I am kind of tired right now, but I want to do some writing. Last night Nick Allen and I were having a talking and writing session. I wanted to talk about Star Wars a bit, because I don't understand why no one would fight dirty. I mean, I understand why a Jedi would follow a more honorable way of fighting, but the Sith are just idiots if they don't use the Force to their advantage. The main example of this is Force push. If you can pick up something with your mind, it stands to reason that you can crush the same thing. Or at least squeeze it. Darth Vader proved that with his Force choke when he strangled people who we was talking with on the telecom (read video phone). So why wouldn't you just sword fight someone and force crush their balls? Seriously, you want to swing a laser sword at me? I don't think so, that's dangerous. I'm just going to crush your balls. WITH MY MIND!
Ok if you want to give someone a fighting chance (pun intended) them I guess you could leave the jewels alone, but you could always just use your telekinesis to stop their sword in midair. I mean, how hard would that be to stop a person's arm when you just got done lifting an X-Wing (with your mind) while standing on one arm (with help from your mind).
I guess my argument loses a little bit of momentum because 1) we're talking about science fiction and 2) no one ever really details how Force manipulation works. I mean when you look at telekinesis, in my mind there are two schools of use: I look at it like motor skills. Say you're a Jedi and you can lift an X-Wing with your mind, can you clean your ears with a Q-Tip with your mind? I mean, are you just strong with the Force, or can you exercise a little bit of finesse? Because if you can paint some happy little trees across the room with a floating paint brush, that would be kind of cool. Granted, you'd probably want to be able to see your palate and your canvas, but still.
While we're talking about people not using their Force powers to their full potential; I want to mention flying. Flying would be the ultimate cooperation of Gross and Fine Force Skills. You would have to be able to lift your weight (technically more, if you factor in that acceleration away from the ground would actually make you weigh more than you do) and control yourself.
You're a Jedi. And you want to fly. Where do you start. I mean, do you imagine a giant hand just picking you up and carrying you around? Something has to be holding you up. Do you just make little bitty things under your feet that you stand on and they lift you in the air? Ok, then what about flying forward, do you get parallel to the ground like Superman would, or not?
In my mind this is would be the scariest phrase a Jedi could hear: Flying Lightsaber. Yeah, imagine that stuff. You're fighting a bunch of droids on a planet or space ship somewhere and there's a Sith Lord somewhere around. Then out of nowhere a red light saber comes flying at you and starts swinging. It's like someone is holding it, the way it moves and strikes, but since no one is holding it, it never has to Parry or defend. How are you going to get out of this one? Use the force to find the guy and crush his balls? No siree, Bob. First you're too busy defending this crazy GD sword that has a mind of it's own to detect the Sith Lord, and second, you can't Force Crush his balls because it's against the Jedi Code and aliens of his race DON'T EVEN HAVE BALLS. So what are you gonna do now?
You know what would be a dirty trick? Turning off someone's light saber mid battle. I mean, it has to have an on/off switch somehow. Maybe it's a physical switch you flip light a light switch in your condo. Or maybe it's something inside that you have to flick WITH YOUR MIND. Who knows. But I bet it would be hilarious to do that in the middle of a battle. Like, you let your opponent think they're gonna win, and right as they swing down to cut you in half, you turn off their sword so they just stumble and almost fall over. Then you both laugh for a second because it's funny and then you CRUSH THEIR BALLS before cutting them in half. Also, you cut of their ear for your necklace.
You know what I hate? Droids. Why do the droids in the Star Wars galaxy all have IQs that approximate a human being's? Seriously, you have space ships and lazer swords and you can travel the speed of light, why would you limit how smart your computers can get? It just seems to me, it would be a lot easier if R2D2 could use his crazy processor speed (you know it's super fast, like way-beyond pentium (do you remember those? It was a 586 mhz processor like a decade ago, whoopidy doo!). Anyway, if R2D2 could just, I don't know, pilot the ship and drop some photon torpedoes to blow up the Death Star, so many lives would have been saved. But no, they have to use humans and aliens and stuff. I just thought of something, there were like NO ALIENS that fought with the Rebels. It was ll humans (with the exception of that one fish-looking General, he was cool).
I mean, they used droids as guards and stuff in the prequels, so why couldn't they just make a droid fly the ship. Or, here's an idea, make the ship autonomous. That would be good too. And did you ever notice that wifi isn't even an option in the Star Wars galaxy. Seriously, no one thought to have the computers use radio frequencies and stuff to communicate, you have to plug into the wall every time you need to stop a garbage compactor. Well, it's a good thing we brought our adapter kit...