bits last night and forgot about my lightening joke altogether. One of my new bits was on ski-ball, and the other was an extension of stuff I "acquire" while drinking. Both are kind of funny, but it will be at least a couple weeks before I know how I feel about those bits (due partly because I won't be performing them in Appleton). I'm working on making some t-shirts; not so much merch to sell after a show, but shirts that say funny stuff on them and have a small MarcusIsFunny logo on the back. I'm thinking ringers and stuff I can wear under other button-up shirts. I think I need an artist to do some work for me, if anyone's interested, uh, email me.

Sometimes you're at your best
When you look the worst

a champion among dorks

My internet is very sketchy at home right now. I think I need a Bidirectional Co Axle Splitter to allow my internet and television cable to live in harmony. Also, as of yesterday or so, my A/C is broken. I think I know what the problem is, because I paid some dude to come out and fix the same problem last month. He said something about a wire being broken and he "forced" it back into it's rubber insulation. Rewiring is out of the question, so he just kind-of-fixed it and then kind-of-chardged-me a hundred bucks.
The Funny Bone contest finals were held last night. Gabe Kea, Rob Durham, Clayton Champagne, Keith Ciessel, Bill Davis and Chad Huff all competed and Keith, Gabe and Chad went home with some money (Keith was first; Gabe second, Chad third). It was a good show, each guy did about ten minutes and the crowd was very receptive. But who tabulated all the judges and audience votes? Why none other than me, Marcus. St Louis comedian and nerd. ¹
I was thinking about it when a couple days ago; the box office at the Funny Bone has MSExcel installed on it. Why couldn't we just 10-key the scores into a spreadsheet and sum (or average) them up? Just label a couple columns, set a couple of rows aside for averages and run with it. So I asked Matt, and he said it sounded like a good idea. But since the judges got 50% of the votes, I had to set those equal to the entire audience. Since this is what I do at work (besides blog, that is), I knew what to do. Set up 1 averages for the judges, set up one for the audience. Then average those numbers for a final score. I was too busy entering the numbers to see if anyone jumped into the lead or if there was any back and forth as the numbers were entered (I froze the panes so Matt could see the numbers as I went). It took longer to enter the 150+ sheets that were turned in than I expected, but it was better than last week when we had to count stuff by hand. The pie charts and bar graphs were probably a little overkill. Oh yeah, speaking of work, I should probably start since I am typing this while clocked in. Hey, I'm on break [uses shifty eye].

-----------
1. I usually call myself a 'dork' since I like cartoons and toys and sci-fi. To me, nerds are usually more intellectual, with the pocket protectors, retainers and stuff like that. I see dorks moer as the sci-fi nerds who like the internet and their computers way too much. Then again, I am footnoting my blog, how nerdy is that?²
2. Pretty Nerdy.
3. For more Dork Vs. Nerd talk, check out what E has to say, or check out what Wikipedia has to say on the subject (be sure to check out the comic on that page).

Ext. 201!

We had a smaller crowd at Lloyd and Harry's tonight than we've had for the past two shows, but we did have more (or different, I guess) comics. I emceed for Matt Wolff, Stevie P, Gabe Kea, Mike Strantz, John Doelling and Clayton Champagne. With a smaller crowd and going up first, it was tough to get the audience to pay attention, buT I did get some laughs out of them. Doelling said he liked the way I didn't let the lack of responce get to me on stage, which was very cool. It did seem (to me) that I lost my place once or twice, but I haven't been preparing set lists before many shows lately. I think I need to at least concentrate on what I am going to do, instead of winging it so much. And I definately have to be more serious. My intros were weird and long and I probably could have made it easier on everyone else if I made them seem (more) credible when they got on stage. My internet is seriously screwing up now, I bypassed my router and plugged my modem straight into the cable (I have a series of splitter running cable to 5 places (drops, if you will) throughout my condo, and I think they might be messing up my signal. I'll probably look into it more when it's not midnight.

Standing outsite the club, some lady on the phone said "guide" funny.

I went to Louisville, KY last night to the Comedy Caravan. I made a bunch of calls up there this week and was told if I showed up Saturday, they might be able to get me a spotlight. Might being the key word. I am not emphasizing that because I want them to sound jerky or anything, I'm emphasizing that word because I drove 550+ miles yesterday for 'might'.
I made the trip for a bunch of reasons, 1) the St. Louis weather has been bad, and I figured my power'd go out again, so I might as well have A/C in my car... 2) I was at the Caravan a couple months ago for their Tuesday show and due to a number of factors, didn't do as hot as I wanted... 3) Mike Armstrong was headlining.
Mike is one of the nicest guys I've worked with, and I really wanted a chance to share the stage with him again. Anyway, when I got to the club, I met Mike and a bunch of the club staff and was told I could do a set at the late show (11:45). It was like 7:30 or so, so I had four hours to kill. I went to fill up my gas tank, and hung out at the club in the bar until the show. During that time, I got to meet Keith McGill and Bob Batch. Keith and Bob are both headliners, but were filling out an all-Louisville week with Mike so they took turns with emceeing and featuring. Bob was emceeing the late show, so he brought me up. And that crowd was amazing. Since Louisville's bars don't close until 4:00am, these guys weren't already wasted and about to pass out, they likely still had places to go after the show, so it was different from the Westport Midnight show. Anyway, I did just under 7 minutes and had a lot of fun (and the crowd laughed). I forgot to do my Scorpion and motorcycle jokes, which I thought Mike would get a kick out of, but he was complimentary of my set regardless. After the show and some hanging out, I jumped in my car, hit a Waffle House and drove home. I got back at about 5:30 and passed out. After about 6 and a half hours of sleep and 2 hours of myspacing, I think it's time to shower and eat. But my internet's acting up (again) so I might have to save this to a text file and upload it later...

gimme mine

I did end up trying out my four new jokes tonight. Of the four, I think the lightening one has the best chances of surviving into my normal act. I can see it fitting into my "style" (or what I think my style is right now) better than the others. I went up first and probably would have done WAY better had I not been concentrating on the new stuff. Not that I didn't have a good set, I just didn't command the stage like I did last week. Anyway, the show lasted a long time and I stuck around until the end and am back home late, so I need to get to bed. Adam has ballots to vote on how the show should be run in the future (15 comics at 4-5 min. each Vs. 20 comics at 3-4 min. each). Either way is cool, there are pros and cons to each. I voted for the shorter list, simply because it gives a chance to work with a longer set, and if enough people stick to their time (or go under) Adam could throw up extras. I know some people gripe about having a defined list of performers and cutting people out, but it's simple Supply and Demand. There's a need for stage time, and Laughs wants to have a good show, so they can do what they want. Besides, most of the people who complain aren't at Lloyd and Harry's (or weren't at the old Bistro shows) so I don't see why they would be upset at a "lack" of stagetime.