I got to host last night's show at the Bistro, and I really am not too thrilled about my set; I'd give it a C, maybe C+. It was just me, Kyle, Clayton and Stevie P. performing. I even came up with a joke yesterday at the gym and I think I forgot to do it last night (which is not fun). Sometime during Clayton's set, a birthday party of three girls came in. One apparently needed attention on a life-or-death level, so she jumped on the stage and demanded we sing her friend Happy Birthday. So, we as a bar did what anyone would do when cute girls drunkenly ask for something. We boo'd the crap out of them. The crowd demanded a joke from her so Clayton whispered the lines to Seinfeld's Airline peanuts joke. I appreciated it. Anyway, the show ran until about midnight maybe, I was tired from the gym so I split and went to sleep.
I was at the gym and got on one of the elliptical machines and it starting asking questions:
machine: *beep* Age?
me: 26.
machine: *beep* Height?
me: 5" 11.
machine: *beep* Weight?
me: Dang, I just want to jog a bit… 165lbs.
machine: *beep* Mother's Maiden name?
me: Are you serious?
machine: *beep* Mother's Maiden name? Now.
me: Arens.
machine: *beep* Have you ever been to Africa?
me: What? No
machine: *beep* Have you ever had sex with a man, even once?
Obviously that's a little too long (I'd like to drop it to a rule of three, plus maybe one tag, then again I could do a 3+1+1). I am sure I wouldn't My main concentration on the joke right now, though, is getting to it. I mean I could just say "I was at the gym and got on one of the eliptical machines and it starting asking questions" but that's a pretty weak setup as far as I'm concerned. Maybe I could just fly into it, "I was working out at the gym, I got on an eliptical machine and it was like Age, Weight? Have you ever been to Africa?" I'll see how it works if I get on tonight.
I am the chosen, I am the one
If you have any suggestions about the wording of joke above, I'd love to hear them. You could email me, it's way faster than smoke signals...