Now, please let me clarify everything that I am about to say; April Fool's is my favorite holiday ever. I want to get married on April Fool's Day because I think as a comedian, it's just kind of fitting. There are a few minor problems, with that though.
1) Most people get married on a Saturday
2) Not many girls would want to get married on April fool's day
3) I am single
4) April fool's day is 59 days away!!!5
5) The next April Fool's on a Saturday is in 2017 (please see figure 1a).
Now here's the thing; I'm pretty sure that any girl who would get married on April Fool's Day is probably my kind of girl. So here's the deal; if any ladies read this, Would you marry me? We've got a bit of time to get to know each other (not much, though, the clock's ticking). I seriously want to get married on April Fool's Day. If only a court ceremony. We could do the whole big fancy wedding that every girl dreams of later (at your parents' expense of course).
Ladies here are my basic requirements; I'm not too picky but these are my "deal breakers":
1) female (meaning, you are a female, were never a dude, and are not a dude trapped in a female's body)
2) over 18 years of age (16 with a parent or guardians note) (only kidding!)
3) under 40 years of age
4) no smokers
5) no "smokers" or other drug users
6) I (heart) redheads (not a requirement, I just (heart) redheads, so they'll probably get special treatment)
7) must love kids, cartoons, video games, stand-up comedy
Anyone interested in marrying me, please submit a recent (full body) photo or better yet show up to one of scheduled appearances (check my schedule here. (I'll make sure to update it as soon as I get home tonight). All photos become the intellectual property of me and I have full disclosure to post them here on on my (sigh) myspace profile. If you have any other questions, please email me.
| figure1a | |
|---|---|
| 04/01/2006 | Saturday |
| 04/01/2007 | Sunday |
| 04/01/2008 | Tuesday |
| 04/01/2009 | Wednesday |
| 04/01/2010 | Thursday |
| 04/01/2011 | Friday |
| 04/01/2012 | Sunday |
| 04/01/2013 | Monday |
| 04/01/2014 | Tuesday |
| 04/01/2015 | Wednesday |
| 04/01/2016 | Friday |
| 04/01/2017 | Saturday |