This weekend I went to a bachelor party in Columbia, MO. Before the "festivities" (it's in quotes for a reason) a couple of us stopped at the Olde Un Theatre, a pillar of the Columbia porn industry. While there, I realized that porn is honest and Hollywood is dishonest. Look at the names of Hollywood movies. The titles don't tell you anything. But in porn, it's completely different. I know exactly what I'm in for when I (hypothetically) rent Black Girls Who Ride the White Meat.
The elves snuck in my cobbler's shop and busted me some treats
But the boots they left is not the kind that you puts on your feets