I watch a lot of anime.
I play a lot of RPG's.
Wikipedia defines grinding as the process of engaging in repetitive and/or non-entertaining gameplay in order to gain access to other features within the game.
(I'm going somewhere with this, I promise)
In anime and RPG's; the main character works and works and eventually hits some unknown level and becomes (usually) an unstoppable fighting machine. I've been "grinding" stand up comedy for quite a while, and I'm starting to realize that I'm not going to hit some crazy, near god-like level. And the weird part about it is, I'm good with that. In cartoons (which aren't real) the grinding process is massive and so the pay-off is just as massive. In life (read my life) the struggle is varies from moderate to massive, but I am rewarded periodically with good sets, a new joke, work at a new club, or a "good job" from some random audience member.
Last night I was at the Westport Funny Bone, and Rahn Ramey had Andy Faasen and I do some time. I got to emcee (I omitted my black-name joke). The crowd was pretty talkative, so my set wasn't the Kaioken Kamehameha set I am (always) looking for. However, my gay-bar joke got a great laugh for my closer, which was awesome. After my set, Jeremy Essig went up, then Andy, and then I did my skiing joke as Rahn told me to do some more time. I did that joke, saw a light in the back and brought Rahn up. During the show I asked about announcements and Matt and Jeff didn't have anything other than the website/myspace and wait staff.
Sometimes I wish I didn't know people read this, and sometimes I wish I would have used more anonymity because then I wouldn't feel weird about revealing the weird way my brain works, or how I sometimes confuse reality with Japanese Kung Fu Cartoons, or movies staring Taimak and Julius Carry. Sadly I'm too stuck with this blog to start a new one; and too busy to commit to the OCD task of giving the blog a new address and "coding" all the names and references in order to create the anonymity my self confidence probably needs.