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Last night at the Landing I had pretty much no fun at all. I was super excited to get on stage in front of an all comedian crowd, but when I actually got up and started working through the premises I had (I wasn't doing my regular stuff, really I wasn't doing anything I'd really worked on with an actual effort). Anyway, I got off stage feeling crappy. I sincerely believe it's never the crowd, or often it's not the crowd, and other guys last night got laughs, so if the crowd's not my problem, that leaves one thing. My shirt. Or me. Whichever.
I've known a couple of comedians who said that they had (had) to make it doing comedy because they didn't have anything else to be successful at. It's like they're in it for the money and the fame, or at least the money. But looking at myself, I don't see my intentions being much better. At a family reunion recently, relatives asked if I was still doing comedy. I don't know if I could ever look one of them in the eye and say "No, it was too hard" or something like that. So am I still in it because of my pride? Is that it? I mean I love making people happy, and my favorite way to do that is to make people laugh. But lately, I haven't been succeeding very well on stage. So I'm not doing it because it's fun or because it makes me happy, am I? Chad Huff told me once not to treat comedy like it's a job, and I don't think I am. But I think I am treating it like an obligation and I'm just not letting myself enjoy my stage time. I have some theories and ideas of what I could do, like take a break from comedy, or start drinking again, but I really don't think either of those things is going to help. Plus, neither sounds very appealing. I really don't think I can finish my thoughts on this subject in just one blogging, especially since I'm at work and supposed to be testing some weird queue software...
Also, I realize that this isn't the best blog for my "loyal readers" as far as interest goes, but Jeremy Essig's Notes isn't always about Comedy, but it's still cool to read. Likewise, Greg Warren's Journal seems like Greg talking about his problems (problems with Shoe stores, Mayonnaise and Starbucks, yes, but problems nonetheless). What I'm getting at is in 6 months, I'll be bored at work and I'll look back and read this and smile, because this problem will likely be a thing of the past. And in 6 years, I'll look back and read this and laugh because I am/was worried about something so small. Then I'll get in my Corolla-limo and drive to a show with Weird Al on VH1.

Ahhh delusions of grandeur...

Would the dummy juggle?

Last night while writing at the Starbucks in Westport, I came upon a startling discovery; it's not the premise that makes a comedian unique, it's the way he/she presents said premise. I've been sitting on a Halloween premise for at least two months, because I don't know how to word the joke. And since wording and delivery are as or more important than the premise itself, (see here or here for further info) I'm kind of at a loss. I was talking to Janine Brito and I think my delivery has gotten a little stale, and I'm really not sure what to do about it. Acting classes? Red Bull before getting on stage? Buddhist meditation? I realize that some people just aren't cut out to be comedians, but I refuse to believe I fall into that category. It's so frustrating, because most of the advice I hear/read says something like "you'll find it when you find it". Kind of the way Columbus found America while looking for India? If you follow that type of thinking, I'm probably going to end up as a magician or something. Oooh or better yet a ventriloquist who juggles!
As for the crowd last night, there must be something in the water, because the level of apathy in the room last night largely resembled the Bistro on Monday. It wasn't a very good example of crowd size/quality for the two comedians who drove down from Minneapolis. One, Mike Brody, used to run an open mic I hit when I lived in Minneapolis, and the other, Nicholas Anthony, was in Las Vegas last October. It was really cool to BS and catch up on some Minneapolis news (even though I haven't been there in 2 years or so. Anyway, I did my set and may or may not have gotten laughs (I'll have to check the audio), but I distinctly remember mumbling the f-word in the plural vocative¹ (ie ****ers) under my breath, I don't think the crowd caught it, but that doesn't matter to me. It's not just the not-being-clean that bugs me, that's also a sign I'm getting frustrated on stage; and there has to be visual signs clueing the audience in. And if they know I'm rattled, I'm not going to sell my jokes.
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¹ Vocative: adj : relating to a case used in some languages; "vocative verb endings" n : the case (in some inflected languages) used when the referent of the noun is being addressed.

Survey says...

I showed up last night at the Bistro at 8:45 per Clayton Champagne's instructions. Apparently I'm the only comic who actually reads the emails he sends out. No worries, though, as there wasn't any actual audience until about 9:45 or so. Clayton MC's as per usual and let me go up. I'm a little disappointed as I worked blue again. I remember punching my Valentine's day joke with a curse word, later Clayton helped me substitute the word "tramp". Anyway, I did about 9 and closed on my Ferrari/Corolla joke, which I usually open with. It was definitely a weird night for comedy; at one point I actually told the audience if they fakes agreeing with me, I'd be done a whole lot sooner. Sadly, that kind of sounds like my love life. And so does this. "I'm done, good night".¹
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Footnotes:
¹: Dirty? Yes. Graphic? No. Judges? DING!

a subject of none is so boring, but I couldn't think of anything else

Last night I Metro'd down by the Arch for some open mic in the main theatre room of Laughs on the Landing. I brought out almost every joke I've been doing in the past couple months in one set and recorded/timed it. 7:50. I'm alright with that. I switched around my Sports/Sex joke so it doesn't sound like I'm just listing off stuff. Instead of an X-Y-1234 style, it's more X-12-Y-34 where X is part of a setup and Y is the second part. Anyway, I'm at the point now where I think I need to pull out some of my older material and get it into shape. Then again, I would also like to start working on some new material and premises I've come up with. There doesn't seem to be enough time in the day, or enough stage time in the week... (sigh).
In any case, I liked the theatre room at LL, but everyone pretty much filled up the back of the room. If they had seaters (which I know is another person to pay, and for an open mic night without a cover charge, that's asking a lot) that would help. My stage time was fun, but I have a feeling I need to go back and study my delivery. I really don't want to lug around my video camera, but if I have to in order to keep my stage presence from getting stale, I will.

Working under Yakov

Last night I showed up at Starbucks to do some writing and I saw Tommy Jonhagin and Andy Woodhull. They were in town for Aspen Comedy Festival and so there was no open mic. I checked out the show, and Matt Behrens asked if I would keep time, which was pretty cool, because he could have asked ANYONE else to do it. The show last night was awesome and we got out in time for me to get some McDonalds and slap together a new strip. Pillows are hard to draw.

cats and dogs

Just so people don't think I'm 100% lazy; I'm actually blogging about yesterday's comedy. Or lack thereof. Lately I've been waiting more than a day or two to put my thoughts on, er, paper. Anyway, it was raining last night. A lot. But comedy is comedy, and I try not to put anything in front of it; so I jumped in my Corolla, and drove to St. Charles. At one point, I remember going through a stop light and realizing only too late that it wasn't functional due to power outages. Luckily, no one hit my car with theirs. I really should pay more attention to driving, but, what can I say, I was rocking out to some DJ Funk, an album I heard Kevin Bozeman listening to when I worked with him and Pat Dixon in Fairview Heights. The CD is horrible, which is probably why I like it so much. But I digress. I got down to the historical Main Street in St. Charles and found it to be almost entirely without power. :(
So I called Clayton Champagne and asked about the situation. He confirmed no power and said there probably wouldn't be a show. So I went home, and played some Yohoho Puzzle Pirates to celebrate National Talk Like a Pirate Day.
I really wanted to get some stage time, because I want to take everything I've been working on for the past 3 months or so and do it in one set, and try to get it on audio. I'm hoping I can get about 6 to 7 minutes out of it, but that's probably very wishful thinking. Anyway, the Westport list isn't up while I type this, so I don't know if I'm up. Halloween's coming up, which means I should try out this Halloween joke I came up with during the Funny Bone workshop.
Easier said than done.
Yarrr.

cans of paint and sports

Last night I met John Garrison in the lobby of where we work and drove to the airport Metro Station to pick up Jammer Bicks. From there we went to Troy, IL to rendezvous with Tom Milster. Then we headed to Springfield, IL. We got there super early, and had a bunch of time to sit around. There were 7 comedians in the show total, the four of us, a guy named Tim, a guy named Kevin (both of whom I've met before) and a guy named Dallas. The Line up was thus; Jammer, John, Tom, ME!, Dallas, Kevin, Tim. I tried my new [Internet/friend] joke, which was probably risky since it was a competition, but I wanted to fill a bit of time. I ended up doing about 5 1/2 minutes out of the 6 they wanted.
I can't comment for how others felt on stage, but I enjoyed my time. I'm realizing more that I am over talking my punch lines. Meaning I'll punch a joke and then mutter something like "that isn't cool" or something. I'm afraid it could be distracting, but I can see myself doing it because I feel my punch lines need validation, which probably means I don't believe in that joke, or I'm not delivering it in a way I believe is effective. I have a microphone clip thing I could put on my collar to get a closer take on what comes out of my mouth (versus what comes over the speakers), maybe I should use that. Anyway, John Garrison took first place, Dallas second, and Tom Milster third. After Springfield, Jammer, John and I hit LL and did a little time. At LL I did almost the exact same set I did in Springfield, only I ordered some jokes differently and I did the [Internet/Friend] joke. Oh the way to dropping John off, he and I worked on that joke a bit and added a couple things. I'm pretty excited to see how it sounds when it gets a little longer.

new jokes and new faces

To understand what happened with my stage time Tuesday, one has to know about the crowd. And all you need to know is they were pretty unenergetic. There was a bachelorette party (on a Tuesday?) which are usually known for being crazy and drunk and rowdy. But not these ladies, they had other plans (and tranquilizers, probably). Anyway, I can't say that the other comics did badly (because it's not like I brought down the house, you know?); I didn't see a bunch of the show because I was trying to talk shop in the bar. I do remember Scott Avery coming out and asking last week's feature (Stewart Huff) from Fairview Heights to do some time and "save" the show. Near the end of the show, there was a first timer who did about 3 minutes of characters from around where he lives (Southern IL or something like that), and finished by basically doing a PG-rated strip routine and contorting his leg behind his back and over his shoulder. And I got to follow that. Anyway, my set went as well as I could have hoped in the circumstances and I tried out a new bit with actually features a clean bestiality joke. I like the joke, and I think it can be built up a bit and hopefully turned into a longer, more developed subject. The Springfield competition is tonight, so it's road trip time.

Lazy and late

Ok, so this week I've been a little lazy with the blogging, but I did post a new Bucket of Fish, so that should count for something. Anyway, we didn't have a show Tuesday due to a severe lack of an audience, so I split out around 8:30 and did some (bad) drawing. Wednesday, LL didn't have much of a crowd either; since it was mainly comics, I did some new(er) stuff and my Fraggle Rock joke which I haven't done literally in forever. I actually ended up winning the 25 dollar prize that night. Yay me! Also, Gabe Kea plugged my blog again on stage (and I had every intention of blogging yesterday, but I got wrapped up in some Fallout 2 and then went out for the day).
Thursday was my birthday, so I went over to Fairview Heights and did a spotlight. My brother was there and said that that was probably the most uncomfortable he's seen me on stage. I rushed through a lot of my jokes (doing what could have been a 7-8 minute set in just over 5 minutes). I also closed with the [black name] which I really wish I wouldn't have done, but my [porno] closer didn't hit right and since I was going too quickly, I did it way too early. I really wanted to show Joey and Brett in Fairview that I've been working and getting better, but I don't think it was that great of a showing. However, when Joey left, she said I was getting better.
Anyway, next week is the competition in Springfield, which I'm excited about. I'd really like to get some work up that way again.

You know you're jealous

I was talking to Gabe Kea sometime this week and he mentioned how I needed a link to the funnybone's open mic list on my website. I told him I already had one (if you click on the "this page best viewed by a computer" at the bottom of my main page it leads to the list/signup page). Anyway, I realized that I wanted something to, well, tell me (and others) even more easily if I'm on stage at the bone on Tuesday. And thanks to kiddanger over at Experts-exchange, I have just that. On my main page now, there is a line at the bottom of the faux-window, saying "Funny Bone Open Mic:" and then the list status (List Not Published, I'm on the list, I'm not on the list). Clicking on that will also take you to the open mic list.
I realize this barely counts as a comedy update, but since I like computers and automated stuff like that, I wanted to point it out. I'm still working on an idea for a Bucket of Fish for this week; I'd like to put one up, even though I was on stage Tuesday.

Loco, Coo-coo, Bananas...

Last night, as I was riding the MetroLink to the Landing, 2 things happened.
1) I came up with a premise about riding the Metro
2) I got stopped by Metro security because I didn’t Validate my ticket stub.
Here's how it went down; when I parked at the N. Hanley lot, I had a little trouble getting my ticket and the train pulled up, so I rushed over. I passed a security guard and I indicated that I couldn't validate my ticket and still catch the train. He gave me a "go ahead" gesture and so I boarded the train. I explained this, politely I should add, to the fat security guards who were grilling me at the Central West End stop. They ended up writing me a warning, but I had to catch the next train to the Landing.
Anyway, when I got to LL, I ran my Metro premise by Mikey Manker. Originally I planned the bit to use the rule of three, where the examples are progressively crazier and crazier. Like Lvl 1 Crazy, Lvl 2 Crazy, Lvl 3 Crazy. Mikey's suggestion, however was like Lvl 9 Crazy, but it was too funny (to me) to pass up. I actually did the joke last night (and it worked fairly well) but I only had two examples, which were like Lvl 1 then BOOM LVL 9!!! I did some of my roommate jokes because I need to practice them and my roomie is moving out this month. Mikey also asked me to record and email him his set, which I did.
When we started, the crowd was all comics (about 6 or 8 of us) and two female audience members. During my set, some people came in, but I kept to a 4-5 minute set and got off. Everyone who performed while I was there kept it brief, (it's really hard to do extended sets in front of a single-digit sized audience). My ride back was uneventful and I ended up getting a #11 from McDonald's before I uploaded my audio and Mikey's audio from the show and went to bed.